What will it take to show you this isn't the life it seems.

Still feeling slightly confused i made my way back to my house, yet again the familiar lavender scent greeted me as i made my way towards the threshold. It couldn't have been more then 9 o'clock by this time but already my dad was passed out on the sofa, the effort he has made to make the house presentable was more then visible. Softly smiling to myself i rummaged through some of the last few boxes until i found 'the snuggler' as my mother used to affectionately call it, she had knitted it just before i was born. Shaking out the creases i placed it lightly over him making sure to tuck around the edges.

"Night, sweet dreams" i said in a soft whisper.

I slowly and quietly made my way up to my bedroom . . . well the room i slept in i thought i should refer to it as for now. The walls where cold and white and made everything look a little too surgical, my posters from my bedroom in California had all been tattered beyond repair so i made the difficult decision to throw them in the skip and buy some new ones when i reached Belleville; The Misfits, Greenday, The smashing Pumpkins, Iron Maiden and Muse where among some of the bands i favored anyone who could sit and actually enjoy people such as 50cent and The Pussycat dolls amazed me there was no real passion behind there so called music, and after all wasn't passion what music was all about plus the ability to make you feel something.

Changing into my batman pajama bottoms and a plain black strap top i slowly climbed under my covers and began to hug my pillow, taking a deep breath i let my eyes fall shut and a wave of sleep overtake me after all i still had a lot to unpack in the morning and i doubted just using . . . well attempting to use the power of my mind would be able to sort everything into its rightful place.

The faint hum of Shania Twain was playing on the stereo and we where both singing along trying to stop ourselves from laughing at how ridiculous we sounded, that's what i loved about my mother the most, her ability to bring fun into every situation. We were on our way to 39th street to pick up my birthday cake. A Red velvet creation covered in chocolate frosting it was the cake of my dreams. Everything had seemed so perfect lately for once there were no arguments in my house, i was getting good grades, i hadn't even been called a freak for at least last week or stuffed in a locker, there must have been something in the air that was making everything so right. . . and whatever it was i was enjoying it.

"Darling can you reach behind and grab my phone out my bag, i should really let your father know where we have gone," she said with a warming tone.

My father had been working nights for the past few weeks so was still fast asleep in bed when we left the house, my mum always hated to wake him up when she knew how hard he was working to support us.

"Sure thing," i smiled and began to reach behind me.

That's when it all happened, the sound of my mothers horn the glare from a speeding cars headlights and finally her scream. . . a blood curdling scream . . . then there was nothing

"Scarlette . . . Scarlette . . . Honey wake-up . . . Please come on . . . your safe . . . shh honey,"

I woke up startled to find a light stream of cool tears running down my face and i was shaking, it didn't take me long to remember what i had been dreaming about and that's when i felt the fresh tears forming behind my eyes. I know most people would tell me 'Its only a dream' but it wasn't that had actually happened to me and now i was left to deal with what was left.

Looking up at my dad i could see the pain reflected in his eyes, it amazed me how strong he had been through the whole of this. No matter how many times i had been woken up by that same dream of her and those last few moments in the cat, he would still come running in to wake sure i was okay and reassure me everything was going to be okay.

Wrapping my arms around him i gave him a brief hug in gratitude, my throat was feeling tender from screaming out in terror. Giving me a light kiss on the forehead me began to make his way out of my bedroom to leave me in peace. He tried his best to understand the horror i experienced and the pain of dreaming about it but somehow i don't think he was ever able. He was still in his own state of grief and it never felt appropriate to express to him how i felt that wasn't the kind of bond we had instead we just sorted of existed with our hidden pain and attempted to put a brave face on it.

Looking out of the window to the left side of my bed i saw the sun slowly rising in the sky and decided to admit defeat, getting back to sleep would be near impossible and i knew i had a lot to accomplish today. Stretching out as far as my body would let me i yawned deeply and wiped the last few tears from my cheeks . . . right time to conquer the world i thought to myself . . . well okay maybe not the world but my bedroom was going to take a while.