Take This To Heart

Juliet

Well, I hadn’t been in this position in a while.

I slid into some shorts and a yellow top, examining myself in the mirror. I hadn’t gone on an actual date in as long as I could remember. I mean, I was always surrounded by these idiots. Time was never on my side. Let alone anyone there who actually wanted to take me out. And there was the fact that when someone did, I was picky as hell.

But that was over. I was getting on with whatever shit was going on here, and that was that.

Bracelets clinked on my wrist as I turned and through the curtain out of the doorway of bus’s hallway.

My body jumped as I saw a smirking figure sitting on the couch.

“Holy fuck, Alex you scared me.”

Alex let out a little laugh. “So you’re actually gonna do this?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be meeting fans?”

“Those shorts are a bit short,” Alex disregarded my question, “you look like a whore.”

I smirked. “Good, that’s what I was going for.”

“Jules, none of us now this guy-”

“Oh, so you see the appeal?”

He shook his head. “No, shut up! I’m being serious. Just blow him off, I’ll cover for you! And then we can go out for drinks-”

“Fuck off.”

Alex moved in front me again. “Is this just because of Jack?”

I shook my head quickly and let out a short laugh, my eyes moving to the floor. Alex was being completely unbelievable.

“No, he doesn’t even know this is happening. Unless you told him, which you probably did. Alex come on. This guy is nice.”

“Oh, so what’s his name again?”

I thought for a second before flipping him off. “Go away.”

“Jack is gonna be pissed.”

“Alex, just don’t tell him.”

Alex smirked, pausing for a second. “Where’s he taking you?”

“Some bar. I think it’s called the Black Sheep.”

He nodded. “Have fun.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Right hand or left hand?”

I smiled as I stepped out of the bus, shaking my head softly. It still amazed me Alex and I stayed friends through all these years. The guy annoyed the shit out of me, but he was like a brother to me. I had gotten used to his fucking antics. Hell, I embraced them.

As I stepped off, a smiling face greeted me. He was cute. He had dimples and was tall, a lot fuller than Jack and hardly as lanky. I liked him already.

Bryant, that was his name.

“Hi!” I said, smiling.

“Hey Jules.” Bryant smiled, “You look beautiful.”

I blushed. “You’re sweet.”

And truthfully, he was. One of the sweetest guys I had ever met. He opened doors for me, laughed at all my jokes, and made funny ones himself. He was a writer, and he was very smart. Bryant was the type of guy my mom would call a keeper.

“I’m mainly into photography, but I write short snippets from time to time.” Bryant explained, sipping his beer. “It’s just cool meeting bands and getting into the industry, ya know?”

I nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I want to be a writer myself. I majored in college for it, actually. But this is life right now.”

“Touring? How’s that?”

“Ugh,” I groaned, “I dunno. Tiring. But don’t get me wrong, I really love it. And these guys are my family.”

“They’re lucky to have you on the tour with them.”

“Like hell they are! I keep shit together.”

Bryant laugh. “If you ever want to pick up writing though, I could introduce you to the editors. Maybe put in a good word. They’d love someone like you, with all your insight and insider views.”

“Really?” I took a breath in. “You think they’d like me?”

“You’re funny, and smart, and beautiful. They’d love you.”

I couldn’t help but blush again. “Yeah, I’d actually really appreciate that.”

“Well do you think you could do me a favor?”

I shrugged. “Depending on what it is.”

“I’d love an interview with the guys. Specifically Alex and Jack. Those two are riots, the readers eat it up,” He laughed, “Jack is quite the character.”

Biting my lip, my eyes bulged. “That’s the truth.”

“Are you two close?”

“You could say that.”

He nodded, ordering us another round as my eyes caught onto something in the clear, large glass windows. I couldn’t believe this. No, this was definitely a dream. If it was reality, he was dead. More than dead. I was about to bash his head in right now. This was the lowest of lows.

And he was walking in the bar, his eyes set at me and a smirk on his face.

“You alright?”

I shook my head at Bryant’s question just as he slid down on the stool beside me, that same stupid smirk on his face just begging me to smack it off. If he continued to play his cards like this, I would happily oblige.

“Hey guys! I had no idea you’d be here. I just wanted a quick drink.”

Bryant smiled. “Oh, you’re Jack right? I’m Bryant.”

Jack nodded. “Hey man, nice to meet you.”

“To you as well. Juliet and I were actually just talking about you.”

“Oh, were you!?” Jack’s eyes bulged. “Juliet is quite the talker.”

I smirked and looked deep into his eyes. “Why did you say you were here?”

“Wanted a drink. My back is KILLING me.” Jack said as he took off his jacket and set it next to him on the table. “Hey Jules, you kinda look like a bumblebee. Yellow and black.”

“It’s brown.”

“Well, still. Buzz buzz.”

Bryant laughed. “Can I get you a drink, Jack?”

“Jack don’t you have an interview? I thought Flyzik was gonna have Gunz call you tonight. Like now.”

Jack made a face indicating he was in thought before shaking his head. “Nope, no, I’m pretty sure Gunz is a douche bag and I’d rather not.”

“Oh, but you will.”

“Make me.”

I grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him off the stool, holding up a finger to Bryant before dragging him out of the bar. The smirk on his face was burning into my skin. He was being an asshole and I was done putting up with it.

As we got out, that same smile was still planted there.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Jack shrugged. “I needed a drink.”

“Jack, can you taking a fucking hint? I’m practically begging you to get out. Or are you just trying to be an ignorant asshole and ruin something good for me?”

“Jules, he’s-”

“He’s what?” I stopped him. “He’s nice, decent, pleasant, fun to be around, simple, not a total dick to me ninety-nine percent of the time? He’s not you?”

He stayed silent, staring at the brick wall behind me, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“Do you even remember what you told me last night?”

Suddenly his eyes met mine. “Whatever it is, I’m sorry and I probably didn’t mean it.”

I shook my head, the smirk now on my face. “You told me you were in love with me.”

Jack’s head shot to the ground, his eyes planted on my feet and as large as boulders. My heart pounded with satisfaction at his silence. It was about time someone shut him up. Still, his words planted into my mind, that whisper of his lips telling me he was in love with me. And that twinge of my brain telling me stop believing a word he said.

“Jules, I-”

“You don’t need to explain,” I said with a hard tone to my voice, “I’ve heard that from you before. That was the night you took my virginity, thenleft me. I’m used to your words,” I paused and whispered, “Your fucking empty words.”

“That’s not fair,” Jack said quickly, “It was my virginity too.”

I stopped for a second, looking up at him. “Wait-”

“So stop holding that on this fucking pedestal. Because it meant a lot to me and it was so fucking hard-”

“Was it Jack!? Because no matter what it meant to either of us, you were the one that ended it all that morning. That was you. So how about you stop pretending we have an equal offense here.”

“You’re such a bitch, Jules. Really. Stop thinking I care so much about you-”

“Just stop caring about me then!” I spat, tears coming to my eyes and my voice trembling. “See if I give a fuck, Jack. You know what? I hate you. I fucking hate you. Everything thing about you. You’re nothing to me.”

Jack shook his head quickly and began to walk away, his eyes stuck to the ground and his hands his pockets, acting like I was part of the air.

The tears spilled down my cheeks, my back sliding against the brick wall and my hands coming to my face. In that moment, I wanted so badly to hate him. For making me stick on him, for making me cry, for keeping me around his finger. I wanted to hate him so badly.

I wanted to hate him, most of all, for one main reason. I was in love with him too. And that was the worst part. I was always in love with him.

Slowly I looked into the window of the bar. Seeing the empty stool where Bryant was sitting even made me cry more.

I had never felt so weak in my entire life.

I could never hate Jack. But I could hate myself.

And right now, I did.