Retarded In Love

After everything was settled, I was to ride with Ehren, Dave, Johnny, Jeff, Bam, and Dunn. I sat at the very back of the van, crunched as close to the side as possible. I was so angry I'm surprised Dunn or Bam hadn't noticed. After the way Bam acted, I assumed he didn't know what went on with Steve-O and I. What was there to know, really? I don't know why I was worried,

"Hey, Ellie!" Ehren smiled at me and climbed in beside me.

"Hey Ehren." I never took my eyes off the seat in front of me.

"You feeling ok?" He asked in a hushed tone as Dunn climbed into the seat in front of us. I looked over at him now, and he was obviously concerned.

"Yeah. I've just got a little headache. I'm ok."

Ehren nodded, and took the hint that I didn't want to talk, so we listened to Bam talk to Johnny who was sitting in the front seat. Jeff was driving and joined the conversation. They were talking about upcoming stunts and how excited they were. I rested my head in my hands and grimaced at the sweat that had built up on my palms. My stomach growled and I realized it had been days since I had eaten anything.

Soon, we arrived at a decent-sized restaurant that I had never heard of. There was an extremely large room with booths and some tables at the back of the place where Preston, Wee Man, Chris, Steve-O, Rick Kosick, and the rest of the crew were sitting. I saw Rick motion me to come sit by him, which put me in front of Steve-O. Ehren sat beside me, making it Rick, Myself, and Ehren on one side, Chris, Steve-O, and Dave on the other.

"Hey, you must be Ellie. I'm Rick Kosick, cameraman." He smiled at me, and I shook his hand.

"Yeah. I'm Ellie."

"You left before I had a chance to come talk to you, but I heard you like to take pictures." He smiled wide. "Me too. I worked for Big Brother Magazine, which I'm sure you know a lot about. If I remember correctly, you were even in it a few times."

I nodded. "Yeah. You're very talented, I must admit."

"Thanks." He chuckled. "I would really like to see some of your work, as well. It's nice to see fellow photographers. Do you do mostly portraits?"

I nodded as the waitress came out and took our orders. After that was settled, I turned back to Rick.

"Yeah, mostly portraits for me... But sometimes I'll take my camera and just walk around until I find something I like."

He nodded. "Would you be interested in capturing some Jackass moments? I mean, I'll be busy with the camera and there's always enough room for one more person snapping pictures to get a good shot. You never know."

I smiled. "Yeah, sounds awesome. I'm down for it." He nodded triumphantly and joined in on the conversation the rest of the table was having about their lives before Jackass.

"Yeah..." Steve-O laughed. "Well I went to clown school. I was a professional clown."

After that, I lost interest. I didn't want anything to do with that jerk. I gazed around the room, thinking about nothing, blocking everything out. I was still dizzy and shaking. I'm surprised no one had noticed. Or maybe they noticed and decided not to say anything. I didn't know.

What seemed like a lifetime later, many waitresses came back with our food. Other people chatted and enjoyed the food. I ate so fast it surprised me. I was so hungry it was insane. I figured people were watching me, but I didn't care. See, I didn't start off being a pig. I ate slowly, one fry at a time. Then I realized that with the more I ate, the less sick I felt, and I was tired of feeling dizzy...