V-E-R-S-T-E-H-E-N

I get paranoid about things a lot of times, but you probably already know that. Today I realized something, though. People rarely ever text me first, well… ever. That kind of makes me think nobody likes me. I guess I can’t blame them, I don’t much like me either, but it’s still a lonely feeling to think about.
I guess the feeling that's even worse is the way nobody takes me seriously.
A lot of times I wish Alex at least would take me seriously, but I know I joke around with him so much that I don’t think he can anymore. I guess that’s okay. It’s good that we make each other laugh, or at least entertain each other enough that we’re still friends.
---
I guess I always have the slender man. He always finds me first.
---
My body convulsed. I felt sick. I panicked. I needed more pills, I forgot to take my morning amphetamines. My head hurt, nothing was right. I was shaking.
I don’t need the drugs… I know I don’t need them.
I rushed over to the counter, grabbed the bottle, took two pills, and curled up on the couch.
I’ll feel better soon. I know I will.
---
I didn’t notice that my phone went off while I was waiting for my sick feelings to subside. I sighed for a second and looked around for something to do. Everything was clean already, I had no more homework… Painting was all I could think of, and so the picture came into place.
The slender man stood from a corner, the long tentacles from his back were dripping blood and strangling the ghost bride. She was pretty but her eye was black and dripping blood. She had my hair, but she was still so much prettier than me. Everyone’s so much prettier than me.
The painting took me a few hours to complete, but I didn’t have anything else going that day so I was satisfied with it. I love being on Adderall, focus comes so pure and easy. I become so productive.
I’m not addicted I just like the feeling of being on it.
---
A few Ambien should get me to sleep… Not too many or I’ll wake up feeling woozy again…
---
The slender man was outside my window again, I know I saw him, but I couldn’t stay awake enough to watch what he was doing. If he took me, he put me back in my bed before I could wake up.
---
Alex came over today.
“Scarlett, you don’t look so good.”
“I will be in just a second.” I took my pills again, “Sorry. You got here a little early is all.”
Alex gave me an extremely puzzled look. “What are you talking about? I didn’t think you could be early in saying hi to someone.”
“… I guess that’s true. Well what should we do now?”
“Do you have a glass of water?”
“Yeah,” I poured him one, “Here.”
He took the glass from my hand, “Thanks.” He smiled.
“Hey, Alex?”
He twitched. “Yeah?”
“How bad is it? How noticeable is it?”