Standing in the Rain

The rest of the day was spent driving around in my new car, Ryan and I went to lunch, and afterwards Linda took me shopping. I started to suspect something was up when she insisted on buying me a dress and a pair of heels to match.

“Linda?” I was in a dressing room and she was shoving more dresses at me.

“Yes?” She looked at the pink dress she handed me and decided to take it back. I wasn’t too fond of pink, and let out a sigh of relief.

“Just tell me what it is that you or Ryan are planning.” She looked at me and her eyes widened.

“How did you know?” I held up the dresses.

“What other reason would I have to wear one of these?” She sighed and crossed her arms. “It will be a lot easier for the both of us if you just tell me.”

“Don’t tell Ryan I told you.” She conceded. “He’s been trying so hard to keep this a secret.”

“Then don’t tell me all the details, just tell me the general location so I can pick a dress.” I began to hang the dresses around the small room.

“Outside. Not in the grass though.” I nodded and looked over the dresses. One caught my eye. It was a beautiful white strapless dress. The area around the waist was bunched up. The floor length skirt had a silver trim, the front picked up to knee length. I tried it on. It fit perfectly.

“Coming out.” I called over the door. I opened the door and stepped out. A smile formed across her lips.

“That’s perfect. Now change out of it so we can go find some shoes.”

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When we got back to the house I was informed by Ryan I needed to be ready to leave by 8:30. I had 2 hours. Linda dragged me upstairs and hung the dress in my closet.

“Go shower,” she said pushing me towards the bathroom. “Don’t take too long, I need to start on your hair.”

By the time 8:30 rolled around I was ready to go. Linda had curled my hair into gentle waves clipping the sides back. She did my make up as well (covering the mark on my head) and gave me a necklace to wear. I slipped my shoes on, and walked down the stairs.

Ryan was by the door speaking quietly on the phone to someone. My breath caught a little when I saw him. He wore black dress pants, a white dress shirt, top two buttons undone, and a black suit jacket. I suddenly felt really nervous. Ryan hung up and looked at me while I walked over to him. He didn’t say anything, he kind of just stared at me.

“Is something wrong?” I asked suddenly worried there was something on my dress. I looked down but didn’t see anything.

“Nothing at all.” He said quietly. He smiled and held out his arm. “Shall we?” I took his arm and let him lead me to the car.

We arrived at the local dock and he pulled me out to the only boat lit up that wasn’t a house boat. It was most definitely a party boat. Paper lanterns were strung up above the dance floor lighting up all of my friends faces. It took me a minute to notice everyone was dressed up really nicely.

“Surprise!” They all yelled, Ryan helped me onto the boat as one of the workers began to untie it from the dock. Music began playing over the speakers as friends came up and gave their birthday wishes.

We danced for hours occasionally sitting down to rest and talk to someone or eat some of the food that had been set out. I was sitting at one of the tables with Amber talking about my day and taking off the shoes that were killing my tired feet when Ryan came up to me.

“Walk with me?” He asked behind me. I turned and smiled up at him.

“This isn’t going to be one of those long walks off a short pier scenarios is it? I understand it’s a boat deck but the principle is the same.” He rolled his eyes and held onto the back of my chair.

“I could always just tip you over the edge now.” He tilted it forward just a bit with a smirk.

“And in the process ruin this dress, and my hair, causing your mother to kill you.” I stood up crossing my arms. He laughed lightly and slipped his hands into his pockets.

“Come on,” He tilted his head towards the stairs leading to the observation desk. I followed him up the stairs, a few people were up there talking. Korey and Cole were leaning over the rail mumbling something about a movie. We walked all the way to the far end and looked out over the water.

“I take it this was more of a walk to talk than a walk to walk?” I was amazed I didn’t trip over my tongue, I never could read a Dr. Seuss book aloud without it becoming some horrible jumbled mess.

“You guess right.”

“So what did you want to talk about?” I bumped my hip against his and he did the same but didn’t say anything. “Thanks for the party. It’s amazing. I’m surprised Cole kept his mouth shut.” I yelled the part loud enough for Cole to hear. I heard him protest. He was notorious for ruining surprises.

“No one told him until today.” Ryan smiled. I nodded. “It took too much planning to trust him.”

“I was wondering what was up with the formal wear?” It did seem a bit odd to me. It was just a birthday after all.

“The boat has a dress code for evening and night cruises.” That made sense. “I don’t know if I told you this or not but you look stunning.” He smiled. In the faint glow of the lights around the deck I saw him blush.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Truth was he looked incredible. I however was not about to admit to that.

“You know, we’ve been friends for a long time.”

“Ever since that day in first grade you told Nick to back off because he was picking on me.” I had been quite upset he made fun of my pigtails, I loved them. Ryan came over all puffed up and yelled at him telling him everyone else liked my pigtails and he needed to back off or he was getting the teacher.

“I’ve just been thinking,” He paused for what seemed like forever. “That we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” In that one instant the air left my lungs and my heart shattered.

“Maybe you should have that of that before your parents had me move in.” I snapped. I didn’t want him to see me cry, or know how he had just completely killed me.

“I did. A lot actually, which for a while made me second guess it.” I was very glad I was leaning over the rail. My hand were gripped onto it, my knuckles white. I felt like I was about to throw up. “I figured it would make things either very awkward or complicated. Perhaps even both.”

“Well you’re damn right. Why the fuck would you go through all of this trouble and then go ‘Oh hey Tallie, by the way I forgot to tell you I don’t want to be your friend anymore.’ Why Ryan, why?” I was shaking horribly as I turned to face him fully. He did the same and placed his hands around my arms, I tried to get away but he was too strong for me. “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? COULD YOU NO LONGER DEAL WITH WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME? IS THAT IT? WHAT RYAN? WHAT IS IT?”

“I’m in love with you.” He said simply. I blinked. He did not just say that. “I have been for quite some time. I just never wanted to say anything because I didn’t think you felt the same way, but I had to do something. I couldn’t stand just being friends with you anymore Tallie. I had to be more than that. I had to find out if you felt the same way.” He released me and slowly dropped his arms to his sides. I could feel those on the deck staring. That’s when I snapped, or rather slapped him really, and I mean really, hard across the face, and turned going back to the dance floor.

Of course I was through the roof, but at the same time I was so mad. He could have gone about that in a much better way rather than scaring the life out of me. Amber asked if I was ok. I was still shaking and rubbing my hand that was now stinging like mad. I nodded and went back up the stairs and to the captains office.

“You must be the birthday girl.” He smiled, “What can I do for you?”

“Would it be ok if we headed back now? I just really need to get out of here.” He looked at me with sad eyes.

“We still have another couple of hours before we’re supposed to return. Are you sure?” I thought about it and shook my head no, then asked if it would be ok if I just hung out with him until it was time to leave. “If it’s what you want.” He smiled, though I could see the concern in his eyes. I nodded and sat on the small plush bench by the wall.

My shaking was gone by the time Amber found me. “They're waiting for you to do the cake.”

“Just do it without me, I’m not in much of a celebrating mood.” She nodded and left. I slowly drifted to sleep and was woken by the captain.

“We’re back.” I thanked him and left grabbing my shoes from where I had left them. I didn’t see Ryan anywhere so I went to his car shoes in hand. Leaning against the car I looked up the stars and sighed. The door locks clicked and I turned to see Ryan walk over. His hands were in his pockets, he was slightly hunched over, and had a sad look on his face. I got into the car without a word. Neither of us spoke the first half of our trip home.

“Can we just forget what happened?” He asked eyes fixed on the road.

“So now you want to forget it?” I laughed dryly and stared out the window.

“I just don’t want things to be bad between us. I didn’t think you would get so mad over it.”

“You started with I don’t want to be friends anymore and took forever to fully explain. What was I supposed to think?” It was silent the rest of the way home. He stopped me before I went inside.

“Maybe that wasn’t the best way to go about it.” I snorted. “I understand that, but I just had to do something. I figured tonight would be the best time to say something. Being your friend has been torture.” His eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just I want to be so much more.” He let out a sigh and leaned his forehead against the front door. “And I thought maybe you felt the same way.”

“I do.” I whispered. “It’s just the way you did it and with every-” I was cut off when his lips crashed onto mine. Electricity shot through me as slowly moved his lips along with mine never breaking apart. One hand was on my cheek while he used the other to pull me closer to him. I pulled apart when I felt my lungs about to burst. I smiled wildly as he leaned his forehead to mine.

“Best. Birthday. Ever.”