Cursed

It felt so good to touch Kieran again. I was completely in control too. I wish I could prove to Shailey that I would do everything in my power to keep him from coming to harm by me.

I think I just had one chance to convince Shailey that I could be with him without hurting him, or we could come to a compromise or something. I would beg if I had to, just to be able to be around him again. I never realized how much I missed him until I couldn’t hang out with him though.

“Shailey,” I called out to the girl next to me in the hallway.

“Yeah?” She asked, not bothering to look at me.

“I can’t avoid Kieran all the time,” I hinted.

“And?”

“And I think maybe… we could hang out while supervised or something. Anything,” my tone dropped out of desperation. Her face dropped to a frown and I thought she would yell at me again.

Instead, she sighed and looked down. “I know this doesn’t seem fair. But it’s not fair to Kieran that he has no idea what you are and that you have no intention of telling him. Your friendship would be based on lies.”

Instead of just getting moody as usual, I stood my ground. Kieran was something, someone I wanted more than anything. I wanted to get upset, I wanted to yell and scream because I wasn’t getting my way. “I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt him.”

“I know, but does your other self know that?” She asked. ”Will the monster inside you stay his hand?”

“Is that what your parents told you? That I’m not in control when I’m a wolf?“ I stood up straight and looked her dead in the eye.

“What about the full moon?” She asked.

“That is a special night reserved for us to reacquaint ourselves with nature; when the moon pulls us back to our other world. Just for a night,” I repeated from one of the legends my mother used to tell me.

“Nothing more?”

“I’m surprised your parents didn’t tell you all of that. But, yeah, nothing stronger than that. It just makes us want to run,” I told her.

I watched her resolve crumble and her face fall as she gave in to me. “Okay, listen, you guys can hang out but only when I’m around or at school.”

“Thank you,” I breathed. It felt wrong though, having to thank someone for letting me do something that normal humans can do any day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, I was back in first period as I promised Kieran. “Finnegan!” He jumped onto me, latching on with his arms and legs, sending us toppling over. Then he pulled away, sitting on my stomach. My breath completely caught in my throat and I felt like I couldn’t breathe because he was so close. “You have so much make-up work!”

I had wanted to hug him just to show how much I missed him, but I didn’t quite get the chance. I could just imagine the look on his face if I did that.

He’s the only friend I ever fought Shailey to have and it paid off. I couldn’t go out with him or love him openly, but this was good enough for me. I could be satisfied like this.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Do you and Shailey want to come over?” I asked quietly as we sat in the car.

“Hells yeah!” Kieran squealed.

Shailey looked from me to Kieran before sighing. “Fine.”

At my house, my parents greeted my guests before we all walked back to my room. I turned on a game for Kieran and I to play while Shailey tried to finish up a report on my computer.

Kieran yelled as he won one of the matches against me.

“Settle down, it’s not that big of a deal,” I told him, chuckling softly.

“But it is! What if all the gnomes were working against you! You would feel like this is a pretty big accomplishment!” He cried.

I grinned at him before looking back at the screen. I heard the squeaking of the computer chair as Shailey announced she was leaving to get a drink.

I put my controller down before stretching. As my hands went down, one of them was suddenly caught by Kieran. I thought it had just been an accident before he laced our fingers together. He looked thoughtfully down at our hands, as if admiring the way they fit together.

As much as I loved the feel of his hand in mine, I forced him to let go as my cheeks caught fire and I blushed furiously.

A few moments of awkward silence later, Shailey came back. “Why so quiet?”

“Huh?” Kieran asked dumbly. “Oh, just waiting for Finn to just his character.”

“Y-yeah,” I lied.

“Whatever, I need to get home,” she said then she turned to me. “You can take Kieran home since you’re the only one with access to a car at the moment.”

She gave me a look that told me I’d better be on my best behavior.

She walked across the street to her house as Kieran and I got into my car. I heartbeat sped up at he smiled at me. I wished I could be like this all the time, but I knew there’d be a time when Kieran would begin a relationship with someone other than me and that I’d be left empty afterwards, but for now, I just wanted to be near him.

As I pulled up to his driveway and put my car into park, Kieran suddenly leaned over the armrests and planted a kiss on my cheek.

I was thankful it was dark so he couldn’t see the deep blush that erupted on my cheeks. I wanted so much to pull him back over to me and claim his lips. But I knew that if I did that, I’d be misinterpreting him completely.

I mean, this… this “flirting” that he’s doing, it’s not real, it couldn’t be real, could it? No, that’s impossible. Kieran couldn’t actually… possibly… like me… could he? I prayed that he didn’t, I don’t think I could bear it if I had to turn him down and see him so sad when it’s something that I want as well.