I Lost My Fear of Falling

For the past couple weeks Mikey has been coming over after school to hang out and drink coffee with me.
This has given me time to have whatever mushy feeling I had about him before develop into a full-fledged crush.
He just…gets me in a way no one except Wes has.
My mom came into the kitchen one day after he left and asked why I wasn’t dating him.
“Mom!” I so did not want to discuss my dating with her.
“He seems like a nice boy.” She held up her hands in surrender. “And he certainly spends enough time here. Just don’t have sex with him.”
“Good God, do we have to have this conversation?” I covered my ears.
“Sweetheart, I just don’t want to see you end up a teenage mother. Or get hurt.” She kissed my forehead and went over to the stove to stir a pot of something that smells awfully good.
“Emmy can you…” She trailed off.
“Is there a caboose to this train of thought?” I giggled. She didn’t respond. “Mom? Mom!”
She was leaning to one side, her mouth twisted. Her legs buckled and I barely caught her before she hit the floor.
“DAD! RIVER!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. They came running down the stairs and I barely heard them call the ambulance.
I stood outside and watched them drive away, arms wrapped tight around myself. I was shaking so hard I could barely stand.
There was a knock on the door a few minutes later and I almost tripped over myself trying to get to the door.
I flung myself at Mikey, face pressed into his Anthrax t-shirt which was quickly getting soaked by my tears.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” He soothed, closing the door behind him. “What happened?”
“My mom.” I managed to choke out. Everything felt like it was whirling past and I was stuck in slow motion. I cried myself out after a while and realized I must have dragged Mikey up to my room.
Cuz we were in my room.
On my bed.
Alone.
Damn you teenage hormones. This is a crisis!
“Have you eaten anything?” Mikey asked.
“Uhh, coffee with you and that was it.”
“I’ll go make you something.” He started to get up and I pulled him back down.
“I don’t want to be alone.” I sounded so desperate but at this point I honestly didn’t give a shit.
“Then come on silly.” He smiled and held his hand out for me.
I grabbed it like it was a life preserver and I was drowning.
He ended up making grilled cheese sandwiches for the two of us. I barely picked at mine.
“Emmy, am I gonna have to do ‘the train goes into the station’?” He warned.
“I’m not hungry. But thanks for making sure I was okay. You probably have to get home don’t you?”
“Nope. I’m yours for the evening.”
Why did my heart beat so fast when he said that?
So we went back up to my room and talked for I don’t know how long.
All I know is that I woke up the next morning spooning with him.
And a very pissed off River standing over us.
“Comfy?” He gestured to Mikey, who was still wearing his glasses.
“Mikey. Mikey wake up.” I shook him and his eyes finally opened.
“Oh shit I fell asleep.” He muttered, sitting up.
“Hi there. Care to explain who you are and why you’re in my baby sister’s bed?” River crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m Mikey; I live next door to you guys. And I’m in her bed because I fell asleep here after you all left her to go to the hospital.” Mikey actually sounded pissed off.
“You should go home and change, look at the time.” I needed Mikey out so I could calm River down.
“I’ll see you at school.” Mikey gave me a brief hug and headed home.
“Boyfriend?” River asked.
“No. Friend who happens to have a dick.”
“Well if you ever need condoms…” I swatted at my brother.
“How’s Mom?” He sobered up immediately.
“She had a stroke. They’re keeping her at the hospital until they can figure out why.” I nodded, feeling like someone had just punched me in the stomach.
But I still showered, got dressed and went to pick up Wes as usual.
“What happened?” She demanded when she got in the car. The whole story spilled out on the way to school.
“I’m so sorry babe. But at least Mikey ended up in your bed.”
“Wes!” I glanced over at her and noticed something that looked like….a hickey? “Is that hickey on your neck?”
“Have you seen Frank hun?” She laughed. “At least one of us is getting some.”
“Oh God I don’t wanna know.” I shuddered and turned the car off. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
“Bye babe.” We went our separate ways and I waited anxiously for lunch.
I wanted to see Mikey.
Badly.
When I walked up to the table Mikey was facing away from Frank and Wes, who were sucking face like there was no tomorrow.
“Bit awkward isn’t it?” I asked, sitting down next to Mikey.
“Just a bit. Did you get in trouble?”
“Nah, River’s cool. Now if it was my dad, I’d be calling you Michaela.” Because he would have no balls by this point.
“How’s your mom?”
“Apparently she had a stroke and she’s gonna be in the hospital for a while.” I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “Any idea when we fell asleep last night?”
“Not a fucking clue.”
“So did you finally bang Mikey?” Frank interjected, having finally come up for air.
“Nah, all clothes stayed in place.” Wes sighed. “You haven’t paid attention to anything I’ve said have you Ems?” I just rolled my eyes. Mikey squeezed my hand under the table and my heart stuttered a little.
As usual, he knocked on my door fifteen minutes after I got home.
But this time it wasn’t to drink my coffee.
“Do you wanna come watch my band practice?” He asked.
“You’re in a band?” He just got infinitely more attractive.
“I play bass.” He smiled shyly and I nodded. River and my dad were at the hospital, where I’d just been to see my mom. She was asleep for most of my visit.
I followed him into his garage, where Frank was standing with a guitar. Gerard and two guys I didn’t know where standing there as well.
“Aww, Mikey’s got a girlfriend.” The one with short orange hair cooed.
“Shut it Bob. Emmy, this is Ray and Bob.” Mikey pointed them out. Ginger was Bob and the guy with the fro was Ray.
“She’s so out of your league.” Ray shook his head.
“Dude, they’re not dating. Yet. Frank and I are working on that.” It was then that I noticed my pink haired friend sitting behind him on an amp.
“Jesus Christ, you scared me Wes.” I sat down next to her. “You should have told me you were gonna be here, I could have brought you.”
“Yeah but I hate hospitals.” She shuddered.
“Why were you going to a hospital?” Gerard asked.
“You didn’t see the fucking ambulance yesterday? My mom had a stroke.” Mikey rested his hand on my shoulder gently.
“That sucks.” Bob winced.
“I’m okay. Anyway, shouldn’t you guys be practicing?” Wes and I got off the amp because we both liked our hearing the way it was and took a seat on the steps.
They started playing and about halfway through we started head banging.
They kicked ass.
Gerard was an awesome singer, Ray and Frank played guitar like badasses, Bob was beating the shit out of those drums and Mikey…well Mikey was a bass god.
And I can’t even play an instrument.
After a couple hours people started filtering out. Ray and Bob went home, Frank and Wes disappeared to do dirty things to each other and Gerard went inside for something.
I picked up Mikey’s bass and strummed the thick strings.
“I don’t think your hands will reach around. Here hold one up.” His hands were a lot bigger than mine. Was it wrong that I was noticing how warm they were?
“Emmy, I-” He stopped and started to lean down.
Holy shit he’s gonna kiss me he’s gonna kiss me-
Crash.
That’s right.
I fell off the amp.
At least I wasn’t holding the bass.