Retarded In Love

When we got closer to the clearing, I could year faint yells. It was Bam, but who ever he was fighting with was being extremely calm. I suddenly got nervous as to what we were about to walk into, and seeing as Bam was already angry I didn't think he would be any happier to hear about Dico and I. It was silent for a while, then Bam broke the silence.

"Why would you even fucking think about coming here, then?"

I jumped slightly, and Bran pulled me closer to him. My mind flooded with people it could be. Liz, Maria, David, maybe Jeff had arrived. Old fallen out friends, it could have been almost anyone. I was still running ideas through my mind when we approached the clearing and walked toward the house.

"You fucking hurt her! Do you have any idea exactly what you did?!" Bam was standing on the deck now, facing the house. Dunn was standing beside him, blocking the view as to who it was, but I had a pretty good idea.

It had to be David. It had to be. Anger and sadness and stress and nervousness flooded my body all at once. I wanted to turn and run, but I couldn't. I wanted to scream for him to leave, but I couldn't. All I could do was walk into the line of fire, walk into this mess that just keeps on getting bigger.

"You're fucking stupid if you thought you could just show up like this! Ellie is just getting over it, and if she wanted to talk to you she would have returned one of your calls!" Bam, once again.

"Look, you know we've spent a lot of time together, you were a part of our family. You know how things happen with us, and maybe some day things will all be resolved..." Jess began to speak as we neared the steps. I guess no one heard us... "But not today. Ellie's totally confused, I know she wants to fix things but she's hurt. She's mad as hell, and completely lost. Let her get a handle on her life, give her time to get over it. Just think of everything she's had to take in over the past week or so..."

Jess always understood me, but he was talking like I was a lost fucking puppy coming home from a shelter or something. I wasn't, I had a handle on my life, I knew what I wanted and what I was doing. I tore away from Brandon and hopped up the stairs, saying, "I'm not lost, or confused. I know what I want, and I don't want you here. You sicken me." I pushed passed Jess, then gasped. It wasn't David, it was Maria, and she had streaks of make up down her cheeks. She looked up at me, and smiled slightly, nodding. I could see the sadness in her eyes and it tore my heart in two. No matter what happened, Maria was always like a sister to me and I hated to see her upset, and knowing I was a part in it made me want to jump in front of a car.

I watched her quickly walk away, wavy red hair bouncing off her shoulders. I turned to Bam, shot him a dirty glare, and stormed into the house. I stomped passed my mother in the kitchen, who was asking me what was going on. I pushed passed a confused Dunn in the hallway and flopped down on the couch, burying my face into the cushion. The ugly blue tweed itched at my face as I sighed heavily, but I didn't care. I knew no one wanted to bother me, they were afraid of me when I was mad. It was completely silent for a while until I heard someone walk into the room. I clenched my fists and pushed my face harder into the cushion. I felt a hand lightly rub my arm, and I turned my head to see none other than Brandon Dicamillo, crouched down beside the couch, his lips pressed into a slight sympathetic frown. I blinked slowly and bent the arm he was rubbing up and laced our fingers. He leaned down and kissed my cheek lightly. I sat up and allowed him to sit next to me, before I collapsed onto his chest. He wrapped his arms loosely around me, running one hand through my hair.

Just then, Bam and Jess walked into the room quickly. They must have went to my room first, expecting to find me there. I looked up at the confused and slightly angry expression on Jess's face, then I turned my attention to Bam. He didn't look mad at all, he just sighed, tapped Jess toward the doorway and they walked out. Dico pressed a light kiss to my head and scooted his body to lay against the arm of the couch at angle, me laying comfortably on his chest.

I still didn't know if I had actual feelings for Brandon, but it was nice to have someone I knew to seek comfort from. Someone who actually cares for me, or at least claims so. I scooted up and snuggled my face into his neck, then drifted off to sleep.