Believe It

I found out where I am, finally. Burbank, California. It's funny, I didn't expect it to be this lavish. Maybe I'm just in some random high-end part of it. It doesn't matter to me; the more high class, the better. Maybe the drugs are better too.

So far I've been here three days, searching everywhere I could for a vacancy in a motel or a job opening somewhere. Surely, there'd be somewhere that had a space for me? But so far, no luck. I've been sleeping in a homeless shelter for the past few days, and now I'm seriously desperate for anywhere to go, anywhere but that wretched place! It's so cramped and damp, everyone either stealing from one another or fighting for loose change. One guy even tried to fight with me, but another man punched him in the jaw and they started fighting on the floor, blood spewing everywhere. It was disgusting, but I'm so glad it wasn't me. If they found my wallet in my jean pocket, I wouldn't know what to do. My life is pretty much in my wallet right now, and I'll be damned if some drunk hobo tries to take it away from me.

I'm walking around what I assume to be northern Burbank right now. I left the homeless shelter about three hours ago, and I'm not fucking going back. I'd sooner take my chances sleeping in an alley way than in that prison. People stare as they pass me, again, muttering under their breaths as though I can't hear them. I don't care, I'm used to it. What's a little gossip when you're on the run? Or not, anymore anyway. Just in hiding. Whatever.

I stop a corner and look to the sky. I'm guessing it's around noon right now. Lunch time. My stomach shudders, sending hunger pains through me. I haven't eaten since I was in San Diego.I would kill for something to eat right now. I pull out my wallet, checking the contents. I still have $427 dollars left. Luckily I found a dealer the other night and he sold me some crack really cheap. I should be good for the next few days, maybe a little longer. My stomach grumbles again. Maybe I can spare a little bit for lunch, then back to job searching.

I wandered along the streets until I came across a Starbucks. Perfect! Stuff's cheap there, right? I walk in and look around. People pack the small chairs and tables, but surprisingly, there isn't a line. I walk up to the counter, leaning on it slightly. A skinny redhead struts over to me and grins widely. "Hi, I'm Allison! What can I getcha?" Finally, someone who's nice.

"Anything, I'm starving." I say quietly. She giggles and goes behind the counter, pushing some buttons on a machine. Then she leans over and pulls out a tin-wrapped object and hands it to me.

"Okay, so you're coffee's almost ready, and here's a sandwich. You look really hungry. Long day?" She looks up sympathetically. I nod slowly. More like long life. "I understand." She looks me over quickly, her eyes scanning my less than appealing appearance. "You don't look to well, there. Are you alright?" I nod quickly, but then shake my head 'no'. Why lie? "My shift ends in a few minutes if you want to talk about it...?" She trails off.

"Adam." I say, filling in my name. "And, uh, sure." Maybe making a friend here might be nice.

She smiles widely. "Great! Here," she says, letting me behind the counter and handing me the coffee she made, "there's a lounge behind here for the staff. Since I'm the only staff working right now, it's empty. Chill out there until my shift ends, and then we can talk, yeah?" She pushes me to the right, opens a small door, and pushes me inside. Well, she's assertive.

The lounge is simple, but cozy. It's all white with three grey couches and a table. There's a TV and a radio on a desk in the corner, and windows on the wall let the sunlight from outside ooze in. It's really pretty. I sit down on one of the couches and eat slowly. It tastes so good! I'm never going this long without food ever again! My stomach twists painfully, in need of more nourishment, but I continue to eat at a slow pace. If I eat it all now, I won't have any left for tomorrow.

The door slams behind me, making me jump. "Sorry, Adam." Allison says sheepishly. "I just had to hand over my apron to Danielle, the other barista. Now I have three hours off!" She fist pumps, and I smile at her childishness. She's so energetic for someone with this sort of job. She walks over to me and sits down on the couch, giving me some space. "So..." she starts unsurely, "what's wrong?"

I shake my head. It's honestly not like she can help me. "Nothing."

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Sweetheart, don't lie to me. You're in rags and covered in dirt. Obviously this is more than just a bad day." She pauses, waiting for me to say something. I don't. She sighs and puts her hand on my shoulder. It feels sort of...nice. "Look," she stares me in the eyes, "I don't know you. I don't know what's going on with you. But I can tell that you don't belong here. I just want to help."

I shake off her hand and sigh. "You can't help me. You're very nice, but you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because what I'm going through doesn't concern you. You have no idea."

"I have no idea what it's like to be a runaway?" I snap up to look at her, and she smirks. "Don't look so shocked, hun, you're outfit practically screams homeless." I blink at her, hands shaking a little. I know, I am homeless, it just hurts to be reminded, you know? "And you're right, maybe I don't know what that's like. But I do know what it's like to be kicked out of you're house at the age of 16. I know what it's like to be alone like that. So, maybe, I can relate, sort of."

I sit there, shocked. Maybe she can help me. "Why were you kicked out of your house?"

"Nuh uh!" She says, wagging her finger in my face. "I asked you first. Talk."

I swallow, clearing my throat, and crack my knuckles. "I-I..." What can I say? "I ran away from home. I've been on the streets for a while now, maybe nine or ten months. I ran f-from Chicago..." I trail off, unable to find my voice. It's so hard to talk about, too hard. I don't even think of it if I don't have to.

She places a soothing hand on my back, rubbing gently. "Why'd you run away?"

I shake my head. "Just some, uh, stuff at home. I don't like talking about it. It got to be too much and I ran. They're still looking for me."

"Who?"

Lie, lie, lie! "My p-parents. And my brother. I have a little brother, Niel. I left him there, when I ran. We used to be so close." Wet tears drip onto my jeans, leaving salt trails along my face. I haven't cried in a long time; it hurts and it makes me feel better.

She pulls me into her, resting my head on her shoulder. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Adam." She rubs my back, letting me cry onto her shirt, soaking it. "How'd you get here from Chicago?"

"Bus." I rasp out, small sobs racking my body. "I've been hopping from city to city. I don't want to go back there, Allison. I can't."

"Shh, calm down, Adam." She holds me to her as I break down. "You don't have to. I'm so sorry." She wraps me in a hug, muttering soothing words to me under my breath, running her hand over my back. No one's ever been this nice to me, and she doesn't even know me. I was beginning to think people like this didn't exist, were myths like fairies and pixies. People just aren't nice to me like this. And they shouldn't be, not after everything. Eventually, however, the tears slow, and my sobs stop. When I'm calm enough, she lets me go. "Do you have someplace to stay tonight?"

I shake my head sadly, slowly. I never do. "No. I've been looking for one for the past few days, but no where has an opening. Everywhere's full."

"Not my house." She says, smiling at me. I look up at her. Surely she's not suggesting...? "I live in an apartment, but I have some extra room. If you want, you can stay with me. I've been living on my own for the past three months since my parents kicked me out, so it's not all that fancy, but if you don't have anywhere I could make some spare room."

My eyes light up, and suddenly I'm hopeful again. "Really? No, I couldn't ask that. You don't even know me."

"Yes I do!" she giggles. "You're Adam, and you've hard a hard time and you need a place to stay. We can fill in the rest of the details later while I get you back to my place. I'm pretty much done for the day, so we can go there now. Sound good?" I nod furiously. I will never be able to make this up to her. She grins. "Great, c'mon, let me show you my home."