Retarded In Love

Billy lead me to the center of the dance floor as loud thumping music poured from the speakers. We started swaying to the music, and I spotted Liz and Bam. I giggled at Bam's dancing, then turned my attention back to Billy. He rested his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him. Automatically, I tensed up. He guided my hips for a while, swaying them for me, before I loosened up and he wrapped his arms around my waist loosely, grinding our hips together. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he smirked.

"You're so tense!" He yelled over the music.

"I'm not much of a dancer!" I laughed back.

He pulled me closer to him, if that was possible. "Could've fooled me," he chuckled and flashed me a brilliant smile.

As soon as the song ended, a faster song started to play. Billy and I were still dancing when Johnny ran up beside me and pushed Billy out of the way. I was confused. Johnny started going stupid dance moves like the running man and the sprinkler, and all I could to was watch in confusion as people started to laugh. Then I caught sight of Bam, and he looked angry. Then it all registered. Bam had seen Billy and I, and Johnny was stopping it before Bam could start something.

By now, laughter was erupting everywhere. I joined Johnny in the corny dancing, and so did a few other people. I looked over at Bam, and he still looked mad. I smiled at him, and he smiled back, then grabbed Liz's hand and lead her over to us. He let go of Liz, and grabbed me by the hand and drug me back up to the VIP lounge. He sat down on the love seat and put his head in his hands.

"What the fuck is that, Ellie?" he asked me.

"What?" I sat down next to him.

"You with that guy. What the hell are you doing?"

"Dancing."

"You were a little too close, Ell."

"You're not my father, Bam. I'm sorry to tell you, but you can't control me."

"I'm not trying to control you. I'm trying to protect you." His voice grew, making Jeff look over at us from the table he was sitting at.

"I know..." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him. "And I understand, and I'm glad."

He pushed me away and looked at me, anxiety in his eyes. "I don't want you to find another David, or worse. I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't trust that guy."

I was mad now. "Do you trust Dico?"

He sat silent for a while, thinking. "Yeah... Why?" He asked wearily. I looked at him for a while, hoping things would click. He stared at me, and I could see the possibilities running through his head. "Wait... Dico, was supposed to stay in my room last night, and he... Never came, and this morning... He came out of your room... Oh my God!" Anger flooded his then vacant eyes. "You fucked Dico! I can't believe you fucking did that. You know all he wanted was sex, he doesn't care about you."

"It's not your problem, it's mine, and I wasn't going to tell you because I knew you would freak out." I ignored the stares we were getting from almost everyone within hearing distance.

"Then why did you tell me?" I swore I could see tears filling his eyes.

"Because I love you, Bam. You're my big brother, and I know you worry about me, and that's ok, but you worry too much. It's my life, and you'll always be a part of it, but you can't dictate it... And, don't worry about Billy. Nothing's going on, we were just dancing."

He sat silently for a while, and I put my hand on his shoulder. He pushed me away, then got up and walked back toward the dance floor. I watched him pass Billy on the way, but he walked right by him and didn't say anything. I was mad, but mostly relieved.

"Jeff", I said. He turned to me. "I'm leaving." Jeff nodded, and I made my way to the front door. Billy quickly turned after me, silently following. I pushed through the crowd, apologizing constantly, until I was outside. I took a deep breath, and turned to face Billy.

"Could you take me to the hotel?" I asked him.

He nodded and lead the way to his small beat up car, and I climbed in silently and stared out the window. He revved the engine to life and I gave him short directions when I needed to. A few minutes later, he pulled into the hotel parking lot and killed the engine. We sat in silence for a while, before I turned to him. "Do you want to hang out for a while?"

He nodded and followed me into my room.