Where You Belong

Everyone ended up staying over at Jimmy and Leana's that night. I'd become an emotional wreck since reuniting with Zack; a pure basketcase and blubbering mess. I was more than sure my friends were worried for me due to the fact that I had always kept my emotions in check in the past, but my being pregnant and stressed made it so much worse. Of course they had no idea about my situation and would understand if I told them, but with everyone suffering through Zack's current predicament, I didn't plan on telling anyone anytime soon.

I'd had a meltdown that was so bad that both Johnny and Brian had to excuse themselves from the group, only to go drink themselves into oblivion soon after. Matt's temper had flared at the pure sight of me crying; whatever Zack's girlfriend had done to hurt him had angered him so badly that he'd snapped his bottle of beer into tiny shards. Val and Jimmy both had to take Matt to the basement so that he could use Jimmy's punching bag to calm himself down before he hurt someone. Lacy went to go keep an eye on Johnny and Brian, and when they'd gotten to rowdy, she'd called for Michelle to come help her. That left just Leana and I.

I was too hysterical to utter anything even mildly coherent, so Leana simply took to feeding me like a child, knowing I hadn't eaten and would soon become tired from eating. The last I'd remembered before falling asleep was Jimmy carrying me to a guest room and Leana tucking me in, the way a mother would do a child. I guess I'd been reduced to that while in the midst of my hysterics.

I woke up the next morning with an arm draped around my middle. With a frown, I sat up and examined whose arm it was. I smiled softly when I noticed that the arm belonged to none other than Zack. I wasn't sure how he'd gotten into the room where I was, since I'd left him to sleep in the lounge. My guess was that he'd somehow come and found me. I watched as he slept soundly beside me, his mouth turned upside down into a frown. I felt a wave of hurt hit me as I looked at him. He couldn't even sleep peacefully because of whatever had happened. Just as I was going to reach over and run a hand through his disheveled hair, I felt my stomach lurch.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I hissed, ripping Zack's arm from around my middle as I felt the bile rush up my throat.

Clamping a hand down over my mouth, I sprinted out of the room and down the large hallway in search of a bathroom. Since I'd never been in this house, it was harder to find one. I quickly bolted down the staircase when I couldn't find one quickly enough, knowing I'd seen one downstairs by the front door.

I skidded to a stop in front of the door and opened it before dropping to my knees in front of the porcelain toilet, hunching over it and emptying to contents of y stomach into it. I had a strong distaste for vomiting, so this was clearly something about my pregnancy that I didn't enjoy. Just when I thought I was finished, another round took me for surprise, and I lowered my head once more.

A pair of small hands held onto my shoulders at first, before one hand moved up to hold my hair out of my face. I wasn't sure who they belonged to, but I knew that as small as they were, they had to have belonged to one of the girls. I was glad that whoever it was had heard me and come to help since my morning sickness usually hit me hard.

"Jimmy, go get her a bottle of water," Leana's sleepy voice sounded from behind me, and it was then when I knew who was helping me. I was so thankful for her being there for me; I'd always felt slight anxiety attacks whenever I would throw up because it would feel like I couldn't breathe. "I've got you, babe, just let it out," she murmured, using her free hand to rub my back.

I didn't know how long we were both in there for, but I do know that Jimmy had returned with the water rather quickly and stayed with us for quite some time. I was used to throwing up this much when I had bouts of morning sickness, but it seemed to shock them when I finally pulled my head from the bowl. Leana quickly handed me a rag to wipe my mouth, and when I'd finished with it, I tossed it into a nearby trash can.

"What in the hell was that about, Britt?" Jimmy asked from his seat by the doorway, ice blue eyes widened as he gaped at me. I tried to sit up but was unsuccessful, so I simply slumped against the wall of the bathtub.

"Uh," I had to think quickly, "J-just a bug that's been goin' round..." I slurred slightly, raising a hand to my head as if to keep it still from the dizziness I was feeling. I looked at the couple in front of me and saw that Jimmy was still shooting me a confused glance, yet Leana's eyes were on the floor. I couldn't tell what was going through her head at that moment.

"Baby, do me a favor and fix her a glass of orange juice. Start up some toast and bacon in the kitchen; I'll come in a minute and start on everything else," Leana suddenly directed, pushing the bottle of water towards me.

Jimmy nodded and left the room before Leana came towards me, reaching her hands out and pulling me up to my feet. My balance was off, but luckily we were close enough in size that I didn't knock her over. I flashed her an apologetic smile to which she returned, before walking me over to the sink. Using the water, I rinsed out my mouth before she handed me a new toothbrush and some toothpaste from the cabinet. I rigorously brushed the awful taste from my mouth before she helped me over into the living room, leaving Jimmy by himself in the kitchen.

She pulled me in the direction of the dark, leather loveseat in the corner of the room and covered me with a light blanket before sitting next to me. I watched as she looked in the direction of the kitchen for some reason, before looking back to me. I didn't know what she was doing, so I waited for her to speak.

"How far along are you?" she asked in a whisper, her words quick and urgent. I felt my jaw slacken as I looked at her, watching me with a knowing expression on her face. Surely I hadn't given myself away that quickly to someone who hadn't even known me for a full fucking day!

"I-I," I stammered dumbly, feeling my mouth open and close like that of a fish, looking in the direction of the kitchen just as she had done. Jimmy could be heard humming to himself, along with the sound of a frying pan sizzling, "I'm at eleven weeks." I sighed, folding my hands in my lap and staring down at them.

"Is that why you're back in town so suddenly?" she guessed, frowning softly over at me. Well, it was all out in the open now. I decided to just be honest with her. I couldn't speak, so I just nodded. "Bastard wouldn't man up, would he?"

"Understatement," I muttered, now feeling irritable and worthless.

I'd promised myself to hide this pregnancy for as long as I could. I knew what people would think and say about me, and as I right as my mother had been, I was never one to want sympathy for myself. And that's exactly how people would treat me the second they found out. They'd start being extra nice and extra helpful, or all smiley when you caught them staring at you. I'd seen it happen to others before and I sure didn't want that for myself.

"I'm here for you, y'know," Leana stated after a short bout of silence, "I know we just met, I can tell that none of those boys or the girls know anything about this, and I know it's gotta be hard to just keep this to yourself--"

"If no one else has noticed, how did you pick up on it?" I asked, desperately wanting to know. She chuckled softly to herself, biting her lip and looking toward the kitchen before back to me. Jimmy was still tending to the breakfast.

"I had a close friend who'd been pregnant in high school," she explained simply, "And from what the guys have told me, they'd never you seen you cry, ever. You're tough as nails. Sweetie, you weren't even here for ten minutes before you had a meltdown yesterday," she mentioned, and I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Sorry, I'm apparently the emotional type of pregnant woman these days," I mumbled, keeping my voice low so that only she could hear. She giggled at that.

"I see that," she chuckled with a small sigh, "And when you came from the kitchen with a bag of Hot Cheetos, some of that cake, and a bowl of relish, I knew something was up."

"Damn," I bit my lip, "I didn't think I was that obvious..."

"You're not, but we're women here. We tend to notice things. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need me, and that your secret's safe with me, okay?" she smiled softly, and I couldn't help but to shed a couple of tears as I pulled her into a tight hug.

"Sorry," I apologized for crying, causing her to laugh, "One day I'll get the waterworks in control, but I'm just so grateful. Grateful for having met such a good friend like you, and grateful that Jimmy has found someone so special to call his." I mumbled into her shoulder.

"I'm glad you approve, Britt," she giggled, hugging me back as Jimmy called our names from the kitchen, "Well, that's our cue to get first dibs before everyone else wakes up."

***

"You feeling okay, Britt?"

I turned to see Johnny standing over me as I lay on my side on the couch in the living room. Leana had allowed me to borrow a pair of her shorts and a tank top that was comfortable enough for me to wear given my condition. I couldn't find a comfortable position as I lay on the couch, therefore I kept squirming and moving around to get comfy.

"Yeah," I sighed softly, blowing a loose strand of hair away from my face, "My back just hurts so I can't really get comfortable," I said. I figured I could be honest about that; it was a normal enough feeling for a girl, right?

Johnny thought about it and smiled with a nod of his head, "I gotcha. You need anything?" he asked with a small smile, bending down to give me a light hug. I grinned as I hugged him back, allowing him to press a kiss to my forehead. It was something everyone seemed to do with me, I guess because I was the youngest and smallest of the group when we were all growing up.

"I'm okay," I smiled politely at him, "But thanks for asking, John."

"No prob," he smiled before walking off into the kitchen, most likely to grab a beer.

Just as he left, Leana walked in with what looked like a body pillow gathered in her arms. It was bigger than she was, but she managed to carry it in anyways. She spotted me and smiled in my direction before walking over.

"Lee, you're a fucking lifesaver," I nearly moaned as she placed the long pillow behind me on the couch. I leaned back into it, sighing with happiness as I felt some of the tension in my back begin to ebb away. She giggled before handing me a glass of juice with a wink.

"Don't I know it!" she smirked as she walked back out of the room.

The room was left quiet again, and I looked around, my eyes spotting a clock that hung on the wall. It was now nearing eleven in the morning, and everyone was now up. Matt and Val had decided to go home and get a little time to themselves, but promised to be back over later on in the day. Lacy had left to go to work, but Brian, Michelle, Johnny, and Zack had stayed. Johnny had just woken up, and Zack was still asleep upstairs. No one bothered to wake him. It was clear that he needed his rest.

"Where'd you go this morning?"

Speak of the Devil.

"I was up early this morning," I answered honestly, though I didn't elaborate as Zack slowly trudged into the room, eyeing me and the body pillow, "Back hurts. How'd you sleep?" I asked softly, watching as he walked over to me, sitting down by my feet. I was short enough that my legs didn't take all the room on the couch, so he was able to sit.

I watched as he shrugged, "Okay, I guess," he said with a small sigh, shoulders hunching forward as he stared at his sock covered feet. I watched as his eyes slowly started to brim with tears and took a deep breath, willing myself to control my own emotions. I had always been extremely sensitive to his feelings, but being pregnant was throwing me all off track.

"C'mere, babe," I sighed, leaning forward and opening my arms.

Zack turned his body towards me, keeping his eyes trained downward. I could tell he was embarrassed about feeling the way he did, yet he couldn't help how he felt. Within seconds, I was pulled across the couch and into his chest as he hugged me to him. I said nothing else as I allowed him to silently cry.

It honestly killed me to see him so down in the fucking dumps, especially when I knew it was all over a fucking girl. He'd always been so strong minded. Quiet, maybe, but he knew what he wanted and stood by it. It was why we'd both gotten along so well growing up. Back then, he never would've allowed a single girl to get him down like this, but at the same time, he reminded me of myself. Never in a million years would I have thought I could ever get myself into this position. Crying over a man and feeling brokenhearted and lonely all the time. It just wasn't us.

I noticed the way his body was quivering, meaning he was trying to hold his emotions in. Somehow, he could tell that I was a little extra delicate than usual, and was trying to keep himself together for me. I had to smile at his consideration, though that was always how he'd been. His grip gradually became tighter and tighter around me, but I refrained from saying anything. I felt warm tears slide down my neck and collarbone just as his sniffles sounded throughout the silent room. He began quivering violently, and it was then that I heard his soft cries.

I'd then come to the conclusion that no one else needed to know about my current predicament. It was clear that my best friend was going through something even worse, and that's where everyone's attention needed to be. We couldn't afford to have them worrying over the both of us.

I would do whatever it took to make sure my best friend got better again.