Who wants to be a Jackass?

*Annie POV*

We’ll spare you the rest of the details, about the prize, getting to know our place in this whole situation and…how we’re both be on MTV because of our awesome YouTube video!! (God bless Facebook. It’s important to the human kind!) Suck it, loosers! I’m famous!
With that said…

Dinner Time!!

We sat at the table with all the jackasses and also Bam´s parents.
Everything was going great, until Dave England spilled his drink on top of Wee Man. All Hell broke loose. Food flying around, napkins hitting our face, seriously, if I didn’t know their ages, Id say they never left puberty, but hey… me and Ju cant talk much about that, right? (because we’re grown up kiddies, the kind pedobear loves the most. Sexyyyy!)
We were having fun until we hear a veryyyyyy angry scream coming from Bam´s Mom.

"IVE HAD ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU, CLEAN ALL OF THIS. WE ARE LEAVING! BUT ILL COME BACK TOMORROW, AND IF THIS HOUSE ISNT SHINING,ILL DESTROY EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WITH MY OWN HANDS!!!" (Geeeez, that’s not good for her heart! Poor Woman, menopause is a bitch!)

Ju almost fell off the chair. You can’t do that you silly mom!

Anyways, Bam´s mom is like a goddess around here, even though Bam has those crazy ideas, what is mom says is a law. LAW! Got it?
So we just spend the next two hours cleaning the kitchen (Yup, it was that bad.)
Steve-O decided we should watch Jackass 3. (Remember is living, people and everyone wants to die at the age of 250 while roller skating in a buffalo herd.)
Not sure if it is the best idea of all, since the 3rd movie is pretty hardcore for the stomach. Let’s just assume everything will go better than expected and none of us has to clean up anything else for 2 hours, AGAIN!

Everyone tried to sit on the couch but the first ones getting there were Ryan and Knoxville, so I just jumped on Ryan’s lap and Ju sat on Knoxville’s lap as well. The other guys just randomly sat down on the floor. Bam was with his wife Missy now, we didn’t mention her earlier cuz, you know…Girlfriends/ Wifes aren’t our thing, COMPETITION, I TELL YOU!! (Oh well, can’t have everything I want in the world, ‘till I get my 100,000 Euros share, HECK YEÀH!)

We could also spare you the details about watching the movie, not forgetting the part where we are sat on famous people’s laps, buuuut, boose came along…

The problem is not the alcohol, it’s US! (*insert dramatic tune here*) I’ve never been much of a party, drinking kind of person and Ju…well Ju and alcohol are arch-enemies (besides her neighbours and spiders), being alcohol the winner all the time.

“Vodka, we need some vodka, we need some vodka, hey!” we were just singing, but I guess they saw it as an order and a few seconds later we both had 2 full bottles of it in our hands. After a few MINUTES, yeah minutes... I was drunk. (Oh, alcohol, you’re so funny…)

I turned to Ryan and grabbed his cheeks going "Cutchi Cutchi, you’re the cutest thing ever,you know?" he just tried to move his face away with no success.

Ju got up and she started dancing tango, with one of her hands up, holding the bottle, it’s pretty much a classic, she doesn’t know how to dance, but when she gets wasted, she’s the star of the show, alcoholically speaking.
Steve O was fucking wasted too, he was doing some kind of handstand, but in front of the stairs (don’t ask..).

Danger Ehren was already out, without his shirt, near the kitchen counter with a bottle of whiskey in his left hand.
I got up from Ryan’s lap, went up to Steve and pushed him to the ground. He fell, and I though he fucking died, cuz he just blacked out for a second there. But he’s just too hardcore. He got up and started running after me.
I looked back and started running as well. Suddenly I felt the floor approaching my face and I was down. HE FUCKING TACKLED ME.
"Jesus Christ, you retard!" I drunkly mumbled.
"That’s what you get for trying to kill me! MUHAHAHAHAHA” ok, that was scaryyyyy! (Believe me. Someone forgot to hire Chucky, the creep over there!)

Holy mother bear! I looked to the left and Ju was now teaching Knoxville how to dance jumpstyle. I fell on my back again, laughing.

Then, I saw Bam and Misty get up and Bam yelled, trying to be heard cuz of the loud music.
"YOU FUCKERS, I’M GOING TO BED! HAVE FUN!" and with that, he left...
Me and Ju just looked at each other with an evil grin and started laughing like mad.

“This is going to be awesome.” Ju walked up to the stereo, turned off the music and everyone got Ohh so very tired (yeahh,right..).
"Guys, lets go to sleep...” I said, most of them already passed out, so it wasn’t too hard to keep them quiet.

I went to the couch and Ju laid down on the floor right next to me.
Not even half an hour passed and we heard a reallyyyyyyy loud crash and a bang.
"EARTHQUAKE!! HIDE!" Ryan got up and went hiding down the kitchen table.
Me and Ju just stayed where we were and fist pumped each other, not even needing to open our eyes, grinning and mumbling a light laugh.

Knoxville and Dave England got up and went upstairs to check on Bam and Misty. Everything went quiet and we heard K and D laughing like Hell.
“Mission accomplished, my dear!” I whispered to Ju.
We got up and ran upstairs, almost flying, I’d say. (Up, up and awayyyy…not)
We followed the laughing sounds and there they were, Bam and Misty in a sandwich with their bed.
I fell on the ground laughing, Ju couldn’t even breath, she was just beating the wall with her fist and laughing like hell.

“You call that sleep?” Knoxville blurted out. Everyone, even Missy, was laughing. Only Bam was red as a tomato, covering his, literally, butt-naked body with the sheets.

Yes, he chased us out of the room, but he was naked (naaaakeeeed…), so he’d never go too far to beat the living crap out of us.
Luckily, we survived! (Yeaaaah, dun duuun du duuuun…CSI music.)

After that, we really went to sleep, cus we were all too tired to talk about it.