Cursed

After arriving home, I find myself hiding from my parents, quietly standing beside the entrance to the kitchen with my back pressed against the wall. The two have no idea I’m home but are still whispering to one another. I can hear the tears in my mothers voice.

“It can’t happen again,” she says, hiccupping through her tears. “I c-can’t lose another one.”

“Don’t worry, Angela. Things are going fine, things will be ok.” I’m picturing dad holding her as she cries and maybe I should go in there and hold her too…but I can’t. I find myself slowly backing away before leaving the house just as quickly and quietly as I had entered it.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I decide to go for a walk and try to get my mind off things. I try to forget about the little sister I lost 7 years ago. Though I never met her, I still loved her. I was 10 and beyond excited when mom told me about the baby growing inside her. Everyday I’d come home from school and lay my head against her stomach, desperately trying to hear my little brother or sister within. As moms stomach grew, my love for the child grew.

I couldn’t wait. A lot of my friends had little siblings and although they admitted how annoying they could be I knew they loved them so much. I wanted one of my own. I remember telling dad if it was a girl I’d protect her from all the boys in the world. If it were a boy we’d play video games and watch porn together. Dad didn’t really agree with the last part…

So when mom told me it was going to be a girl, I was ecstatic. I even helped them pick out clothes and toys. We had her room prepared for her before she was even here. When mom went into labor all I could think about was how it would feel to hold her in my arms. But I never got to…

Mom was miserable after losing the baby. She hardly left the house. She talked less and less, refused to eat or spend any time with me or dad. She locked herself away in the babies room and cried herself to sleep at night. She thought there was something wrong with her, that it was her fault. For months she didn’t act like herself. She walked around the house like a zombie and I was scared. I don’t want to ever see her like that again.

Enough of that though! I went for a walk to forget about it, geesh. I really need to stop letting my brain run off on its own! Sighing, I look up at the hill I’ve managed to find. Walking up it, I realize that I can see most of the town from up here. It’s a beautiful view so I sit down, pulling my knees against my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

A gust of wind blows so my skin breaks out with goose bumps. I probably should have worn a jacket…or just kept Finn’s and never returned it, hehe. I will make that boy talk to me! He will talk to me and we’ll become friends. That boy will regret not talking to me in the first place! And he won’t be a complete penis muncher to me. I don’t care how long it’ll take or what I’ll have to do. I shall succeed!

No one can resist me. No one.

Sighing, I rest my head on my arms. The sun is starting to set, it’s a really nice view. I think this will be my new hang out spot. I declare this hill, Kieran’s Hill, where Kieran can come and think about anything and everything without being bothered and those who dare to disrupt his concentration shall face the gallows!

As I’m thinking this I see something move from the corner of my eye. Snapping my head to the side, I see Finn standing just a few feet away. When he realizes that I’ve caught him, he turns to walk away. Oh there is no way in hell he’s getting away! No more Mr. Nice guy, I will make him talk to me!

“Finnegan!” I shout and it’s kind of funny the way he speeds up his walk. At the same time it hurts my feelings. I’m not that annoying, am I? I chase after him even with the idea of him finding me obnoxious.

I manage to catch up to him and once I do, I wrap my arms around one of his. He snorts and glares down at me, stopping in his tracks. “Why are you touching me?”

“Because I’m cold,” I reply and I realize that my teeth are actually chattering from how cold I am. I hadn’t realized I was so cold until now. Finn realizes it too and stares at me like I’m an idiot, he probably thinks I am one. Sighing, he grumbles to himself and contemplates something before handing me his jacket. I gasp. “Finny, are you being nice and offering me your jacket?”

“Take it before I change my mind,” he snaps, shoving it into my arms. I laugh and throw it around me, not minding at all that he’s given it to me. Wasn’t I just thinking that I should steal his jacket and keep it forever?

“What a gentleman,” I tease, elbowing him playfully. “I wasn’t aware you were capable of not being a penis muncher.”

“Penis muncher?” Finn raises an eyebrow at my choice of words.

“Yep! That’s what I’ve dubbed you in my mind since that’s what you are…a complete and total penis muncher.”

Finn stares blankly at me for a few moments making me think that he’s trying to think of a way to escape me but I won’t let him. We’re going to talk. He’s going to be nice to me and we’re going to be friends. That’s just how it is and he’s going to live with it.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks out of the blue, taking a seat in the grass. I’m shocked by his actions because I kind of expected him to try and leave. Maybe he has realized that I’m stubborn and will never allow that? “It’s cold and you don’t even have a jacket.”

“I do now!” I laugh, taking a seat beside him. Wrapping my arms around myself, I giggle. Ah, yes it is so nice to have his jacket back. It’s so warm. I’m seriously contemplating “borrowing” it and never returning it. “And I was just out here to think.”

“You’re capable of thought?”

“Don’t sound so shocked!” I gasp, faking hurt. I look back at the sky, which is growing darker by the minute. “Besides…why are you out here so late, Mr. Scrooge?”

Finn sighs, “I like taking walks sometimes.”

“I figured. Your jacket smells like pine tree’s.”

“You were smelling my jacket?” Finn looks away from the sun set to stare at me. I grin innocently. “That’s kind of creepy…give it back.”

“No way! Do you know that scent is one of the reason people are attracted to one another? Along with body shape, the structure of someone’s face and symmetry,” I say randomly, thinking back onto something I read while surfing the web. It’s strange what someone can accidentally slip upon while searching the internet. “So all those guys and girls that wear shitty perfumes and colognes should just give it up and accept their B.O!”

“That’s…disgusting.”

“You’re disgusting, shut your face!” I shout, shoving a finger into his nose. The boy wrinkles it in discomfort and rubs the slightly red appendage. Staring at Finn I notice something different…there’s a slight smirk on his lips.

Finn is…smirking. Finn has never done anything but growl or scowl at me. Seeing the small smirk on his lips makes me smile and say, rather triumphantly, “You’re smirking!”

It disappears immediately. “I am not.”

“You were! Don’t lie to me…I saw it with my own two eyes!” I point to said eyes for emphasis. Sighing, Finn shakes his head and stands, brushing the dirt from his jeans. I pout because I don’t want him to leave. We were actually talking for once!

“It’s getting late,” Finn says more to himself than me, staring up at the moon as he does. “You should get home.”

“What if I don’t want to go home?” I grin, getting up anyways. He’s right. My mom is probably worried and beginning to wonder where I’m at. I just don’t want to admit to Finn that he’s right.

“Then don’t but give me back my jacket,” Finn orders, holding out his hands for said material. Reluctantly, I return his jacket but make a mental note to find some excuse to steal it later. But since I am planning to make Finn be my friend than he’ll always give me his jacket. Right? Right. So I must succeed! I have no other choice.