Cursed

“Finn! Come take out the trash!” My dad called from the kitchen. I just stood up and went to do the task, Kieran following.

I turned to the boy following me and said, “What?”

“I’ll come with you! It’s kind of dangerous out there. I saw a wolf out there last night, actually. Not that wolves are always dangerous, I mean the one I saw just ran away after I saw it so uh… I’ll just come with you.”

“Just assume that all wolves are dangerous, Kieran,” I warned. My family and I all know better than to attack anyone but real wolves don’t have the capacity to understand that they can’t. I don’t want him to get hurt. But since we’re indistinguishable to other wolves to the untrained eye, he wouldn’t know.

When we got back, Kieran went on and on about tons of subjects, glossing over some and going into full-blown rants about others. I didn’t really know what to say though. I’d never been locked in a conversation for this long. Though, perhaps Kieran picked up on that and could sense my fear of saying the wrong thing and offending him. I liked watching his facial movements, the crease in his lips that formed a smile, the way his eyes shone up at me as he talked.

I wondered if it was my senses that forced me to look at him the way I knew I was or if it was… actual, genuine intrigue and… just simply liking him. My aunt said that he was a match for my tastes, physically. That being said, it obviously counts for something.

“It’s like you’re in a trance!” Kieran said, waving his hand in front of my face as if trying to snap me out of looking at him. I was suddenly embarrassed at my behavior. I hadn’t meant to look at him like that for so long, but I couldn’t help it.

I wondered if my senses were clouding my judgment on whether I liked him like that or not. If I were to decide whether I liked him or disliked him, I’d say I liked him but… I’m not sure if it’s my senses or just… me.

“I’m not,” I nearly growled. I nearly gasped as I realized that I said it so harshly. “Sorry.”

“It’s no problem! I know you’re not so great with people,” Kieran said. “Your manners are downright deplorable!”

”I’m surprised you know that big of a word,” I smirked.

“Hey! Jerk,” He pouted. “Anyways, I’m kinda tired, so I think I’ll sleep ri-ght here.”

He flung himself into my bed and put his arms behind his head and let out a long sigh.

“But that’s my-”

“Oh, come on, it’s not like there’s not enough room for you too!” When he caught my expression, he furrowed his brow and said, “Don’t give me that look! It’s not that weird!”

But it was, it was a girl thing to do. I know that Shailey does that whenever she has any of her female friends over. Neither of us were girls though, so it couldn’t be normal. And how could I count on sleeping if he was right next to me? I could already picture his sleeping face and hearing the even tone of his heart beating… the way his eyelashes might caress his cheeks. Okay, I was going to give myself a heart attack, or a nosebleed if I thought about this any further.

….The soft contours of his body brushing against mine. Shut up! Stupid brain…

“It is weird. I’ll just sleep on the couch,” I said, even though the larger part of my conscious was screaming at me for turning down the opportunity. But the logical part of my mind congratulated me from doing the thing that could ruin me. I knew I might end up doing something I’d regret if I took his offer and I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t want to be rejected about anything, so I was always the one who rejected him. Because of what I was, I’d just get hurt. Kieran would come to fear me, like last night.

“Hey, you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that!” He poked my forehead where it was creased. Then he took his hand away. “But how about I sleep on the floor?”

“Uh, sure,” I compromised. I threw myself into bed, kicking up the smell of him from within my sheets. I let go of my self-control and turned over to face the wall, out of his sight and took a deep inhale. It smelled so good; strawberries mixed with Kieran’s individual scent.

I was pretty okay with his scent now, but it was still so appealing to me. I fell asleep not long after Kieran did though.

It wasn’t much later that I woke up with Kieran next to me, his fingers lightly curled, his eyes shut and his breathing shallow.

I figured it might… it might just be okay to touch his face. It made me feel perverse and sneaky and underhanded to do this while he was sleeping. I could just place the blame on my instincts. So I let my fingers skim the flesh of his face. His skin was cold though. He must have moved up here because the floor was cold. In that case, I might as well not wake him up.

But, needless to say, I couldn’t sleep the rest of that night with him next to me.

*~*~*~*~*~*

“I think it’s great that you live so close to Shailey, you can visit her any time!” Kieran exclaimed as we walked over to Shailey’s as it became late afternoon.

“If you say so,” I shrugged.

“Kieran!” Shailey squealed and jumped onto Kieran in a hug. I clenched my fist as I saw that. It made me a bit angry for no real explainable reason except that maybe… maybe I really do like him just as a person. That… wouldn’t be too horrible… would it? I mean… maybe if it’s him…

I shook that thought from my head because then Shailey was leading us back to her yard to join the other people there.

As night fell, Kieran started to tell a story as we sat together on a bench around the fire.

“You guys want to know the reason why I moved? Yeah? Well, one night, I was tucked away safely in my bed and suddenly I was hearing noises, like little footsteps. And me, being my brave self, got up and was looking around the house. Both of my parents were asleep too. I didn’t know what it could be. I heard the footsteps again and saw a flash of clothing as it headed down our hallway. The door to the garage was opened and I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I went in anyways. And what I saw was…”

He looked around to make sure he had everyone’s rapt attention. Something unexpected happened though, his fingers brushed my hand lightly before coming back up so he could talk with gestures. “And it was a gnome! And he was stealing my damn socks and made his getaway out the garage door.”

There was a collective “Aw man…,” and “Kieran you suck!” But everyone laughed anyways. Even me, and I gave him a gentle smile before locking eyes with Shailey. The smile instantly faded before Shailey came up to me and pulled me away from the crowd.

“Finn, how long do you think I’ve known you?” She asked.

“Too long?”

“Damn right!” She yelled. “You wanna tell me when you started liking Kieran?”

“Uh… we reconciled last night I guess; we’re… friends now I suppose.”

“You know what I mean. The way you looked at him was like a puppy’s adoring eyes for its master,” she accused.

“Are you trying to make fun of me because I’m…”

“No, Finn, I know you like him,” she tried to clarify.

How could she claim to know that when even I don’t!? So I turned on my heel to walk away only to bump right into none other than Kieran, who I walked into with enough force to push us both to the ground with me on top of him.