Sweet Insanity

Elise stared at Ben, her arms folding over her chest as the cool breeze slipped through the fabric of her jacket. It was almost astonishing, how proud he was of himself, how self-confident and cocky he was, but she still felt as if it was an act. In session she felt as if she had gotten absolutely nowhere with him. When their Therapy Leader told them to get to know one another, it had to do with why there were here, not what they did for a living.

“Ben,” she finally stated, “How about you tell me about you. No offense but I don’t care about your little hardcore band, or how amazing your life is. Congrats, you’re a famous musician, big deal…that doesn’t cover up the fact that you’re in rehab. If you keep walking on the path that landed you here you could very possibly lose everything you just explained to me earlier.” Elise had spoken more than she had wanted to, but it was necessary. Now she just waited for his reply.

“Ya’know, I don’t quite understand what you’re getting at. I am at rehab simply because my mates think I am a drunk. No biggie!” He laughed, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Elise lowered his eyes at him, he was difficult to crack.

“It is obviously a big deal if they sent you here, what did you get, some sort of ultimatum or did they just tell you that you needed to go here?” It wasn’t like her to get involved in the personal lives of others, but for some reason the fact that he wasn’t letting anything out was beginning to irritate her. After all, she had told him what landed herself in this hell whole, and suicide was far more embarrassing than alcohol, so she thought.

Ben stared down at Elise, his hands reaching up to the holes where his piercings evidently used to be on the left side of his mouth, before letting out a long sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know how to stand here and tell you why I am stuck in this madhouse with my best mate. Danny has been doing some intense drugs, and he drinks more booze than anything, and he is my best friend. I just fell right alongside him. I suppose it fills that empty void for the both of us.”

Elise looked at him with a puzzled expression, slightly shocked that he had opened up. “What do you mean void? Danny prances around here like he is the Lord and that he has the best life that anyone has ever ceased to live. How can you be unhappy?”

A chuckle fell from Ben’s mouth as he thought about her words. “Don’t get me wrong, we live amazing lives. There are so many people that would love to be in our position. A rock star, access to loads of alcohol, touring the world, lots of women, but it doesn’t make anything less lonely. I suppose he and I just want to find someone. I mean, out of all of our mates, we are the only ones that sleep around. It’s quite pathetic when you think about it. I find some sleaze women after a show and fuck her senseless just to get myself off. Is that not depressing? The more I drink, the more I forget about it, if that makes sense.”

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, Elise nodded, his words playing over and over again in her head. She didn’t understand how someone who had everything they ever dreamed could be so unhappy at the same time. It was like they were temporarily happy, until they had to face reality. Once their high, or buzz, had disappeared, they were back to being alone.
“It makes perfect sense, I’m so sorry.” Her voice was but a whisper, because in a sense she could relate.

“My parents were the only people who ever made me feel important. I was their little girl, and after they died, I felt like I didn’t matter to anyone. I understand how unbearable the sense of feeling lonely can be.”

She hadn’t even noticed Ben was no longer beside her until a small ball of ice smacked her against the hand. “Really,” she laughed as she shook the cold ice from her skin, “I don’t feel like that was the least bit acceptable.”

“It was just a way of breaking the tension, Elise, calm down! Live a little, why don’t you!” Ben grinned, leaning down to scoop up another handful of snow. “What do you say we extend this little fight, eh? Let’s go find Danny and Carson, it’d be much more fun that way.”
Once Ben had fetched Danny, and she had fetched Carson, Elise could do nothing but think about what her roommate had told her only moments ago. Danny of all people had been looking for her. Is he stupid? She didn’t know whether she was amused with the fact that he was on a quest to find her, or if she was irritated with it. Either way, it was stuck in her head.

Now she stood in the recreational area of Brooke Hollow, watching as Ben claimed Carson as his teammate, only to leave her stuck with Danny. It can only go down from here, she thought as she made her way towards the ginger man.

“Can we please be civil?” Danny asked, a sour tone coating his words, “I don’t want to lose, especially to that curly-haired faggot that I call my best friend.” Elise raised her eyebrow as she fixated herself beside him.

“We will be civil as long as you can attempt to respect me while we are out here. Either way, I would like to ask you something when this is all over with, deal?”

With a small sigh, Danny nodded his head in agreement. “Now let’s wreck their fucking lives.”

Before you knew it, Brooke Hollow Rehabilitation Center’s courtyard had become a battleground. Balls of snow flew left and right, smashing against Carson, Ben, Danny, and Elise as hard as they could manage. Elise stood behind Danny, allowing him to block her from getting hit as she quickly fashioned a small stash of snowballs behind them. She watched carefully as Ben and Carson attacked, showing no mercy. In the end, they were defeated.

“I can’t feel my hands!” Elise moaned as she tried to breathe on them. Carson laughed as she shook the snow from her boots. “This was worthless!”

“It wasn’t completely worthless, you and Danny just got destroyed by Ben and I, it’s no big deal.” Carson winked, placing her hands into her jacket pocket. “Anyway, I think I am going to go get some hot chocolate with Ben, would you like to join?”

After thinking about how delicious hot cocoa sounded, Elise shook her head no. “I was going to talk to Danny…” her voice trailed off as she realized he was no longer in the courtyard, “no, I think I am just going to head back to the room. I’m tired and cold.”

With a quirked eyebrow Carson nodded, and then joined Ben at his side. Elise watched as they disappeared back inside the building. The cold nipped at her as she hurried back inside. Several thoughts swam inside of her head as she wondered why Danny has just disappeared. By the time she reached her room, she decided that it no longer mattered. She should have seen it coming anyway. All she wanted to do was change and curl up in bed to sleep the rest of the day away.