In Fate's Hands

120.

That's what it said.

I lowered myself from the scale and waited impatiently as the number climbed its way back down to 0. I stepped onto the scale again.

120. That's what it still said.

I sighed in frustration as I jumped off and flipped the grey monster onto its back. I fumbled with the batteries and pressed the power button a couple times hoping that that would somehow change what has already been shown on the display. Plopping the scale back in place on the bathroom floor, I stepped on once again. I entertained myself by tracing the imperfections of the marble wall with my eyes as I awaited the scrambling numbers to settle down. Inhaling a big gulp of air, I looked down, and between my feet, there it was: 120.

Rolling my eyes, I walked away from the scale towards the bathroom mirror. I examined my torso and abdominal, watching in disgust as rolls formed on my stomach when I bent down to touch my toes. I studied myself hard in the reflection, checking for any blemishes and unwanted freckles. While stretching my excess baby fat to its limits by tugging at my cheeks, I widened my eyes and made a face.

“HAHAHAHAHA.”

Looking up, I spotted my best friend Danielle in the corner of the mirror leaning against the open bathroom doorway exploding in laughter.

“Argh! Danny! Stop barging into my room like this!” I exclaimed as I searched blindly for a towel to cover myself up. It was mid-winter in Arizona, and yet all the clothing I had on were my undergarments.

Still in hysterics, Danielle pointed straight at my chest, “Man, you're fruitless.”

“SHUT UP,” I yelled, “can't you for once even try to wait patiently downstairs while I get ready? How did you get in here anyways?”

“Alright, alright, chill-ax. Your mom let me in just as she was about to head out. I waited but you were taking forever Jess, so I came to check on you. And I gotta say, that blowfish face of yours was a classic.” She was still giggling as I heard her footsteps travel further and further away from my bathroom.

When I was completely sure she was out of sight, I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater before I scanned my overall look in the bathroom mirror again.

“Blowfish,” I said at the mirror, jokingly provoking my reflection before I headed downstairs to meet Danielle.

“You know, Danny,” I started as I descended the stairs. “You really shouldn't barge into my house and just expect - -” I abruptly cut off my sentence when I saw who was standing in the middle of my living room. Danielle stood next to him, bursting at the seams with happiness. “SURPRISE!” she yelled. “LOOK WHO MOVED BACK TO ARIZONA!”

I was in utter shock. I squinted, rubbed my eyes a few times until I was finally able to clear my throat and speak. “Jon..Jonathan? Is that really you?” I whispered.

“Yep.” he replied in his now mature, deep voice. That same voice I fell in love with when I was just a young, innocent girl. Back when he would chase off the boys who bullied me, pick me up when I fell, and give me 5 second head-starts whenever we raced each other.

“It's been way too long.” He continued as he enveloped me in a hug.

When his arms wrapped around me, instead of feeling that overwhelming connection between us once again, I felt an insipid emptiness. I pushed my brows together into a muddled frown and gently pushed him away.

“Hey, hey, what's wrong?” Jonathan asked as I saw his face pull into an expression as puzzled as mine. “Aren't you happy to see me?”

“Yeah, what's wrong?” Added Danielle as she joined into our confusion.

“Uhh...” I spun away from their clueless faces and put a hand against my forehead. What IS wrong with me? Shouldn't I still be in love with him? Multiple unfamiliar thoughts began to enter my head. I don't know why I'm thinking these thoughts so dealing with them instantly is obviously out of the question. “Can I take a second?” I asked as I already began to make my way towards the stairs.

“Umm..sure..” they answered simultaneously. I can just hear that they were downright lost after witnessing my unexpected behavior.

I stormed into my room and locked the door behind me, flung myself onto my bed and buried my head deep into my pillows. My actions a couple minutes ago are now an entire blur, I have no idea what happened back there. But there is one thing that I'm absolutely certain of: Jonathan's back, and he ain't going anywhere.