Retarded In Love

'Romeo: Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn.

Mercutio: If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down. '

There was a loud noise at my door, and closed my book slowly to look up at Bam standing in my doorway. I sat there staring at him for quite a while, trying to decipher what he was planning this time. Slowly, he walked to my bed where I was sprawled out and sat at the foot of it.

"Ellie... There's something I should have told you a long time ago..." he said. I stared at him silently, waiting for him to go on. This was nothing like Bam. I was wondering what he had broken recently that I didn't know about. I sat up and scooted over to him. "You know how Dunn and I are going to California to start filming for that show?" I nodded. "Well, they saw you in a few of the CKY videos... And they wanted to know if you would join us and be the only female Jackass member, and I told them you would."

I dropped my book and it hit the carpeted floor with a loud thud. My eyes slowly shifted from the book to Bam, who was staring at the ceiling.

"You... You did what?" I asked, bewildered.

"I told them you'd join the cast of Jackass, and now you're stuck and you don't have a choice."

"Bam, I was supposed to go to college!"

"So what? This is so much better. Who cares about high school English teachers, anyway? You're going to be a fucking star, Ellie. A big time TV star."

I fought a smile as the idea filled my brain. I was mad, yeah. I was very mad and scared of what my mother would say when I told her I was dropping out of college after not even one day. I turned to Bam and punched his arm playfully. Within a second, he had me pinned to the floor, my arm twisted behind me.

"So, are you in or not Miss English Major?" He chuckled, twisting harder.

I squirmed just the right way to get loose and crawled across the floor to the other side of my bed quickly. We stared each other down for a while before he leaped across the bed and tackled me, putting me in a headlock.

"Are you in or what?" He asked again.

"Yes!" I gasped. "That's what I was about to say before you dove on me!"

He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, and we both laughed. Then he got up and walked toward my door. "We leave in two days, Ellie. Get packing!" Then he slammed the door.

I sprawled across my bed once again. 'This is going to be interesting...