One Last Chance

Severus stomped into the Great Hall as usual, but for once there wasn't a look of malice on his face. He had barely gotten any sleep the night before. Last night had been the full moon and he had stayed up half the night in Remus's absence. He had gone out to the Womping Willow after dinner and Severus had not seen him since, not that he really expected him to show up for breakfast. He would probably sleep for a few more hours as it was.

The transformation always wore him out. It made him extremely weak and fatigued. Severus had helped him keep his mind by brewing him the Wolfsbane Potion, but it was not enough. He hated the thought of the other man being in so much pain. He wished it were possible for him to create something that would rid Remus of the pain that came with shifting from human to wolf and back again.

He took his usual seat at the breakfast table, scowling as he began to fork some food onto his plate. Mornings were bad enough for him as it was. They were absolutely terrible without Remus to talk to and joke with. They had spent the past few days together, not wanting to part for even a moment.

Severus was proud of himself for how open he was learning to become. Gone were the days when he was too nervous to touch the other man. Gone were the days where he flinched at the slightest touch. He was not fully there yet, but he was at least halfway.

He was thankful that they were not getting tired of spending most of their spare time together. They graded papers together, played stupid games with the boys, and simply sat together and talked for hours. They separated only late at night when Remus retired to his chambers and Severus retired to his own bed.

Despite all of this, an apparent awkwardness still hung in the air around them at certain times. Severus felt this when their kiss would get a little too heated and one of the two would pull away before things could go any further. He felt this every time the three words he so wished to say again hung on the tip of his tongue, but he could not bring himself to say them.

They had not talked about what had happened the night of their huge fight, or the night that Harry had been injured. Neither of them wanted to bring up the bad memories of the past and ruin this good thing they had going between them. He knew one of them would have to bring it up sooner or later and he was really dreading that conversation.

He was also still battling his own addictions, unknown to anybody but himself. He could not bring himself to stop shooting up. It was stupid and harmful and foolish of him, but he needed it. He needed to feel that high. He needed to go to that unfamiliar place. Without it, he might just go completely mental. Last night had been one of the rare occasions where he had indulged himself. Remus was already inside the Shrieking Shack and the boys had gone to bed early.

He had shot up, as usual, but he had also managed to sneak off the grounds to buy some Ecstasy pills. The high that came from those was completely indescribable and he would give anything to feel that way all of the time. It was as if he connected with everything and everyone. He wanted to feel every texture in the carpet, read every book on the shelf, and merge with the objects around him.

The pills also made him extremely horny. Remus had not been around, but fortunately he'd had his left hand available. He could never have sex with Remus again, he realized. The man would see the puncture marks and bruises lining his arms. He would discover his little secret. He would probably leave him. He could not let that happen. Not when he had just gotten him back.

"Severus!" Minerva exclaimed as she noticed him for the first time. Why did she have to be such a morning person? He could not stand the cheery sound of her voice at such an un-godly hour. He felt like hitting her with a silencing spell. "I'm surprised to see you at breakfast. I thought you would be checking up on Remus."

The rest of the staff turned to stare at him at her words. Damn her for having such a loud mouth. And damn them for listening. They really needed to learn how to mind their own business. "I thought I'd let him sleep for a few more hours. I'm sure he is extremely worn out from the transformation. I already offered to teach a few of his classes today. " He said.

"You really are just a big softie underneath all that meanness, aren't you?" Aurora joked from his right.

He felt himself sneering at her words. Him? Soft? Hell would freeze over before that happened. He was still as mean as ever. To prove his point, he shot her a look of disgust before scraping back his chair and striding throughout the aisles, his robes dangerously billowing out behind him.

Severus slammed the door open to Remus's classroom. The students all stopped their chattering immediately when they realized that it was their greasy Potions Master. He pointed his wand at the shutters, silently slamming them shut. He liked it to be dark when he was teaching. Windows were a distraction for a lot of the students.

He marched to the front of the room, pulling down the projector as he went. Looking up, he was satisfied to find all of the students watching him curiously apart from Harry, Draco, and Hermione. They had known that he would be teaching today's lesson ahead of time.

"Who can tell me three indications that a person has been subjected to the Imperius curse?"

A few hands raised and he was debating on whom to call on when a voice rang out from the rest. "Where's Professor Lupin?" He sought out the source of the voice, surprised to find that it was one of his Slytherins who had interrupted the class. Theodore Nott, to be precise.

"He has fallen ill." He replied shortly, having no patience for nosiness.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot that the full moon was last night." Nott smirked. "I just knew I heard howling all the way down in the dungeons."

Severus was growing annoyed. He was aware that the entire school knew of Remus's condition. He had himself to think for that, actually. He still didn't feel like it was a subject that needed to be brought to everybody's attention. "Quiet, Nott. Professor Lupins current condition is none of your concern." He warned. He turned back to the class and began to address them. "Now as I was say-"

"No, but it certainly is of your concern. After all, you're the one who's fucking him." Nott interrupted him. Gasps emitted from the entire class.

Severus clenched his fist together inside of his robes, hand curled around his wand. He would love nothing more than to curse the boy into obliviation, but he legally could not do so. In all of his teaching career, only one other student had ever dared to speak to him in such a way. He had made sure to make her life a living hell for the remainder of her sixth and seventh years. Everybody knew not to mess with him or test his temper. It normally was not a very pretty sight.

He did not utter a single word for the longest amount of time. He simply looked back at the boy, completely livid on the inside. The scraping of a chair was what finally managed to bring him back into reality. "Shut the fuck up, Nott."

Harry had stood and drawn his wand. It was now pointing at Nott's chest. He deeply wished he could allow him to shoot at the boy full range, but once again, he legally could not allow it. He slammed his fists down on the desktop. Nott recoiled from him as he leaned forward, so close that their noses were practically touching.

"One hundred and fifty points from Slytherin and two weeks detention with Filch." He snarled in his face.

Nott stared at him in horror and he smirked right back at him.

He heard groans from around them and a few gasps. He pulled back to find a few Slytherins looking shocked at the punishment he had just awarded Nott. Most of them didn't look too shocked, though. They just looked extremely pissed off at the both of them. Oh well. His job was to make the students hate him. Speaking of doing his job, he still had to punish Harry for his outburst, although he had found it simply amusing.

"Oh and five points from Gryffindor, Harry. Now sit down." Fuck. He had not meant to call the boy by his first name in front of the class. It had just slipped out on accident. He glanced around to see the entire class whispering and staring at him as if he had gone temporarily insane. Harry and Draco were simply smirking from the front of the room. This was going to be an exceedingly long lesson.

By the time lunchtime swung around, he felt as if it had officially been the longest morning of his life. After dealing with Remus's horrid class, he'd had to go town to the dungeons to teach the most incompetent second years he had ever had the misfortune of teaching. It was like teaching twenty miniature Neville Longbottom's.

Instead of heading to the Great Hall, he headed to his personal quarters instead. He pulled a bottle of Firewhiskey from the cabinet and summoned himself a shot glass. He did three shots of the alcohol. Enough to feel something, but not enough to make him unable to teach or for anybody to notice. He then opened the fridge and grabbed an orange and a few grapes to eat for lunch. It wasn't much, but up until a few days ago he had been skipping nearly every meal so anything was an improvement to that.

He quickly finished his food and headed out of his quarters. He walked along the many corridors, cursing the school for having so many steps that he had to walk up. After some time, he finally reached the fifth floor where Remus's quarters were located. He looked around before muttering the password and slipping inside the door. He could just see an idiot student putting a monitoring charm on the room or something equally stupid if they were to overhear the password.

The wolfs chambers were extremely dark and he could immediately tell that Remus hadn't been out of bed yet. This transformation must have been one of the worse ones then. He crept throughout the small living quarters as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb the sleeping man. He pulled open the bedroom door slowly, cursing it in his mind as it creaked and cracked.

Looking over at the bed, he saw Remus beginning to stir. He looked unbearably weak as he opened his eyes and looked around the room. He smiled as he became aware of his presence, but Severus didn't miss the wince of pain that came when he slowly propped himself halfway up on the pillows.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, rummaging through the pockets of his cloak. He pulled out a phial and unscrewed the lid. "Here. It's Pepper Up. It won't take the pain away, but it should make you feel a little better."

Remus downed the phial in a few gulps. He handed it back to him and tried to sit up fully, but let out a low gasp of pain as he did so. "Stop moving, fool!" Severus reprimanded him, but his tone was lighter than normal.

"Was trying to come to you." He croaked in a barely audible voice.

Severus felt a tugging on the strings of his heart as he looked down at his lover. He had lay back down completely and now had his eyes closed. The blankets had moved down and he smiled as he saw that Remus was wearing his t-shirt with the wolf on it. He would rather die than admit it, but the man looked completely adorable in it.

He kicked off his shoes and removed his clothing until he was in his sweater and jeans. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he maneuvered himself so he was sitting half up against the pillows. Remus forced himself to sit up again, ignoring the warning look that he shot his way.

Severus waited until he had finished moving before jerking the other man to his chest. Remus ended up laying on his right side with his head on his chest. He began running his hand lightly up and down his spine. Remus kissed his shoulder and he felt an extremely unfamiliar tingling running through his fingers and into the pit of his stomach at the action. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Remus asked him how his day had been so far.

"Hell." He replied. "Absolute hell."

"Why has it been hell?" Remus asked.

"Do you really want to know?" He was aware of his tendency to complain about every little thing when the time granted for it.

"Mhmmm" He mumbled, wrapping an arm around his waist.

He took a deep breath. Where to begin, where to begin.

"Well first of all I had to get up at seven o'clock in the morning. That will ruin anybody's day. Then I get to eat breakfast with an annoying staff who cannot mind their own business." 'And you weren't there' He added silently. "Then there was a gigantic scene in your seventh year defense class."

"What kind of scene?" He frowned.

"Nott made a few comments about how the full moon was last night. I told him your business was none of his concern. He then made remarks about you and I. I believe his exact words were "After all, you are the one who's fucking him." He felt himself grow angry again as he repeated the words out loud.

He felt himself grow alarmed as Remus began to chuckle quietly from underneath him. "I don't see what you could possibly find to be so…amusing."

"Oh come on, Severus. It only angers you because somebody disrespected you despite this mean old Potions Master you portray yourself as."

That wasn't it at all. Well, maybe a little, but it wasn't the reason he had considered hexing the child until he resembled a gigantic Flobberworm.

"It angers me because somebody disrespected you." He said quietly, feeling the feeling of his face heating up as it did every single time he said something that would be filed into the sentimental category.

Remus lifted his head from his chest and stared up at him. He felt as if he had done something wrong as the man continued to stare at him without speaking. Their eyes finally met and he studied his face. The look on his face wasn't angry, but it wasn't happy either. It was scrutinizing.

He didn't have time to think about what that kind of look meant because suddenly Remus's lips were moving on his. Their kiss was slow and sweet and it could have gone on for hours. He felt Remus caressing his cheek and realized that he had started to brush his fingertips through the man's sandy hair. Normally he would have stopped himself, but Remus suddenly sighed in contentment. He continued to repeat the action, smiling through the kiss.

They finally surfaced for air, but they didn't pull away from one another. Their foreheads continued to touch and their eyes were closed. He slipped both of his arms around his waist and drew him as close as possible. Remus let out a squeak of surprise before burying his face in his shoulder and wrapping his arm around his waist.

Severus hated cuddling with a passion. He thought it was for fools who had too much time on their hands. The only time it was acceptable for him was at bedtime. Despite these feelings, he never wanted to move from this spot right here. He wanted to hold Remus in his arms every moment for the rest of his life.

Remus had this indescribable effect on him. At times, he found himself wanting to get completely lost in the other man. He found himself wanting to become a foolish lover who did things like read poetry aloud and cuddle on the sofa. He felt like a fool for even thinking it, but he would not mind spending every single day for the rest of his life with Remus. He loved him and he wanted him to know it. He had not said it since the day they had made up out of fear, but he could not go the rest of his life not taking chances because his fears dominated him.

"I love you so much. I don't ever want to be without you." He whispered in his ear.

He felt Remus lift his head up to study him, but he kept his eyes closed tight. Waiting.

"I love you too. You don't ever have to be without me if you don't want to."

He didn't say anything more, there wasn't any need to. Remus settled back onto his chest and he simply held onto him tighter, wishing lunch time would last forever.