Memory Lapse

Only a little more than a month passed and already I was starting to show a little. A tiny bump was starting to form but that could have just been all the food I was eating. It was like I had to eat at least once every hour. It was so gross. Luckily I was at the Cullens' most of the time and Nessie sure knew how to cook.
"Lizzy's got a baby belly," Emmett teased as I was eating a tub of cookie dough ice cream and peanut butter. Yes, I know it sounds absolutely disgusting but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Shut the fuck up," I snapped between spoonsful.
Emmett laughed. "You know that I'm just messin' with you." He pulled me into a one-armed hug. I pitifully pushed against his chest, still mad at him for making fun of my baby bump. My knee jerked up right between his legs. He flinched enough for me slide away from his steel grip.
“Leave me alone, Em. I hate being fat.”
"You're a lot smaller than I was when I was this far along," Bella tried to comfort me.
"Yeah but your kid is half-vampire and grows a million times faster than possible. She's like three and acts my age."
Reneesme giggled and sat on the chair next to me after successfully shoving Emmett away from his spot at my side. "You know, Auntie Lizzy, I think my cousin is going to be absolutely adorable. Are you going to let me babysit them?"
"Nessie, you're only three," I teased.
She stuck her lower lip out in a pout. "Aunt Lizzy," she whined. "I can act older than three."
I laughed at her. "Honey, you're whining. I'd say you act like a three-year-old."
She pouted while I just laughed more. After half a second she figured out that I was kidding and she started laughing with me. "So you'll let me watch your baby?"
I shrugged easily. "Sure. If you're ever in Vegas you can be the babysitter. You watch my kid while I go drown myself in booze."
Bella glared daggers at me. “Liz,” she said warningly.
I gave a half smile. “Kidding, Bells. Ness, you can babysit if you’re down in Las Vegas so I can get some rest. Maybe I’ll just take you to live down there with me so I’m not doing this alone. You’re gonna be my backup.”
She giggled and pulled me into a hug then bounced off like Alice would. I smiled at her but my mind was elsewhere. I wasn’t really going to take Nessie to Vegas with me. I was mostly thinking about what the hell I would do if I couldn't get Jacob back. The simple thought brought tears to my eyes, but I wouldn't let them escape.
"You know you can't think like that," Edward said suddenly.
I glanced up, wiping frantically at my eyes. "Who said you could listen to my mind?" I asked dryly. He and Bella were the only ones left in the room with me so I didn't feel quite as embarrassed when my voice cracked.
"I'm just being realistic, Edward. What if I can't get him back? What if Daphney wins? What am I going to do without Jacob?"
"Oh, Lizzy," Bella sighed sympathetically. "You know that Jacob loves you. He's going to come back."
“He loved you, too, Bella. But he left when he thought he’d imprinted. Now if it’s real, do you think I’ve got a chance? The tears I'd been so desperately trying to hold back spilt over and down my cheeks. "But what am I going to do if I can't? I can barely take care of myself so how am I supposed to raise a kid?"
"Lizzy, just stay here. Stay in Forks with Charlie and we can all help you. You won't have to be alone."
"Bella, I don't know if I can do that. Do you remember why I left to begin with? I was afraid to fall in love with Jacob because something like this would happen. How much harder do you think it'll be for me to raise his kid so close without him knowing how much I love him?"
My eyes were slightly puffy when I got home. Thinking about Jacob all afternoon had really set off my tear ducts. I was really glad that Erica was out in La Push with Seth all day so no one saw how fucked up I was at the moment.
I went in and set the keys on the kitchen table then made a beeline for the bathroom. I was washing the tear tracks from my cheeks and under my eyes when the lights flicked off.
"Peek-a-boo, guess who, little Lizzy."
My breath stuck in my throat and I turned slowly, hoping that it couldn't possibly be her voice. No such luck. The little blonde vampire stood behind me, smirking. She grabbed pushed me up against the wall by my throat so that my feet were dangling off the ground.
"Miss me? It's time for some pay-back."