You ***ing Forced Me to Say Goodbye

She was silent as the car pulled up to a motel. The man next to her held the gun against her hip, and as he parked he looked at her and spoke gently. “I’m going to get a room for us. You are not going to move. It you think about getting out of this car, I will catch you by all this pretty hair and I’ll make you wish I’d just kill you. Understand?” he asked. She nodded furiously and he slid out of the car. She watched him walk into the motel’s office.

She looked in the rearview mirror. She’d seen the black SUV following them at two car lengths since they’d left the street she’d been working. She didn’t see it now. She closed her eyes then and she started to plead with God.

Please God, if you get me through this one I promise I’ll go back to Austin’s house. I’ll let him take care of me. I’ll never do any of these things again. I’ll never take another hit or work another street corner. God I’ll go and let Austin be my dad…just please let me live through this. Please.

Her door opened and she was grabbed around her arm. She opened her eyes, being pulled out of her prayer. She hoped that it was the answer, that it was somebody pulling her out to save her. But his vicious voice filled her ears and tears filled her eyes. “Get out of the car, bitch.” He pulled her forcefully and she stumbled out of the car, nearly falling onto the pavement. He straightened her and dragged her across the parking lot towards one of the rooms. He stopped outside of one of the doors and fumbled with the key and for a moment she thought about running as fast as she could. But before the thought could be planned he had the door opened and he pushed her violently into the room. She tripped on her heels and fell forward, slamming her head into a table. She cried in pain and lay limp against an upholstered chair with eyes half closed. Just as her kidnapper shut the door she caught a glimpse of the black SUV and silently she thanked God before the room filled with darkness and she passed out.

“The girl is only 16, she’s my friend’s daughter. And I saw the guy force her into his car at gun point.”

“We’ll send someone out sir, do not leave your vehicle,” said the operator. “Do not approach the suspect or victim under any circumstances.” There was a pause and then the line went dead.

When Jana woke up her head and body ached. The room around her was hazy. She blinked a couple times to try and clear her mind. Her hands were bound to a rail above her head and she realized that she was completely naked. She blinked again and looked around the room with clearer vision. There was one bed in the room and she found that she was tied to the clothing rack across from the bathroom. She looked up and noticed she was bound with thin ropes. Panic started to return and she tried to pull lose the ropes she was bound by. She could feel them scratching away her skin and she screamed as loudly as she could, praying another guest might hear.

“There is no use in that, you little bitch. If someone calls I’ll kill you before you can be saved.” The words had her completely frozen. She hadn’t seen her attacker during her examination of the room. Now she could see him coming towards her from the darker corner of the room. He was a tall man, with a soft middle but he was not fat by any means. His black hair was gelled back, and when he was in front of her he let his lips split into a sadistic smile. His eyes were dark green and had a deepness to them that was almost captivating. As she looked at him with fear pounding in her chest she thought he could be a good looking man, if he weren’t insane. “You weren’t out very long. Barely even long enough to get you undressed and up here. You even started to come too when I put your hands up, but then you rolled out again,” he said. “It’s a good thing you woke up though. You’d be no good for me if you just hung there.” She opened her mouth to scream again and she violently fought against the ropes. She saw his face change to fury and she was instantly silenced at the feeling of a blade against her jaw. “Shut up!” He smiled then again and gently ran the tip of the blade down her throat and chest.

“Please, let me go,” she cried as he ran the knife over her breast. “Please, I have a baby. I can’t leave my baby, she’s little. She needs me. Please let me go so I can be with my baby,” she pleaded.

“Shut up!” he screamed. She started to sob then with terror. He walked away from her then. She fought against her ropes again and she pleaded with him to let her go. To take pity on her and let her go. Instantly he was behind her and he attempted to force some kind of fabric between her teeth. She fought against him, rolling her head away from the fabric he held between both hands, screaming loudly. Suddenly his hand clamped over her mouth and his put his lips close to her mouth. “If you can’t be quiet I will silence you, you little whore. So shut your fucking mouth,” he said and successfully forced the gag into her mouth and fastened it behind her head. She gave up fighting and sobbed softly against the gag.

“The police are supposed to be coming. I’m sure it’s your girl.” Austin put his fingers through his hair and he sighed. There was a certain sense of relief that came with hearing those words.

“Where are you?”

“I’m outside a motel. I called the police, I think she’s in some kind of trouble. She didn’t seem very willing to get into his car.”

“Damn it, I knew she was going to get herself hurt!”

“It’s going to be fine, man. We found her. In just a little longer the police should be here and they’ll get her home.”

“What motel is it? Where? I’m coming,” Austin said. There was hesitation. “Where are you, Rex?” he snapped.

“I don’t think you need to come, Austin. It’s going to be fine, the cops are on their way, and you don’t need any more stress than you’ve ha…”

“She is my daughter, Rex,” Austin said through his teeth. There was a sigh. “Just tell me where you are. I am coming.”

“What about the little girl? You can’t bring her here.”

“Just tell me where the fuck you are, Mike.”

“Fine,” Mike said with defeat. He gave quick directions and hung up his phone. He looked at the clock on his truck and towards the room Jana had been dragged into. It seemed to be taking a long time for the police to show up. He sighed before getting out of the truck and lighting a cigarette. The police had told him to stay put in his truck but he had a bad feeling about the man Jana had been with.

Jana could feel where the ropes she wore had run her skin raw. She hadn’t stopped crying since he’d gagged her, and she’d fought against her bindings violently when he forced himself into her. Now she hung limp from the railing, sobbing gently. He was sitting naked in a chair against the wall across from where she hung with his gun in his hand. He looked at her and grinned.

“Oh don’t cry, darling,” he said in an endearing voice. He spoke to her as if he were speaking to his lover. “It’s almost over. In a few minutes I’ll fuck you again, and maybe if your good a third and fourth time. Then I’ll kill you.” He laughed at her when she looked up at him with terrified eyes. “Such a pretty little whore.” She started to pull at the ropes again, praying she’d get away from him this time, praying they’d come free. Instantly he was on his feet with the gun pressed under her chin. She screamed against the gag that was still tied around her head and her body trembled with hysteria as she sobbed. “That’s a good girl, quiet down now,” he cooed and traced the gun down her body. She cried out then as he forced it’s barrel into her. “Hold still,” he said as if speaking to a child. She tried to stop trembling as he raped her with the barrel of a gun. “You like that? Hmm? Doesn’t it feel good?”

She nodded, hoping if she agreed he wouldn’t fire it inside her. When he pulled it out of her she let out a soft whimper of pain. He took hold of her hips then and pulled her towards himself. As he hands slid around to her bottom she started to fight against her ropes again and she screamed against her gag. She tried to plead with him but her words were badly broken up by the fabric between her teeth and tears ran from her eyes as he successfully entered her.

His thrusts against her were painful, and her wrists were bleeding by now. Her joints hurt from having her arms outstretched above her, and for the first time she wished she could just die. She hated that he insisted on torturing her first. All the men she’d worked for had made her feel cheap and sometimes dirty. But this man made her feel violated. This was more than another bruise to an already tarnished ego. This made her wish he’d just kill her. God hadn’t answered her prayer, so she knew she’d been denied his pity. She regretted having made the choice she’d made in running away from Austin the last time. So she hung limp and she cried not from being raped, but from knowing she’d not even be granted the glory of paradise after he killed her. Knowing she was not worthy.

Suddenly he stopped thrusting, frozen by fear at the sound of banging on the door. He stood mid thrust with his eyes wide and plastered to the door. Jana looked up at her bleeding wrists then and she started once again to tug at her ropes, to fight against them. Much to her surprise they seemed to finally be coming loose. The banging on the door continued and her kidnapper rushed to dress himself. He looked up at her.

“Don’t you make a fucking sound. If you make one noise I’ll shoot the person at the door and then I’ll shoot you,” he said and went to the door. As he looked through the peephole she managed to free one of her hands and she pulled the gag from her mouth as he opened the door and inhaled deeply. “What do you need?” he asked.

“I saw you come in here with a friend of mine,” said a male voice. Jana listened, and then realized it was not a voice she recognized.

“No… I’m alo…”

“Help me! Please! Help Me! Call The Police! HELP ME!” Jana screamed as loudly as she could manage, ignoring the soreness in her jaw from having held the gag between her teeth for more than an hour. “Oh God PLEASE HELP ME!” Her sobbing picked up as hysteria took over and she watched her attacker reach for his gun. “He has a gun! Watch out he has a fucking gun!” she screamed. She continued to struggle to free her hand, and she screamed as whoever was at the door tackled the kidnapper.

His gun skidded across the ground and she watched the rescuer and the attacker fight on the floor. She was waiting for police to charge into the room, and she finally managed to free her other hand and she fell to the ground. Pain shot through her body and the breath seemed to have been knocked from her lungs, but she managed to get to her hands and knees to get a running start and she took hold of the gun as the man that had been at the door broke free of the fight and ran towards her. She pointed the gun at her attacker then, with hands shaking so violently she wasn’t sure she could fire it if she had to. He rolled onto his stomach and attempted to stand up, but he froze when he saw the gun pointed at his head.

“Easy now, honey,” he said and put his hands up as he started to get to his feet.

“Stay down!” she screamed. “Stay down, you fucking insane son of a bitch. Stay down or I’ll fucking shoot your little raisin balls off!” she screamed. She didn’t even notice that she was wrapped in a jacket now, and as she sobbed the new man put his arms around her. The attacker stayed on his knees with his hands up.

“Okay, honey, put the gun down,” he said in his velvet voice. He again started to his feet.

“Stay down!” she screamed. He reached into his pocket then and drew the knife he’d threatened her with earlier in the evening and without thinking she fired. The bullets hit him in the chest and he fell over backwards, bleeding but not dead. She dropped the gun then and fell into the arms of the man holding her, sobbing violently. Together they sank onto their knees and he held her against his chest.

“It’s alright now,” he promised. For the first time she looked at his face and recognized him as the man in the black SUV.

“It’s you! I saw you…I saw you in your truck…when he picked me up…” she said. “You look so familiar.”

“I’m one of your dad’s friends,” he said. “You’ve probably seen my picture in his house or something.”

“My dad? Austin is here?” she asked with panic. She tried to cover her body then quickly.

“He is not here yet, he’s on his way I think. The police are supposed to have been here by now. Come on, we’ll get you dressed,” he said and stood up. He offered his hand to her and she took it and stood up with his help, ignoring the pain in her joints. She looked down at her bloodied wrists and at the bleeding man on the ground. For a brief moment she was worried she’d killed him as he was unconscious.

“What is your name?” she asked then, absently. He looked at her blankly, stunned at the coolness of her voice as she asked such a simple question.

“Mike,” he said. She nodded and absently she put on her skirt and top as she found them laid out on the one bed in the room. She kept the jacket he’d put on her and wrapped it tightly around her body. She saw Austin’s truck pull into the parking lot, and she could hear sirens. She watched as her father got out of the car and rushed into the room she was standing in, stepping over the dead man on the floor. New tears filled her eyes and she fell into his arms the way she had Mike’s.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy to see you. I never thought I’d ever be so happy to see you,” she sobbed into his chest. “I killed him, I shot him…he raped me…and I killed him,” she sobbed hysterically. He hushed her and stroked her hair gently. She was holding him so tightly he could feel her fingers digging into his back painfully, but he didn’t care. She was alive and back in his sight. That was what mattered. “I killed him, daddy.”