Dance With the Devil

I didn’t know where I was going; all I knew was that I was going somewhere fast. My mind was racing about a million times a minute and I couldn’t think straight. I would normally never lash out on Nick like that, but he had just been pissing me off so much lately, that I had been holding it in. I needed to talk to someone, badly. I first thought of Eli, but I remembered that he had soccer after school. My mind almost automatically went to Aubrey, and I hoped to myself that today wasn’t the day that she had to go to her dad’s.

I probably should have called her first, to make sure she was actually at her mother’s house, but I was too out of sorts to do anything. So, taking a gamble on myself, I just drove to her mom’s house. I parked on the street in front of the house like I normally do. I got out and walked up to her door then knocked on it, half hoping that she was the one who answered the door. A few seconds later the door swung open and a cute little blonde haired girl with a beret was standing in front of me. I looked at her for a split second and then just walked right in. She stared at me with a confused look. “Please, come in.” She said sarcastically. She shut the door as I walked up to her room. She followed shortly behind.

I walked into her kitchen. “I’m going to shoot myself, Aubrey. I really am.” She walked in slowly, though she didn’t seem concerned with what I had said.

“You don’t have the money for a gun, Karlee.” I stared at her for a second; the tiniest of smiles was on her face.

“You know what I mean.” She giggled then took a seat at the dining room table. She patted the seat next to her.

“Alright, alright. Come, sit. Tell me what’s wrong.” I shook my head, I didn’t want to sit. I simply paced around her kitchen.

“Nick, Nick’s what’s wrong.” I glanced over at her, she looked puzzled.

“I thought you and Nick were okay?”

“So did I. Do you wanna know what happened?” She got up and walked over to her cabinet.

“You’re going to tell me anyway, so sure.” She pulled out a glass and went to the sink to fill it with water.

“Alright, well. We went back to this house after school, like we do almost all the time, but this time his parents weren’t home.” She twirled around automatically and stared at me.

“You were alone?” I nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I know. And so here I am thinking, ‘ok, we’ve been dating for a long time, I really hope he doesn’t think he’s getting what I’m not giving.’” She took a few sips of water.

“I thought you didn’t care about waiting until marriage?”

“I don’t, but having sex with Nick right now just doesn’t seem right. I don’t know but bottom line I didn’t want sex, right?” She nodded. “Well, I don’t really know what he intended for the evening, but we were on the couch kissing and stuff, and then his phone rings.”

“Saved by the bell, huh?” I walked over to her fridge and pulled out a Gatorade.

“Not quite. I mean I like kissing him. I wanted to keep doing that. But his phone rang, and I just thought it was his mom or something,” I took a sip of Gatorade. “I was listening to him on the phone from the other room. I could tell by how he was talking that it wasn’t his mom. You wanna know who it was?”

“I’m scared to ask.”

“It was Axel. So he comes back into the living room after he’s off the phone, and listen to this bullshit I get. He tells me that instead of making out with his girlfriend, he wants to go over to Axel’s house and play video games.” She looked at me wide eyed.

“He said that to your face?” I took another sip and shook my head.

“No, but he said that he was going to go to Axel’s house basically while we were in the middle of making out.” Aubrey began shaking her head to herself.

“Wow, are you serious?”

“I wish I wasn’t.” I started walking over to her couch in her living room, she followed shortly behind. She sat down, and I sat on the edge of the sofa.

“So, are you guys still together? Like what happened afterwards?” I sighed to myself, now partly regretting what I said to Nick before I drove away.

“Well, I yelled at him, and told him that I was sick of him choosing Axel over me. I stormed out, and when I got into my car, he asked me if I was breaking up with him, and I said I didn’t know. Now looking back at it though, I feel like I’m being a bitch. Am I being a bitch?” She looked at me confused as to say that was a stupid question.

“No! Hell no! Kar, you’re his girlfriend and he’s treating you like you’re just a fuck buddy. It’s like Axel is his girlfriend and you’re not. No, you have every reason to be pissed. Honestly, if I were you, I would have broken up with him already.” I got up from where I was sitting on the edge and walked around her living room. I just didn’t want to stay still.

“That’s the thing. I don’t want to break up with him but I want him to stop being a dick.” I wasn’t facing her, I was more so staring at the wall if anything.

“Kar,” I turned around. “How long has this been going on?” I thought for a second, and when I came to my conclusion, I even shocked myself.

“Basically the whole time we were dating. He could never fully cut the umbilical cord from Axel. But I guess I just overlooked it most of the time.”

“You shouldn’t have to take that though. You’re his girlfriend; you should be treated like you’re one of the most important things to him. And if you’re not, then I don’t think you’re in a relationship.” Aubrey was the type of person who always told you what you needed to hear, even if you didn’t want to hear it. And I really liked that about her.

“You’re right. I don’t deserve this. It’s just causing me a lot of heartache.” She shrugged.

“So what are you going to do?” I glanced over at the wall again, this time a picture catching my eye. It was a family portrait of Aubrey, her mom, dad, and sister Ashley. When Aubrey was four, her parents got a divorce. Though, in the past year I know they had been talking a lot, and Aubrey had said that they might possibly try getting back together. I stared at the portrait for a while. They all looked so happy, but that was then. This is now. And they’re on their way to getting back to that happiness. I looked over at her.

“Nothing lasts forever right?” She looked caught off guard by my statement.

“Uh, I guess so.”

“Then maybe this won’t either. If I do break up with him, maybe he just needs a little time to mature. Aubrey I can’t just deny my feelings and say I don’t love him. I do, but I can’t be with him now. Maybe sometime eventually we’ll be together again. But I think I know what I need to do.” She stared at me like I had three heads.

“I think you just completely lost me.” I smiled.

“It’s okay, I know where I am,” I grabbed my keys that were lying on the kitchen counter and started walking for the door. “I’ll call you later, and thanks.” I walked out the door to my car, knowing exactly where I was going.