One Last Chance

The next few weeks were some of the best and worst of his life. He continued to spend most of his free time with Remus. He had grown to be comfortable around him. They would often sit for hours, late at night, and just talk about their days. About their lives. They only talked about the good memories of the past, never the bad ones. Severus was glad for this. He didn't think he could ever face the man again if he broke down in front of him as he had that night all of those months ago. Severus was always glad to have Remus around, but he didn't quite know where their relationship was going.

They hadn't moved past kissing, not even making out. It seemed as if Draco and Potter were getting more action than he was as he kept catching them in compromising positions in the hallway or on the sofa. He would scold them and threaten them everytime he saw this, but he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever reach that stage with Remus. He didn't want to push things and even he didn't know if he was ready for such an act yet. Sex could be either the most emotional act one could commit or the least emotional act one could commit.

On top of his sexual frustrations, he was also emotionally frustrated with himself. The man tried to cuddle with him when they were sitting next to each other on the couch and he couldn't help but stiffen and push him away.

He hated seeing the hurt in his eyes everytime he did so, but he just wasn't used to that kind of physical contact. He was beginning to wonder if Remus even wanted to be with him long term or if he was just around until he found someone better. Someone who wasn't so distant. Someone who wasn't so cold. Someone who wasn't so damaged. Someone who could give himself to him completely.

People were now acting as if the Potter-Malfoy scandal had never happened. The first few days after it had happened, they had been tormented to no end. Severus recalled the first day they were back in classes and had been brewing an acne potion. Potter's had turned bright pink (the correct color) while everyone else's had turned out to be a light red or orange color.

He had been walking around examining the potions when Goyle had suddenly called out. "Why's Potter's potion pink?" Before he could open his mouth, Weasley had spoken out. "Cause he's a fairy." He wasn't particularly shocked at Weasley's comment, but he was shocked as the Slytherin's laughed along with the Gryffindor's. Potter had gone red at the boys comment, but he didn't retailate, turning to whisper to Draco instead. "Oooh look Pottys whispering in his ear. Can't face his problems himself." Parkinson had taunted.

"Leave him alone!" Granger had called out over the laughter. "Leave them both alone!" It seemed that Potter had at least one friend left in the world. And Draco too as the girl was standing up for him as well. It was all so weird.

He missed the days when he hated Potter and the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's were at each others throats, not ganging up on two people from either house and laughing together. "You'd do well to listen to Miss Granger." He had informed the class. They still didn't shut up at his comment. Was he losing his touch or were they just full of confidence all of a sudden?

"The next person who makes a comment will earn a months detention! If one of you say so much as a word to them, I will take fifty points from your house!" That had shut them up all right. There hadn't been an incident in his class since and the boys had just now informed him that people were now simply pretending they didn't exist.

They were interrupted from their conversation as a knock sounded on the door. Who could that be? The only person who ever came down there besides the three of them was Remus and he didn't knock anymore, just flung the door open. Not that he minded. He opened the door and saw Granger pacing in front of it. "Yes?" He asked, knowing exactly why she was here. "Um I was wondering if I could maybe see Harry and Draco for a wile Professor." She looked at him nervously. "I suppose." Was his clipped response.

He was secretly glad she had came. He had been worried about the boys becoming depressed at suddenly having no friends at all. Also, the girl at least acted her age, so he wasn't worried about her destroying anything or annoying him to no end. He showed her to the sitting room, resuming his seat by the fire. "Hermione!" Potter yelled when he saw her. He jumped up and she flung herself on him. "I'm so sorry." She muttered. "For what?" Potter frowned, releasing her and sprawling out on the couch with Draco as she sat timidly on the remaining armchair.

"Not being able to stop them from doing what they did and for not coming to see you sooner. I've been so busy with all of my N.E.W.T classes and with Ron constantly complaining about you two." Severus saw the two boys share a look and knew what they were going to ask next before it even came out. "What's Weasel been saying about us?" Draco asked her. "Just constantly making sexual comments and calling Harry a traitor. He said he doesn't care if Harry's gay, he just cares if he's with you." Severus glanced at Draco and could see the hurt in his eyes as he began to speak again. "Did he ask you if you knew about us?" He asked her.

Had she known? She didn't seem that surprised at the two of them dating, but she was a very forgiving person, so who knew. Granger nodded as she began speaking again. "I told him I did and he broke up with me." He heard the two of them gasp and was surprised as he did so himself. "Asshole." He muttered. He had obviously said it louder than he had intended as he heard the three of them laugh. "If he's going to be that way then I don't want to be with him anyway." She stated before changing the subject.

He sat there listening to the three of them talk for the next hour, occasionally contributing to the conversation. They all stopped talking abruptly as Remus burst through the door. Severus could tell immediately that something was wrong by the look on his face.

He jumped up and swept across the room, ignoring the curious look Granger gave him. "What's wrong?" He whispered. "Let's sit down." He said, his voice distant. He didn't like the way the wolf was acting. He didn't like it at all. "What's wrong Remus?" Granger asked him as he began pacing the living room. Severus came and sat back down in his armchair, waiting to find out what was going on.

"The Order wants me to spy for them." He said. Spy? Who was there left to spy on now that the Dark Lord was gone and most of the Death Eaters were locked up in Azkaban or dead? "They want to round up the remaining Death Eaters, starting with Greyback and his followers. They want me to set out tonight, in my wolf form, to try to find his pack and lure them out of hiding." Severus jumped out of his chair, making everyone jump. "No." He said, shaking his head. "Your not going." That was a dangerous job. He wouldn't lose another person he cared about. He couldn't lose another person he cared about. It just might kill him this time around.

He glanced at the three teenagers sitting on the couch. Granger was looking back in forth between the two, looking confused. Potter was just staring at Remus, looking sick. And Draco was staring into space, looking thoughtful about something. "Severus." Remus said quietly, but was cut off before he could finish. "I think it's a good idea." Everyone slowly turned to stare at Draco.

He had a feeling they were all remembering that he was the son of two Death Eaters at that moment. "What? Don't look at me like that. Greyback and his followers don't need to go around biting anymore children. Isn't he the one who bit Remus? I'm sure he wants him stopped too." He switched his gaze back to Remus who was nodding in agreement. "I have to go." He said more to him than the other three. He could tell by his face that the decision was final. He wasn't going to change his mind no matter what he said to him.

Overcome by emotion and not giving a damn that Granger was in the room or that he had barely showed Remus affection in front of the two boys, he strode across the room and flung himself at Remus. Remus stumbled for a moment before hugging him back,a look of surprise on his face at the sudden contact. Severus Snape didn't do hugs and the wolf damn well knew it.

He felt him wind his arms tight around his waist. Severus kept his arms tightly around his neck, burying his face in his shoulder. He inhaled the scent that was Remus and willed himself not to have a breakdown. They couldn't see him weak.

He pulled back an inch to look Remus in the eyes, knowing how vulnerable he currently looked. "I can't lose you." He whispered, unable to control himself any longer. Remus stared into his eyes for a long moment. "You won't." Remus whispered back, caressing his cheek gently. Severus didn't flinch for once as he did so. "Promise me that you'll come back." He knew it sounded stupid. There was no way that Remus could promise him that nothing would happen. "I promise." Still, he somehow felt a little better at the other mans words.

Remus let go of him and lifted his hands to his neck, removing a chain and fastening it around his neck instead. Severus felt a smile tug on the corners of his mouth as he looked down at it. It was a silver chain with a tiny wolf carving hanging off of it. He closed his eyes as the other man pulled him back into a tight embrace. He leaned forward, seeking out his lips. He was met halfway and Severus hitched his breath as they kissed. The wolf had poured every emotion the both of them were feeling and more into the kiss, literally knocking the wind out of him.

They broke apart after what seemed like years and Remus went to stand in front of the fireplace. "I'm going to Floo back to headquarters before I go to tell them I've accepted the mission." Potter got out of his seat and gave Remus a hug, making him promise to be careful. Granger hugged him next, lecturing him about not being gone for days and making them worry.

Severus had to agree with her. He knew he was going to worry himself sick waiting for him to get back. Even Draco came forward and clasped the man on the shoulder, telling him to "Get the bastards." He just rolled his eyes and shook his head at the boys lovely use of words. Remus threw the Floo powder in and turned back to him for a moment. "Be careful." He told him, hoping he would listen. "I will." He said, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him in for another short kiss before disappearing through the Floo.

There was silence for a moment. "I better get back. It's almost curfew." Granger said, standing up. The boys bid her goodbye and she left, the door swinging shut behind her. It was then that he remembered his actions for the past ten minutes. He had kissed Remus in front of Granger. They were supposed to be keeping them a secret. She was friends with the Gryffindors who had tormented Draco and Potter. The whole school would know by tomorrow. "She won't say anything you know." Potter said suddenly. "Yeah?" The boy nodded his head. "She won't. She's not like that. She doesn't tell other people's business without their permission."

Severus was greatful for that. One less thing that he'd have to worry about for the next few days. "Sounds like you've got yourself a good friend there." He muttered, burying his hands in his face. Potter was silent for a long moment. "Accio drinking glasses. Accio Firewhiskey." Severus looked up as the objects came zooming through the air and landed gracefully on the table. He wondered when the boys magic had gotten better. Last time he had seen him summon something to drink, it had smashed all over the table.

He watched as Draco began pouring the three of them glasses. He thought about taking it away from them, but decided against it. They were seventeen and it wasn't a school night. As long as they didn't get drunk and act like idiots, he didn't care. They sat there for a wile, drinking and staring into the fire. The boys didn't try to engage him in conversation and he was glad. He wasn't in the mood to talk about anything. After what felt like hours, he finally excused himself to go to bed early.

As hard as he tried, sleep wouldn't come. He tossed and turned all night long. He was thinking about Remus. Wondering if he was okay. Wondering when he would be back. If he would be back. No. He couldn't think like that. Remus would be back for sure. Sooner then he knew it. He refused to have it any other way.

Around three in the morning he couldn't take it anymore and stalked into the living room to find something to do. He was surprised to find Potter lying shirtless on the couch, sipping on a glass of Firewhiskey and staring at the fire. He came and sat down in an armchair, making him jump at the sudden movement.. "What are you doing out here?" He asked seeing as the boy had his ridiculous Gryffindor pillow and a white bed sheet with him. "Draco kicked me out here." He mumbled.

What reason could they be fighting over? Sure, they were constantly bickering at each other, but he had never once seen them get in a real fight. One big enough for Potter to be kicked out onto the couch. "What are you two bickering over now?" He asked. "We weren't bickering. We're fighting." Potter stated. Severus rolled his eyes and willed himself not to snap at him. "Fine. Why are you two fighting?" He hadn't been expecting to see a blush creeping onto Potter's cheeks after he asked.

"We were um..about to..you know." The boy said sheepishly. "If your mature enough to have sex then your mature enough to use the word." He told him rather harshly. "Fine. We were about to have sex. The light was on, which it never has been before, and he pulled my shirt off. He um saw something and wanted to know about it. When I wouldn't answer him he kicked me out here." Severus knew exactly what Draco had seen on the boy and didn't blame him for asking about it.

He had been curious as to what exactly had caused the whip like scars on his back ever since that day at Grimmauld Place. "Show me." He said quietly. Potter looked at him as if he'd grown two heads. "Show me your back." He stared at him for a moment before setting his glass down on the table and standing up, his back to him.

Severus gasped as he looked at his back. He had thought it had been bad when he'd seen him a few years ago, but it was worse. Across the bottom of his back in huge letters was "FREAK". He felt himself grow angry as the boy sat back down and looked at him. "Who did this to you Harry?" He asked as gentle as he could considering how pissed he was. "I did." He whispered.

Surely he didn't mean what he thought he did. He wouldn't hurt himself like that, right? Or would he? He hardly knew the boy, so he really couldn't tell. "Legilimency." He whispered. He understood at once what the boy wanted him to do. He was reluctant to do so, not wanting to regret what he saw. "Are you sure?" He asked. "Yes."

"Legilimens"

He could tell the memory was from the summer before his sixth year because that's when he had tried to grow those ridiculous side burns. He remembered snickering as the boy walked into the kitchen at Grimmauld place. In the memory, all he could see was darkness. Where was Potter at? A flashlight suddenly came on and he could see Potter lying on a tiny mattress in what looked like...a cupboard?

What the hell was the boy doing in a cupboard? He turned his attention back to the boy and saw that he was trying to do homework. He looked at the watch on the boys wrist and saw that it read three am. Why was he doing his homework in the dead of night in a cupboard?

A thud sounded from outside the cupboard and Potter turned the flashlight off, the book disappearing underneath his pillow. Light flooded the cupboard as a beefy looking man appeared in the doorway. "What are you doing boy?" He asked. "Nothing Uncle Vernon." The beefy man snorted. "I heard the scratching of a- of those things you lot use to write with. Where the hell are you hiding it!?" The man boomed, jerking the boy from his lying down position and tossing him into the wall.

The man searched the bed, finding his Charms book, parchment, ink, and quill underneath the pillow. He also produced a handful of stale chips and what looked like a piece of bread. "BEEN SNEAKING AROUND THE HOUSE HAVE YOU BOY!" The boy looked absolutely terrified at this point and Severus didn't see what the big deal was. "Please. I was so hungry. I haven't had food in almost a week."

This seemed to piss the man off even more as he slapped Potter across the jaw. The boy didn't so much as flinch, just rubbed at his jaw, glaring at his uncle. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD THAT YOUR NOT TO USE ANYTHING FROM YOUR FREAK WORD WHILE YOUR HERE BOY?" The other man roared, holding up his Charms book and flinging it across the cupboard.

Potter didn't reply and the other man left the room, leaving the door hanging wide open. He was back in a flash, a large razor blade in his hand.
He wasn't going to use that on Potter, was he? Potter seemed to be wondering the same thing as he stared at him in horror. The man pushed him onto the bed, ripping off his shirt in the process and pinning him down on his stomach.

He pushed the blade into his skin, carving the letter F. "What are you boy?" The boy didn't answer. His uncle slapped him in the head. "I said what are you boy?" "A freak." The man smiled, seeming pleased at his answer. "What do you deserve?" He asked, carving an R into his flesh. "Nothing." He saw Potters face screwing up in pain as blood trickled down his back."Why is that boy?" He asked, carving an E. "Because I'm a freak." "And what about your parents? What were they?" He carved an A into the boys skin. "Freaks." Harry whispered. "That's right boy. It's a damn good thing they went and got themselves murdered by that man. Only one of your lot who seems to have any sense. Hopefully you'll be next." He said, carving the final letter into his back.

He looked at Harry and saw tears streaming down his cheeks. His uncle didn't seem to notice or care as he stood up and slammed the door shut behind him. He heard a lock click from the outside. "No food for a week." His uncle said, walking away.

Severus just stared at the boy, speechless. He couldn't believe what the fucking animal had done to him. He was all for spanking children and sending them to bed without dinner if they misbehaved, but he wouldn't tolerate actual abuse. He had experienced that enough in his childhood to know what it felt like. No wonder Harry never went home for the holiday's. They probably would have locked him up and refused to let him return.

He glanced over to see that Harry was sitting up on the couch, crying silently. "Do you want me to go wake Draco?" He asked. He shook his head no and downed the rest of his Firewhiskey. He couldn't watch him cry like this. He had to comfort him somehow. Slowly, he stood up and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to him. "Harry." That got his attention all right. He had never called him anything but Potter. "This isn't your fault. You know your not what they called you, right?" Harry just shook his head no, tears slipping down his cheeks.

Slowly, he slipped an arm around the boys shoulders to comfort him. He almost jumped back in shock as Harry leaned against his shoulder, burying his face in his robes. He allowed him to sit like that for twenty minutes, letting him calm down. He looked down to see that Harry had fallen asleep. When had he became Harry to him? He didn't know, but he didn't have a problem with calling him by his given name any longer. He felt sorry for him. He'd never had anybody to properly love him.

Albus had loved him, but he couldn't show him as much as he'd have liked to because he was always so busy. Black had loved him as well, but their time together had been short. Too short. Draco loved him, but it was a different kind of love. What the boy needed the most was a father. Severus knew what it felt like to not have a father at the age of seventeen. It felt awful. He wished his own childhood could have been different as well.

As carefully as he could, he moved Harry off of him so he was laying down. He covered him in the thin sheet and summoned a blanket from his room, covering him in that as well. Finally, he removed the boys glasses and lay them on the table before retreating to his armchair. He knew there was no way he was getting any sleep tonight. He was so worried about Remus. He felt stupid at how attached he was to the werewolf. They hadn't been together for very long at all. He couldn't help his feelings, though. He never wanted Remus to leave his side.

He woke to sunlight streaming through the windows and hushed vocies in the hallway. He must have fallen asleep sitting in the chair. Severus moved his neck and almost yelped in pain. He had slept on it wrong. Checking his watch, he saw that it was half past seven. How he had managed to sleep for two and a half hours in that chair, he would never know.

He got out of his chair and began walking down the hallway. Severus glanced in the boys room as he walked past and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. Harry had one of Draco's shoes over his head and was refusing to give it back to him. The other boy was jumping for it, but he wasn't tall enough. It looked as if they had made up.

Quickly, he brushed his teeth, washed his face, changed his clothes, and combed his hair. "Come on breakfast started ten minutes ago." He called as he walked down the hallway. The two boys scrambled up and somehow managed to get to the door before him. He rolled his eyes at their energy and followed them down to the Great Hall. He was surprised to see Draco take Harry's hand just before they opened the doors. They hadn't shown each other any affection in public as far as he knew. Probably for fear of what people would do about it.

They walked hand in hand down the rows, earning tons of stares. Severus kept right behind them. Nobody would mess with them as long as he was around. Their paths were suddenly blocked by a group of Hufflepuff's. Hannah Abbott, Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones, Justin Finch- Fletchley, and Zacharias Smith.

The two groups just stared at each other for a moment. Ernie Macmillan finally spoke up. "We just wanted to tell you that we don't care if you two are together. You've never done anything wrong to us and we support you. Your welcome to come sit at our table any time you want." He looked around, aware that everybody in the Great Hall was watching the exchange with interest. "Thank you. It means a lot that somebody is finally on our side." Draco said.

Severus walked away from the group now that he was aware a fight wasn't going to break out. Taking a seat at the staff table, he wasn't surprised to see the pair taking a seat at the Hufflepuff table and engaging in conversation with the other seventh years. "Well it looks as if some people are finally comin ter their senses." Hagrid observed. He nodded in agreement, glad that they finally had some people on their side.

"You look terrible Severus." Minerva said on his left. "Didn't you get any sleep at all last night?" How could she tell? It wasn't as if he was dead on his feet. "Hardly." He said, pouring a cup of coffee with lots of sugar in it. "Whatever is troubling you?" She asked.

He didn't know what to reply to that. He couldn't very well admit that he missed Lupin and wanted him by his side again. "The orders newest mission." He allowed himself to say. Minerva knew that he and Remus were friends, so it was okay to say that much. "Oooh." She said, a knowing look in her eyes. Did everybody know more about their relationship then they let on?

He didn't say another word, just fingered the necklace Remus had placed on him underneath his robes. He hoped the other man was alright.

Severus was a complete wreck over the next week and a half. He hadn't heard a scrap of news from Remus. He could tell that even some of the Order members were beginning to worry at the meetings that took place in his absence. He was so worried that he didn't even bother to scream and give people detentions for no reason any longer.

Every day he would sweep into his classroom, tell the students what potion they were going to be making, then sit back until the end of class where he'd taken to dismissing them a few minutes early every day. They probably thought that he was being impersonated due to the way he was acting.

Draco and Harry helped with his mood a bit, forcing him to engage in games of Wizard's Chess at night. They also kept his mind of of it a bit, talking to him about how they had spent the summer together in Greece. Telling him of all the rules they had broken throughout their years living in the castle. He would have murdered them alive if he would have caught them doing half the things they told him about. Drinking in the common rooms, creeping through the restricted section, skinny dipping in the lake in the middle of the night, brewing Polyjuice Potion in the bathroom.

They kept him sane during this time. It was different when he was alone. He still couldn't sleep at night as he thought of Remus. He had even gone up to his quarters and slept in his bed one night, creeping back down to the dungeons early the next morning.

He missed the scent that always lingered on the other man. He missed his smile. Longed for his touch. He was starting to think he would never see him again. The mission should not have taken this long. It was just after midnight on the tenth day that Remus had been gone and Severus was on his way outside. He couldn't sleep, once again.

He walked outside, drawing his cloak around himself as the chilly air hit him. He began walking down to the Black Lake, looking at the stars as he went. It was clear out and he could see the constellation Lupus, making him miss the wolf even more. He didn't look away from the constellation as he sat down on the dock on the lake.

He was lost in thought so he jumped about a mile as a voice sounded behind him. "I'm sure he's alright." It was Minerva's voice and she was talking about Remus. He didn't so much as look back at her as he replied. "How do you know?" He asked, not even trying to deny that he was worried about the other man. "If anything really bad would have happened, the Death Eaters would have let it be known."

He didn't reply, just shut his eyes and let the wind ruffle his hair. "I know you miss him, but you can't tear yourself up over it. I can tell that you've barely been sleeping and everyone has noticed how little you've been eating at meals." He felt her sit down next to him as he withdrew the necklace from underneath his robes, running his fingers over the tiny wolf figure.

He glanced up and caught her staring at the necklace. "He must really care for you." She said. "I don't know what your-" He started to say, but was cut off. "You don't have to keep this act up around me, Severus. I know your in a relationship. I see the way you two look at each other. One has to be a fool to miss it. I pass no judgement. Nor would the other members of the staff if they knew. Why are you trying to hide it?"

He blinked, having just absorbed every word she said. She knew about them and she didn't care. He had assumed she would be one of the ones who would judge Remus for being with a man like him. "I'm afraid of what people will think about a man like Remus being with a man like me. I'm an ex Death Eater. I'm known for being alone. I'm a Slytherin. And people know that I didn't get along with Remus and his friends during school. I'm afraid if they knew. That they'd-That they'd try to push him away from me." He finished, feeling a lump rising in his throat. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Remus for that reason. For any reason.

"I highly doubt that people would try to push him away from you. And if that were to become the case, do you honestly think that Remus would allow it? I stand by what I said before, he really cares about you, Severus." Did Remus really care about him? Sure they were together and sure they had grown close, but did he care about him as he had cared for Black? He highly doubted it. "How do you know?" He asked. She pointed at his necklace. "Because he let me wear his necklace?" He snorted.

Minerva shook her head. "That's not just any necklace. His father carved it for him right before he died. Remus told me at the funeral. He wouldn't let you wear that if he didn't care a great amount for you." She finished, standing up. "Come on now, you need to get back in the castle before you catch a cold!" He scowled at her, but followed her anyways, a million thoughts running through his head.

Why the hell would Remus let him wear his father's necklace? He had never seen Black wearing the necklace. Thy were together for two years at the very least. He had loved Black a great deal, there was no doubt about that. He could see it in his eyes everytime he talked about him. So why would he give him the necklace, but not his love? Not only did the man have him worried half to death, but now he had him confused as hell. Idiot Gryffindor.