The Time Capsule

Chapter Nine

Selena

I woke up and the first thing I noticed was that Amber wasn’t in the room any longer. Her bags were packed and on the bed, waiting to be put into the car. I climb out of bed and start to pack as well. We wanted to spend as much time at Ambers’ house as possible. Or at least I did. It would give me an excuse to not talk to James.

There was a knock on the door and I answer it, assuming it would be Amber forgetting her key. Instead it was the last person I expected or wanted. James was standing there holding two plates, coffee dripping from his hair.

I stifled a laugh, “what are you doing James?”

“thought you might like some breakfast. Also, Amber kicked me out of the breakroom.”

An image of Amber pouring hot coffee on James flashed through my head. “why?”

“something about me being a jerk-face.” I can’t help but think that’s my fault. I did tell her what happened that day, so she must not want to talk to him now. “Plus, it seemed like they needed some alone time.”

“I’m not hungry,” I tell him, even though that food looked delicious since I hadn’t eaten much after the plane ride.

“nonsense. You need to eat something before we leave.”

There was a small pause between the two of us while I eyed the two plates. They both had a waffle and eggs. Though one had bacon and the other didn’t.

“why is there a plate without bacon?”

James looks at me confused, “um, you only eat fish that you catch yourself. Other than that you’re vegetarian.” He states matter-of-factly.

A smile spreads across my face but quickly disappears. I didn’t want him to see how happy I was. “I started eating meat in high school.”

“oh.” He sounded disappointed. Like he wished he were there for those years.

This is one of the reasons I couldn’t stand being around him. He acted all nice to me as if it fixes everything. But at the same time, he hasn’t given up his player status. I just want him to be James Watson, the boy I fell in love with. “What I said last night I did mean…” he trails off nervously. Obviously not willing to say those two words again.

“James, I know. But that doesn’t even come close to fixing all the stuff you did to me.”

“but-”

I put my arm up to close the door. James, though, puts his arm up to block it. Now balancing two plates with one hand. “I don’t care what you say Selena, you need to eat something.” He pauses for a moment, gathering together his thoughts. “I wasn’t there when you needed someone, needed me in high school. But I’m definitely not letting you fall into depression again. It hurt me too much to see you like that.” He mumbled the last part, so I could barely here it.

“what do you mean by that last comment?” I ask hesitantly. Do I really want to know the answer to this?

“I skipped classes, took the longer paths, and pretty much did anything and everything I could to avoid you in high school. I hated watching you on a daily basis, seeing how hurt you were and knowing that I was the one who caused your pain. But I was too afraid to walk up to you. I guess I didn’t want to be told what I already knew. I tried to go on everyday as if nothing happened, but every time I saw you it was painful for me. I hated seeing you that way. So I just made sure I never saw you.” his voice was barely above a whisper but I heard every last word.

“I don’t know what you want James. Just please, leave me out of it this time.” I shut the door and lean against it, letting out the breath I was holding. I’m not quite sure whether I should hate him more for his confession just then, or feel bad for him. It’s not like his reasoning for ignoring me is any better than what he did to hurt me. who in their right mind knowingly ignores someone because watching that person causes them pain? What the hell does that even mean? My crying made him want to cry? The guy’s seriously going to be the death of me.

I swear I heard James say “I want you” before he left. But I must have heard him wrong.

Because I know James Watson would never want me again.
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