What will it take to show you this isn't the life it seems.

Hearing the gentle hum of the car I gazed mindlessly out of the car window, rain was slowly sliding down the glass almost dancing to a non-existent rhythm. My dad had been driving for what seemed an eternity and what had made it worse was that eternity had been a silent one, it was almost like we had both ran out of words or perhaps we had given up trying to resemble anything close to a functional family. Since the accident we hadn’t resembled a family at all, my dad would spend most of his time working or shut away in the garage and I would draw in my room trying to phase out of reality.

Exactly a month ago my dad had lost his job so here we were moving across the country, perhaps this is what we needed . . . a fresh start, the chance to not necessarily forget the past but to try and move on. Our destination was a place named Belleville New Jersey; I didn’t know much about the area except it was going to be nothing like our home in California, but maybe that would be a good thing. I wouldn’t have to see her everywhere I turned, I wouldn’t get the painful memories when left alone in my own house, I wouldn’t be filled with an uncontrollable sense of panic and despair whenever I was forced to go down to the cross-roads on 34th Street.

It took about another mile or so after seeing the sign welcoming us to Belleview for our car to come to a halt outside a simple looking house hidden behind years of overgrown ivy and leaves. My dad got out meeting the removal van that must have arrived shortly before us, for some reason I wasn’t quite ready to step outside of the car instead I gazed out of the window and tried to take in what was now our new home, well perhaps home was a little premature house was more accurate.

The street wasn’t anything fancy or extravagant it was simple yet surprisingly welcoming. I could see a sign for a park just at the end of the street beyond a row of terrace housing and cobbled pavement. Back home i spent most of my time at the beach, watching the waves crash against the shore and wash away the sand, now i guessed i would have to make do with sitting on the grass watching the clouds pass me by, drawing and attempting to escape reality.

It didn’t take long for all of our stuff to be put into the house, if truth be told we didn’t own an awful amount just what we needed. My room simply held a double bed, bedside stable, wardrobe and a desk that was somehow already covered in scraps of paper and art supplies even though all of my clothes were still in their boxes The only other item that had found its way onto display was a silver picture frame decorated with small butterfly's; behind the glass a simple photograph of a blonde woman smiling down at a little girl on her lap, it was about the best picture i had of me and my mother and was safely my most treasured possession.

After doing a final few flicks though my room i made my way downstairs, there was a box of pizza on the side and my dad was waiting for me at the table. He looked surprisingly lonely and i felt my heart go out to him, although we didn't speak about it i knew he missed my mum as much as me even if he tried his best to show me he was strong. Putting a couple slices on my plate i made my way over and sat next to him, no words where exchanged between us instead we sat in an almost accepted silence. Clearing my throat i asked my dad if i could explore the area for a bit, after a moment of huffing and puffing he agreed but warned me to be careful as it was a new place and not to go more then a block away.

Hunting out a light black jacket out of my room I applied a new layer of eyeliner and took a moment to take in my appearance, I wasn’t particularly a beautiful girl . . . I didn’t have the long blonde hair that most teenagers wanted or the smouldering eyes I was normal. I had long dark hair feathered lightly to frame my face, my eyes weren’t a vivid blue or stunning green instead they were a simple brown, not even hazel although if I was lucky sometimes in the sunlight a thin golden hint would appear at the edges. I had a small hoop through my lip something that my father hated but at the time my mother had approved of so he had let it be, apart from that there was nothing astonishing about the way I looked, I wasn’t the kind of girl that made guys do a double take in fact they tended to do no take at all.

Making sure to grab a key on my way out I took my first steps outside the front door, it was just approaching dusk so the sky was still light and a gentle warm breeze greeted me as I made my way up the path. There was no one in the street except for a woman trying to convince what seemed like a very stubborn three year old to get into his car seat, apart from that it seemed almost tranquil and surreal. I had only ever lived in one house my entire life so this was almost a foreign experience, but one that I now welcomed all I had wanted for the past six months was to disappear and finally this was my chance.

At the end of my garden I breathed in the comforting smell of lavender, from the neighbour’s hedge and smiled lightly to myself as it reminded me of the way my mother’s hair used to smell it was something that I missed more than I had realised. Looking around once more I spotted the sign for the park once more and began to head towards it, it took no more than five minutes for the green field to come into view. A small pay area was situated at the side filled with two swings, a slide and some form of jungle gym cross monkey bars. At the back was a row of tree’s that lightly shaded a grassy area overlooking the whole park.

Sitting underneath the biggest tree’s I began to let my mind wonder, this was always a little dangerous as I never knew where it would end up and there was always the chance I would accidently envision those bright lights coming towards me and the high pitched scream . . . a scream that I would never forget that to this day still woke me in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat.

Once again survey the area I noticed a group of boys entering the park, from what I could see there where about 5 of them but they were still too far to see any detail. Slowly they made their way to the back of the park but to the opposite side to me, they seemed about my age and where all dressed in similar clothing. Band t-shirts and jeans mainly consisting of black, to be honest they weren’t that far off how I was dressed except I was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a bright red strap top and the jacket I had hunted out before I left which vaguely resembled an army coat.

From what I could see of them they seemed rather normal, it was difficult trying to figure them out without being caught, the last thing i wanted was for them to think i was some freak who had come to the park in order to stalk them with my stare. I mainly kept to myself and gazed into the distance and immersed into my own little world.

I only snapped out of it when I heard yelling, “Gerard no fair, you always decide what we watch! Can’t we choose something that doesn't involve the world being taken over by a zombie apocalypse or something?,” It was a lanky boy with mousy brown hair and thick rimmed glassed, he appeared to be talking to a guy with black hair, I couldn’t see much though as his back was towards me, “No my dear little brother we are watching the end of the world . . . after all we need to be prepared for when the zombies actually do take over,” I couldn’t help but smirk a little at the boys comment as I was a firm believer in always having a zombie apocalypse plan, it was something silly me and my old best friend had thought of.

All of a sudden the boys got up and started to head towards the exit, it was then I got my first glimpse of the boy who I could only presume was Gerard, it was only then that I got a glimpse of his piercing hazel eyes and mischievous expression, it was strange my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat and settle into an unfamiliar flutter. I looked at him curiously from the safety of the tree but then it happened, he suddenly noticed me and after what felt like an eternity of him curiously looking over a look of almost anger took over his face and he turned his head from mine and began to walk away with the group of boys. I sat there puzzled for a few moments unsure if what I had seen really took place, I then began to reason with myself after all I didn’t know this boy and he had no reason to hate me, perhaps he had the sun in his eyes . . . his beautiful hazel eyes.