Darling I Do

He brushed the hair from my face as I said softly, and a little regrettably, "I need to go." He leaned in and kissed my forehead., "Bye." I got out of the car and watched it turn and leave.

The shadow man wasn't outside anymore, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't want to see him. Not now. The misery that as in my heart resurfaces when I saw him sitting casually on my ottoman in the corner of my apartment. His face, stern and unblinking.

"Olivia tells me you have a new beau." He says eerily.

"I didn't think she would talk about me." I tried to keep calm. After all this time, with run-ins at Quinn's Cafe and at The University of Brimbond, this was the first time we were alone and not in public. I force myself to not shudder, and hoped he would leave as quickly as he came.

"She doesn't." His once bright blue eyes, now cold and malicious, settled on me, "Usually." With that he stood up and glided towards me. I looked at the shabby grey carpet, novelling in its dust, restricting myself from looking at him. His rough hand grabbed my chin brought my face to his. His rough dry lips came forcefully on mine, and no matter how hard I pushed to break him off of me, his strong arms latched on to me, and his fingers dug deep in to the crevices on my back. The soft tone of Oliver's fingers on my skin, the way his lips felt on mine, were shattered, on the floor of my grubby, dusty gray carpet.

And something went off, either in my brain, or in my nerves. The thought that he took away something so nice, jumpstarted the nerve to kick him in the shin. The moment he felt the pain, he let go of me and I ran. He chased me down the hall, and just when he could have caught me, I was in the bathroom with the door locked.

"You bitch!" He slammed his fist on the door, again and again.

"Unlock the damn door and get the fuck out here" And again, he pounded on the door.

I crouched in a corner of the bathroom, tears running down my face. It was back, that horrible pain. In my fetal position, I heard the mutters and swears coming from the other side of the door. I heard the
lighter click and a breath of air. And after a hour of drying my tears on the towel hanging, my ear pressed on the door listening for ominous sounds, I stepped out.

I didn't want to feel happy anymore.

But the note on the wall only made me feel more misery.

Do not see that asshole anymore.
-Liam

His English was spot on, like it should be, as he was a Literacy major. Although, I broke up with him many weeks before. He didn't leave me alone. He was always there, just to crush any welcomed happiness. He was a tick that continued to suck the blood he forced out of my body, on numerous occasions.

And even though I wanted to keep seeing Oliver, I knew the capabilities of Liam. If he was able to inflict pain on me, it wouldn't take more than a second to hurt him.

This was why, why I hated my life so much.

~*~

Oliver seemed to notice. For a week I tried to avoid him. My heart was scarred, there was no way I could let him hurt Oliver. I couldn't explain it to him. I couldn't talk to him, now that I knew Olivia was feeding information to him. Honestly, I sound like I'm in a spy movie.

"Char?"

I looked up from my lunch and was surprised to see Chloe hovering over me. Noticing I wasn't going to say anything, she breathed her words "Can I talk to you?"

"Okay." I patted the empty patch of grass next to me.

She smiled slightly. "You've always liked sitting out here."

"Why are you talking to me?" I said without thinking. Suddenly I felt bad, she did make the effort to come here.

She brushed her blond fringe from her face and looked straight through me. She always could do that, look straight through people and understand everything they were going through. It was uncomfortable. Although I should be used to her stares, since we were friends from grade school. But since she left to be better friends with Olivia, now it only felt like she was trying to get a hold of more secrets.

"It's about Liam." The name made me shiver and I inhaled air too quickly. She looked at me and looked at me with pity. "I know he was at your house three days ago." She paused and tried but failed to suppress a guilty look. "He overheard Olivia and I talking about Oliver. He stormed in and asked Olivia so many questions. He looked so scary."

"I don't get what you're trying to say. That it's your fault that I'm still being hurt."

"No. Why would you say that." She looked so surprised and guilty. "It's just that, I can't see why Olivia is still in a relationship with the scumbag."

"I wouldn't know."

"But there was a reason you stayed with him, right."

I stuffed my empty tinfoil in the garbage and stood up. Looking at her straight in the eye, and forced words I wasn't able to truly believe. "That was before he used me as a punching bag and cheated on me with my then best friend."

I turned away and walked out of campus to my job.

As I walked through the doors of Avonigh Books, the cold air with the musky scent of old books greeted me as a fellow friend. My boss comes out of his office and waves for me in.

Inside his office, he begins to speak about the new shipment coming today.

"So I need to go to the docks, and I need you to stay here until closing time at 9. Lock the door and put the keys in the cubby in the wall."

"Sure Mr.Pratt." He waves me a final goodbye and takes his coat and leaves.

The shop is quiet, except for a few customers rustling through the shelves for a good book. I ring a few books and give customers some advice on some good reads but other than that, I read my own book I borrowed. A few hours later and the shop is empty. It's not near closing time as it's only 6. The bell on the door rings once. I let the new customer look for his book.

"How much is that book?"

I look up to see this was. He has a scarf over his mouth. His eyes are covered with shades. The only feature I can see is his dark brown hair.

"Which one?" I look to see if he is holding out any books. But there is none.

"The one right there."

He pointed towards the one on my lap.

"I can't let you have this one."

"Why not, it is from the store isn't it?"

"But, I'm reading it." I say with a definate tone. What is he playing at?

"So?"

"So it means choose another book."

"But I want that one."

He wasn't about to back down, and with the way this conversation was going, my boss wasn't going to be happy if he hears about the bad customer service I was doing. I start to ring up the book, but he stops me.

"I was kidding." He takes of his shades and I see his green eyes. As he was taking of his scarf, I see his scruffy stubble.

" I remember you telling me about this place. You were right, you choose the most desolate and boring places to work." Oliver says as he takes a look around the store.

"Not true at all." A smile escapes from me. "Why are you here?"

He backs away and asks, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Oliver, that's not --"

"You wouldn't even look in my direction."

I desperately wanted to say everything. From my abusive ex-boyfriend, to my ex-best friends, my family, my fucked up life. But I didn't. He waited for an explanation, and I couldn't give him one.

"I thought you were different. I thought you weren't like all the other girls who throw themselves at guys. I thought you were a person I could love." My eyes widened in astonish. No one. No one had said that regarding me. He covered both his hands with his face and finally said, " Look how messed up I sound. I'm fucking whipped. I've never made a fool out of myself in front of a girl, but with you it's happens like that. I can't even say words right or act right in front of you. I sound like a fucking pussy. And you, you're just sitting there. And you're not even looking at me, not even now."

"Oliver, I--"

"No, really. Just save it. I mean, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, or whatever I didn't do, I'm sorry. Bye Charlotte." He sauntered away.

The bell on the door rang, for the last time, and I dissolved into tears.