Cursed

I wanted Kieran to feel safe at all times and being a werewolf wasn’t exactly helping that. It scared me to think how easily I could hurt him. I cared about Kieran a lot, but I completely lost it when I saw him even get close to Shailey on the full moon. And even if he could forgive me, I didn’t think I could forgive myself. But I still wanted to hear sweet words from him and I wanted to kiss him and be able to be with him freely without constantly worrying about Shailey’s parents finding out. But maybe he’ll realize that we shouldn’t be together anymore because of what I did to him last night.

On the plus side, I wouldn’t have to see him look completely rejected and sad when I tried to break things off with him because he would be the one to. It’s okay if I’m the one who’s sad. It was my fault for being what I was.

However, my expectations of him always seem to fall short of what he actually does. Kieran was so very aggressive and didn’t give up easily so it shouldn’t have surprised me when he was leaning against my car in the parking lot after I’d carefully constructed the day so I wouldn’t have to run into him. I wanted to break down right then and cry and beg for him to forgive me.

As soon as he sees me, he demands that I talk to him.

But I cowered and tried to deny him. “No… we shouldn’t… I should get home,” I nearly whimpered. I wasn’t very strong against him anymore. I felt as if I couldn’t resist his demands.

“About last night,” he starts as he denies me access to my own car. And then I saw his arm and I felt so guilty that I wanted to just look at the area and treat it and care for him. But if I did that, I’d break my resolve. However, that resolve completely crumbles as he explains just what I’d seen that night. “… I know you were worked up because of the full moon and that’s why you did what you did.”

I gritted my teeth in anger. It didn’t matter if it was the full moon or not, I still betrayed him. “The full moon isn’t some kind of excuse!” I was so angry at myself for not being able to control it. But I let my tone drop to a regretful whisper. “I still shouldn’t have done it. I hurt you.”

He looked at me, puzzled. “It’s barely a scratch. You’re overreacting.”

He didn’t get it, did he? Was transforming into a wolf not enough to prove to him that I was a monster? It could have been so much worse. “I’m not… because what if next time I do something worse. I swore to myself I’d protect you but I ended up being the one to hurt you.”

I shook lightly as I stood. But it instantaneously stopped as I felt his hands around my face, cupping it gently. But he does something else I don’t expect and he kisses me, smiling as he does so. I couldn’t last against it and started pressing back, my defenses completely crumbling against the warmth.

And right there he forgives me and says it’s an accident and begs me to never avoid him again like I do.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We ended up back at my house, just cuddling, with him on my lap. His arms were wrapped around my neck and his legs facing sideways.

“Finn, you really shouldn’t be so down on yourself, I mean really,” he told me as his face was in the crook of my neck.

“…” I was quiet after that. I knew he was trying to comfort me and I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t helping. I just loved holding him like this as we watched the TV.

“I’m being completely cereal!” He squealed.

“Oh, I can definitely tell,” I said. “But… I’m happy… that we’re together.” I felt pretty sheepish telling him that. I was definitely shy about telling him such things.

“I love it when you’re honest,” he sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around my neck for a second to express a hug.

But then he grabbed my wrists as if he were playing or like he was going to hold my hands but then he pushed them back behind me as he straddled my legs, pinning them to the ground. He held me as a prisoner against my bed. I knew I could easily overpower him, but, honestly, I just wanted to see where this would go. I gave him a throaty moan as I felt our hips collide.

Then Kieran grinned evilly as he heard it. He attacked my lips, quickly slipping his tongue into my mouth and began rocking his hips slowly against mine. The movements were almost painful and so very good as they ignited flames in the pit of my stomach.

However, he only did this for a minute or two before he said, “We should probably wait until we’re alone.”

“Tease,” I groaned as he got off of me and stood up.

“Hey, come with me,” he said suddenly, ignoring the agony he had created. “I just… want to do something.”

My face caught fire with a furious blush.

“Not like that, silly,” he said, chuckling before he took my hand and helped me to my feet.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Outside,” he answered, smirking. He pulled me along until we escaped out the backyard door.

We walked into the woods together for a few minutes until the house was just barely visible. “What are we doing out here anyways?”

“I… want to see you as a wolf,” he said quietly, wringing his shirt with his hands.

“Why?”

“The only time I saw you as one, it was really dark. I want to memorize what you look like so if I see you one day, I’ll know it’s you and not some weird wolf trying to help the gnomes steal my socks.”

“… You… might not want to see the actual transformation,” I warned him.

He titled his head and looked at me, confused.

“It’s just… it’s not the prettiest thing. There’s no puff of smoke to hide it,” I explained to him.

“Oh, I see,“ he said before turning his back so I could change.

I let my bones pop easily and remold to become the semblance of a wolf.

However, I couldn’t talk as a human would in this form because I now lacked the physical capabilities. I tugged on his shirt to gain his attention.

He slowly turned around to face me and when he saw me, he smiled. “You even have a cute tail!”

My ears laid back at the comment. Then he suddenly sat on the ground and let out a big sigh. I nuzzled his arm as if the ask what was wrong.

“It’s weird,” he said. My tail went between my legs. Did he mean that I was weird? Then he looked up at me and laid a hand on my head. “It’s like I know what you’re saying without you saying anything.”

“You’re not even a scary wolf! You’re more like a giant puppy,” he laughed before hugging me.