Of Heartache and Memories

Will continued to visit the coffee shop.

It was always the same routine: order one chai latte with extra foam and cinnamon, and take his usual seat by the window. His presence no longer surprised me; in fact, over time, I grew to expect it.

While he didn’t ask about my troubles again, I knew he was wondering. I could tell from the stolen glances he shot me over his coffee when he thought I wasn’t looking. His blue eyes held concern and pity, two of the things I hated most. I tried my best to look happy around him, but so far, it didn’t look like I succeeded.

“What time do you get off?” He asked one day, flashing me the smile I’d long come to recognize as his.

I froze, my hand containing his coffee suspended in mid-air.

“Uh, at six. Why?”

“Because I want to take you somewhere.”

I glanced up at him, trying to read his face in order to gain more understanding of him, something I seemed to do a lot lately. And as usual, his face was adorned with that breathtaking smile, and I was left just as baffled as before.

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” He placed a finger over his lips to emphasize this. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

He walked away, striding through the front door without giving me a chance to refuse or to tell him that clock just barely grazed two. I didn’t think he would actually sit outside for four hours, but each time I looked up, there he was, sitting on a bench while fiddling with his camera.

Soon, three o’ clock rolled around, then four, then five, until finally the customers had dispersed and I could hang my apron on the rack behind me. Saying my goodbyes to the manager, I walked outside, stepping into the cool September air. I looked around, but for once, Will was nowhere to be found. A strange feeling came over me, one I came to recognize as disappointment. As I walked away, contemplating my thoughts, I heard a car pull up beside me.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

I spun around, staring at Will through incredulous eyes. He leaned out the window of his truck, staring me down with a smile.

“Did you really think I was gonna let you skip out on our date?”

I frowned; this was a date?

“I never agreed to that, you know.”

“Fine, you’re right. Would you like to come with me, Quinn?”

Hearing my name leave his lips sent chills down my spine, though I was unsure why. Everything about this boy was a mystery. I couldn’t understand him, and that scared me as much as it intrigued me. The things he did left me more jumbled than anything I’d ever experienced, yet I was always stuck wondering whether that was a bad thing.

“Sure,” I said finally. “Why not?”

His smile was the brightest I’d ever seen it as I walked around and jumped in the passenger seat. Every wall I’d ever put up tried to reel me back, to pull me from this decision before I let someone get to close. But Will was different, I could tell even then, and I wanted to get closer. I wanted to understand him.

“Where are we going?” I asked him once I was situated.

“I told you, it’s a surprise.”

“What if I don’t like surprises?”

He chuckled.

“Well, that’s just too bad.”



It turned out that Will’s secret destination was the beach. I wrinkled my nose at the hordes of people that flooded the sandy area.

“This is what I waited over four hours for?” I couldn’t help it, I was disappointed.

“What, were you expecting dinner and a movie?”

Truthfully, I hadn’t known what to expect. But I knew that whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t this.

“For your information,” he continued, “this just so happens to be where I go to think.”

“How can you think with all these people?

“Because I have a secret hideaway. Come on, I’ll show you.”

He grabbed my hand and led me off without allowing time for a response, as I was coming to realize was his habit. We walked together for a little while, my hand enveloped in his, until we reached a group of rocks. Walking around it, he led me through what looked like an archway into an area of sand almost completely hidden by rocks, complete with a perfect view of the ocean.

Will let go of my hand, sitting in the sand and resting his back against a rock. I hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside him, pulling my knees to my chest.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, both of us just looking out over the ocean. Will was right; it was peaceful here. It was easy to think about things, though more than once I had to lead my train of thought away from darker, less happy memories.

“My parents died when I was three,” Will said suddenly.

I froze, caught completely off-guard by his words. I was speechless; what could you say to someone who told you their parents are dead? I tried to imagine living without my parents, and a cold hollow feeling spread through me, causing me to push that thought quickly away. I wanted to tell him something, anything that could make him feel better, but no words came.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize,” He told me, obviously sensing my desires. “Like I said, I was only three, and I hardly have any memory of them. After that, my older brother and I were sent to live with our uncle. He was a great guy. He’s the one who taught me about photography.”

He looked me in the eyes for the first time since he started talking.

“Listen, I’m not telling you all this because I want sympathy or anything. I’m telling you this because I understand what it means to have something bad happen to you. But you can do one of two things: hang onto the pain of that past, or move on and try to be happy.” He smiled. “I may not know what happened to you before, nor is it any of my business. But I do know that I want you to be happy, and if I have to go to the ends of the earth to make that happen, then I will.”

I could only stare at him, the utter sincerity of his words hitting me full force. I had yet to figure out why this boy would go so far for me, for a girl he hardly knew. But something about him made me trust his words. And as he drove me home later that night, I thought that he may be the one that could break down the walls I’d erected so strongly around myself.