Fear of Pain
The beginning
Daelyn’s Point of View
If love is all it’s cracked up to be, then why is hard to be in a relationship filled with “love”? I take a deep breath. Love sucks! It’s not all fun and colorful and shit. It’s painful, and evidently wicked.
“Daelyn?” a sweet, familiar voice calls. Crap, I think to myself.
“What?” I turn to my best friend Kylie.
“Fricken’ Katiey!” she explodes. Katiey, my twin sister, is a pain in the ass. “Your sis is a bitch! She’s tryin’ to take my spot as Erin’s apprentice! I don’t get how you two are related. And, talkin’ ‘bout people in your life, your stupid boyfriend called me a whore!”
“Well…” I say and shrug
“What!” she gets defensive.
“Chill! I’m just sayin’ that givin’ blow jobs to all the boys on the football and baseball team doesn’t exactly help the whole I’m-not-a-whore-look.” I giggle, as her face turns darker than her lipstick.
“What the hell! I... I… Shut up!” she turns another shade darker when who should show up?
“Zack! What the hell! Kylie isn’t a whore!” I look him straight in the eyes. His eyes are cold and hard, I hate when he does this because he can stay in this mood longer than I can stay mad at him. Now we go back to the whole “Love Sucks!”
“Daelyn. Don’t try, you can’t win.” Zack’s voice is as cold and hard as his eyes. I’m not going to give up. This is important.
“No” I say sternly through my clenched jaw.
“It-it doesn’t matter! I don’t care! Its really nothin’.” Kylie says in her please-don’t-fight-over-me voice.
“No” I say again. “He shouldn’t have fricken’ called you a whore!” I’m still staring him down when he does something I would have never expected. He-he…apologizes.
“Sorry” he unclenches his jaw a tad. He looks at Kylie. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a whore,” He says in his I’m-pissed-but-acting-sweet voice. I give him a look that says ‘I don’t believe your shit’. He replies by rolling his eyes and sighing.
“Babe…” he sounds exhausted and very pissed. “I-“
“Don’t ‘Babe’ me!” I cut him off. “I’ve had a pretty bad fricken’ day and I run into Kylie and she tells me you called her a whore!” he makes his expression blank. He takes a step toward me, Kylie steps back, so do I. For half a second his face is a mixture of pain and confusion. Only I see it. His expression is blank once again. This is total BS! Kylie sits on the curb in front of us; we’re in front of a park that we have to pass to get home. We all live in the same neighborhood, Kylie lives right next door to me, but Zack lives at the other end of the block. “Where’s your boyfriend?” I ask with a snarl.
“Out. I know you don’t like him so I told him and the boys to go to the mall and scope out chicks” his expression still blank.
“I like Garrett. I just don’t like when you have your whole fricken’ posse with you!” I cross my arms and continue to stare him down. “This has been goin’ on for too long! Choose now, and choose wisely. Me, or... them” I say in disgusts. A minute passes… two… thr-
“You” he whispers, barely audible.
“Excuse me?” I ask, trying not to flip that he chose me.
“You” he says again, louder this time, almost shouts it. He quickly closes the space between us and grabs my hips. “I want you. I always will. Don’t you ever think that I won’t.” Before I can react he kisses me. His kiss is hard but sweet. Our bodies fit together perfectly, when we kiss its as if we can’t get close enough to each other. I lose track of time. Two seconds? Two minutes? I have no clue. Apparently this was a longer one because Kylie stands up, and intentionally clears her throat loudly. After a few seconds of no response from us, she starts tapping her foot quickly.
“Excuse me, love birds, but ima go if y’all are gonna keep this up.” She stands there, tapping her foot with crossed arms.
“Yes ma’am” Zack says pulling away from me and giving Kylie a mocking salute with his favorite finger. I playfully slap him.
“You ass!” I laugh.
“Well duh! You picked him” Kylie joins in on the playful laughter. Zack’s face gets red with embarrassment and frustration.
“Hey y’all!” we all jump.
“You scared the crap outta me!” Kylie laughs at her boyfriend Leonard.
“Ya’ll shoulda’ told meh’ ya’ was havin’ a make out session.” Kylie blushes at her 5’11”, blue eyed, brunet hunk. He is seriously gorgeous. I mean, so is Zack but Leo is drop dead sexy! I can’t complain because Zack looks like Leonardo DiCaprio if his hair is short. It was funny because when we were all freshmen, Zack and I were in the school play The Titanic. He was Jack, and I was rose. Though I don’t look like her at all. I’m 5’9 ½ ” with green eyes and dark brown hair.
“I woulda’ if ya’ had a phone.” Kylie says as she and Leo hug and give a ‘Hello’ kiss.
“Can’t get a phone if ya’ don’t have a job, suga’ pie.”
“I know hunny, I know.” We all have jobs except Leo, who works on his Uncle’s farm and is too busy for a paying job. Both he and Zack are on the football team, which pays a little money, but not much. My Zack is lucky number 8. And Leo is number 12, Kylie’s lucky number. We all hang out together, except when Zack and his posse are together. A few of them are cool, like Garrett and Skielar, but most are dicks.
“I told you, I want you.” Zack whispers in my ear. How the hell-? Then I notice my hands are clenched and I’m breathing heavy. I turn and kiss him. Kylie and Leo are already making out. It’s what we do.
I love you, I think. I love you so much. Zack moans, agreeing with me.
If love is all it’s cracked up to be, then why is hard to be in a relationship filled with “love”? I take a deep breath. Love sucks! It’s not all fun and colorful and shit. It’s painful, and evidently wicked.
“Daelyn?” a sweet, familiar voice calls. Crap, I think to myself.
“What?” I turn to my best friend Kylie.
“Fricken’ Katiey!” she explodes. Katiey, my twin sister, is a pain in the ass. “Your sis is a bitch! She’s tryin’ to take my spot as Erin’s apprentice! I don’t get how you two are related. And, talkin’ ‘bout people in your life, your stupid boyfriend called me a whore!”
“Well…” I say and shrug
“What!” she gets defensive.
“Chill! I’m just sayin’ that givin’ blow jobs to all the boys on the football and baseball team doesn’t exactly help the whole I’m-not-a-whore-look.” I giggle, as her face turns darker than her lipstick.
“What the hell! I... I… Shut up!” she turns another shade darker when who should show up?
“Zack! What the hell! Kylie isn’t a whore!” I look him straight in the eyes. His eyes are cold and hard, I hate when he does this because he can stay in this mood longer than I can stay mad at him. Now we go back to the whole “Love Sucks!”
“Daelyn. Don’t try, you can’t win.” Zack’s voice is as cold and hard as his eyes. I’m not going to give up. This is important.
“No” I say sternly through my clenched jaw.
“It-it doesn’t matter! I don’t care! Its really nothin’.” Kylie says in her please-don’t-fight-over-me voice.
“No” I say again. “He shouldn’t have fricken’ called you a whore!” I’m still staring him down when he does something I would have never expected. He-he…apologizes.
“Sorry” he unclenches his jaw a tad. He looks at Kylie. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a whore,” He says in his I’m-pissed-but-acting-sweet voice. I give him a look that says ‘I don’t believe your shit’. He replies by rolling his eyes and sighing.
“Babe…” he sounds exhausted and very pissed. “I-“
“Don’t ‘Babe’ me!” I cut him off. “I’ve had a pretty bad fricken’ day and I run into Kylie and she tells me you called her a whore!” he makes his expression blank. He takes a step toward me, Kylie steps back, so do I. For half a second his face is a mixture of pain and confusion. Only I see it. His expression is blank once again. This is total BS! Kylie sits on the curb in front of us; we’re in front of a park that we have to pass to get home. We all live in the same neighborhood, Kylie lives right next door to me, but Zack lives at the other end of the block. “Where’s your boyfriend?” I ask with a snarl.
“Out. I know you don’t like him so I told him and the boys to go to the mall and scope out chicks” his expression still blank.
“I like Garrett. I just don’t like when you have your whole fricken’ posse with you!” I cross my arms and continue to stare him down. “This has been goin’ on for too long! Choose now, and choose wisely. Me, or... them” I say in disgusts. A minute passes… two… thr-
“You” he whispers, barely audible.
“Excuse me?” I ask, trying not to flip that he chose me.
“You” he says again, louder this time, almost shouts it. He quickly closes the space between us and grabs my hips. “I want you. I always will. Don’t you ever think that I won’t.” Before I can react he kisses me. His kiss is hard but sweet. Our bodies fit together perfectly, when we kiss its as if we can’t get close enough to each other. I lose track of time. Two seconds? Two minutes? I have no clue. Apparently this was a longer one because Kylie stands up, and intentionally clears her throat loudly. After a few seconds of no response from us, she starts tapping her foot quickly.
“Excuse me, love birds, but ima go if y’all are gonna keep this up.” She stands there, tapping her foot with crossed arms.
“Yes ma’am” Zack says pulling away from me and giving Kylie a mocking salute with his favorite finger. I playfully slap him.
“You ass!” I laugh.
“Well duh! You picked him” Kylie joins in on the playful laughter. Zack’s face gets red with embarrassment and frustration.
“Hey y’all!” we all jump.
“You scared the crap outta me!” Kylie laughs at her boyfriend Leonard.
“Ya’ll shoulda’ told meh’ ya’ was havin’ a make out session.” Kylie blushes at her 5’11”, blue eyed, brunet hunk. He is seriously gorgeous. I mean, so is Zack but Leo is drop dead sexy! I can’t complain because Zack looks like Leonardo DiCaprio if his hair is short. It was funny because when we were all freshmen, Zack and I were in the school play The Titanic. He was Jack, and I was rose. Though I don’t look like her at all. I’m 5’9 ½ ” with green eyes and dark brown hair.
“I woulda’ if ya’ had a phone.” Kylie says as she and Leo hug and give a ‘Hello’ kiss.
“Can’t get a phone if ya’ don’t have a job, suga’ pie.”
“I know hunny, I know.” We all have jobs except Leo, who works on his Uncle’s farm and is too busy for a paying job. Both he and Zack are on the football team, which pays a little money, but not much. My Zack is lucky number 8. And Leo is number 12, Kylie’s lucky number. We all hang out together, except when Zack and his posse are together. A few of them are cool, like Garrett and Skielar, but most are dicks.
“I told you, I want you.” Zack whispers in my ear. How the hell-? Then I notice my hands are clenched and I’m breathing heavy. I turn and kiss him. Kylie and Leo are already making out. It’s what we do.
I love you, I think. I love you so much. Zack moans, agreeing with me.