Take This To Heart

Juliet.

I woke up with a knot in the pit of my stomach.

My mind immediately flashed with scenes from what happened last night. I wasn’t drunk enough to forget. Come to think about it, I don’t think I was drunk at all. Fuck.

But maybe this could be good. Maybe after this, Jack would realize what he had. He had me. And he had told me last night Annie was nothing compared to me. So he might leave her. Might. It was that moment that I realized the space next to me was completely empty.

I let out a loud breath and stood up slowly, throwing a shirt over my body. I needed some air. I needed to be off this bus. And again, for about the hundredth time on this tour, I needed to be home. Because this was just making me sad.

As soon as I stood up from my bunk and walked into the main area of the bus, I immediately regretted walking out in the first place.

"Morning."

I smiled slightly and walked over to the coffee maker, pouring myself a glass.

"What are you doing up?"

Alex shrugged, sitting back on the couch with a smug expression on his face. "What are you doing in Jack's shirt? Why didn't you sleep in your own bunk last night? Where is Jack now? Questions."

My shoulders dropped and I paused for a second, sipping my coffee with my back to Alex. The last thing I needed was him making this harder than it had to be. I was already mad enough this morning, and I didn't need him making it worse.

"I think you can guess the answer Alex."

He nodded slowly. "I can't believe you fucked him, Jules. After everything he put you through."

"Why are you with Colleen, after she bitches out all your friends, including me?" I took a step toward him and looked him in the eyes. "It's because she's all you know and you've ever loved. You don't know any better."

"Yeah, but at least she has the balls to make it official with me-"

I laughed and shook my head. "You need to stop acting like Jack and Colleen are the same."

"You're being too loud."

"What?" I said a little louder before whispering. "Scared your girlfriend will think you're cheating on her with me? Oh wait, that's true."

Alex looked me in the eyes. All I could see was hurt in his, like I had just made him feel like absolute shit. But I didn't care. People needed to here things they didn't want to sometimes. They needed to know if they had hurt me.

"Stop pretending like you are better than Jack-"

Alex stood up and walked closer to me. "You know I would be better for you than him."

"I wouldn't know, you haven't proven to me that you have any kind of balls Alex. Colleen's had you whipped since the first day-"

"You are such a bitch, Jules." Alex said with a soft smirk on his lips.

I laughed and moved out of his grasp. "That's your own problem, you're the one that's in love with me."

With that I stepped off the bus, coffee cup in my hand and a soft smile on my face. I loved how Alex put himself on a pedestal, totally ignoring what was really going on. It was somewhat fun to offer him the reality check he needed once and a while.

As soon as I stepped off the bus and took a breath of somewhat fresh gas station air, I heard Jack's voice coming from the back corner of the bus. I quietly made my way over, ready to say whatever I needed to.

But there was still room for us to work together. Maybe he was making an important call or maybe he was talking to Joyce. Maybe he was calling Annie to cut things off. All I knew was that I wanted to be with him. And all he needed to do was to make the move to be with me too, and we would.

I stood with my back on the bus, listening from around the corner. Wow, I really was a bitch.

"Yeah," He laughed, but it was definitely a little fake. "yeah, I'll see you soon."

It was silent as he laughed lightly again and I felt my heart race.

"Well I know we are going to end up there somewhere on the tour... oh you checked? Well uh, yeah. Maybe they guys all would-"

Jack coughed, listening to the other line before sighing. "Yes, she would have to come. No, look, I promise... Annie, stop, nothing is going on with her. That was a long time ago. I'm with you now okay?"

And in that sentence, my heart sank to the floor. I couldn't tell where Jack put his bullshit now-a-days. He had lied to me, to my face, for what? Sex?

I caught my breath as I heard Jack pause, taking a few steps toward where I was standing. But I didn't move. I turned and looked him straight in the eyes, making sure the pain was visible on my face. I wasn't vulnerable in front of too many people, and I was for him. He had totally exploited that.

"I'm going to have to call you back," Jack said softly, "I'll call you later."

With that he hung up the phone as I flicked him off, turning around as he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I was only angrier.

"Juliet, please let me explain-"

"What is there to explain Jack? I think I just heard exactly what you fucking think. What am I to you anymore? Cause it seems like I'm not even your friend. Friends don't do that to friends, Jack. I know you remember what you told me last night-"

"I was drunk-" Jack tried.

I shook my head as the tears came rolling down. "BULLSHIT!" I yelled, hitting him lightly in the chest. "Don't lie to me, Jack! We had two beers, tops. You looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me and thought I was beautiful you told me everything. And you didn't mean shit of it-"

"Dammit Juliet, let me explain." Jack said reaching out for my arm again. "Please, give me a minute."

"Don't touch me." I said in a light, vulnerable voice, my eyes pinned at the ground. "You used me. You're sick and disgusting and I hate you."

Jack stepped forward as I stepped back, moving towards the bus. "You don't mean that. Please."

"I don't want to hear any of your shit anymore. What do you want me to believe, huh? Because you tell me one thing and then you tell your girlfriend another. I'm done with these games, I'm done wasting my time, I'm fucking DONE with you."

He shook his head slowly. "I can't be with you."

"I hate you."

I walked away slowly, back on the bus, tears bursting down my face as Alex looked up from his computer screen from the couch.

"Jules, what's wrong?" He said, standing up and holding me. "What did he do?"

I let him hold me for a second before pushing him a way. "I can't be here anymore."

"Why? Juliet please, we need you here."

"I can't do this anymore."