Black Sheep

The four of us (Kate, Will, Harry and I) sat in a small booth in a pub, just outside of London. It may have taken over half an hour to get there, but it was worth it for a quiet night out, especially since Harry and I came out as a couple. We sat down and the conversation started flowing quite quickly.
“Becca has some news.” Harry chirped in.
“Really? Do tell.” Will said, sipping his wine.
“I’ve left the newspaper. I leave next Tuesday.”
“That’s wonderful news! Father will definitely be pleased.” He said. “So what will you do instead?”
“I’m meeting up with an old contact on Thursday who is looking for a new co-producer for the news at ITN.”
“That’s brilliant! I didn’t know you knew so many people.” Kate said.
“It’s all just people I met through university. I focussed more on work experience and contacts that I maybe should’ve done.”
“So you’ll be able to still use your degree, just in a different field.” Will said
“Exactly. Most of my degree was in broadcasting so it’s something I really love doing.”
“So what would you be doing in this new job, if you were to get it?” Kate asked
“It’s partly logistics, ensuring the credibility of what news we’re broadcasting, and working with the team behind the scenes to make it look good.”
“So it’s definitely a backstage role.” Harry said with a smile.
We left the pub around 11 o’clock and headed back for Kensington. We spoke about anything and everything on the way home, keeping the atmosphere light-hearted. We pulled up on the drive and Will and Kate headed straight to bed- Kate complaining of being tired a lot lately. Harry and I decided to lounge around for a while before we went to bed.
“What did Wills mean when he said your father would be happy that I wasn’t at the paper anymore?” I mused.
“Well…” He started, and then went quiet while he was thinking. He sat, staring into space, opening his mouth every so often, as if he was piecing the words together. “My father is quite wary of you working in the hands-on side of the media. He thinks that it could be an issue, security wise.” I went quiet too, letting the words sink in.
“But he knows me. He knows that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, or any member of your family.”
“I know darling, but we’ve been in too many situations where we were friends with members of the media and certain information was leaked or fabricated.” His voice softened slightly.
“And what do you think of all this?
“I love you.”
“And I love you too but that doesn’t change this.”
“I love you, and I don’t care what job you do. I don’t even care if you have a job at all. But I want you to do what makes you happy.”
“But you were over the moon when I first mentioned it.”
“I’m just happy that you’re happy.”
“Don’t lie to me Harry. You said you were proud of me.”
“That’s because you weren’t happy in your job.”
“No Harry, I was perfectly happy until you came along. I had a great job, a great agent and a great life. Now look at me: I hardly speak to anyone other than you, Wills or Kate; I’m cooped up in here most of my time; and you’re hardly here anyway. In truth Harry, I quit this job for you.”

“You hardly had a great life Becca: You were a mess. You didn’t know who the hell you were spending time with, never mind what a state you were getting yourself into or what drugs you were taking. I wanted you to better yourself.”

“Why? Wasn’t I good enough for you?” I stood up, choosing to sit on the arm of the chair in the corner of the room.

“No, you weren’t. But now look at you. Look at what I’ve done for you.”

“You’ve made me unhappy, that’s what you’ve done. I always thought I was strong enough to know what I wanted, but you come along and you just haze everything.” At this point I was almost shouting.

“How have I made you unhappy? I’ve given you everything I can. What more do you want from me?”

“I want to be me!” Hot, salty tears started flowing down my face.

“You are being you. You’re the beautiful, kind-hearted, young woman that I met all that time ago.” He stepped towards me, reaching out to hold my hand. I stepped further away.

“This isn’t me Harry. I think I left the real me back then. This isn’t me. I’m just what you want me to be. I’ve painted myself like this to fit in with you and all the expectations that come with you.”

“I didn’t ask you to!”

“But I had to; otherwise you would’ve just walked away.”

“Maybe I should’ve.” He mused, looking away.

“What?” things eventually went quiet between us.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have even bothered. If you were going to be unhappy I would have never put you in this position.” He said quietly, just loud enough for me to hear.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered with you.” We both looked at each other and then looked away quickly as if we were ashamed of what we’d said. Harry walked towards me, his hands reaching for mine, which I didn’t deny. I was exhausted with arguing

“Rebecca, do I make you happy?” I smiled slightly, breaking eye contact to look at the floor. “What are you smiling at?”

“That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Rebecca.”

“That’s because I’m serious: do I make you happy?” My eyes watered slightly while I thought of my answer. Harry sighed, let go of my hands and started to walk away. I looked up, having made my decision. I ran, sliding in front of him as he started to climb the stairs. I planted my lips onto his with the most passionate kiss I could muster. We eventually broke apart.

“You make me the happiest woman in the world.”