Love Is All You Need

So it’s been about a week since I’ve been back together with Carlos. I still feel awful about leaving Ryan on our wedding day. We had to stop the wedding and him and I talked and then came out and told everyone we decided not to get married. Um yeah, that was the most awkward position I’ve ever been in.

I love Carlos and I’m so glad I’m with him but I still feel bad about Ryan. We haven’t talked since that day and I feel like I owe him a huge apology so Carlos, being the sweetie that he is, helped me make a cake and on the top in blue icing, I wrote, ’I’m sorry’ I don’t love Ryan like I love Carlos and I never did, I just wanted someone to move on with and Ryan was a wonderful guy and I know I would have been really happy with him… if it wasn’t for Carlos, but I never wanted to hurt Ryan so I decided to make him this cake and take it to his house.

“Ryan,” I said while knocking on the door. “Ry, you in there?”

A moment later, the door slowly opened and Ryan’s tall sturdy frame stood there.

“Hi,” I softly said.

“Hey,” He replied while rubbing the back of his neck.

“I really want to talk to you,” I told him.

“Yeah, I think we should,” Ryan nodded his head while stepping to the side so I could walk in.

We headed into the living room and I put the cake down on the coffee table after both of us sat down on the couch.

“I made you a cake, chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, I know it’s your favorite,” I tried to break the ice.

“Thanks,” he smiled softly at me. “I bet it’s great.”

The two of us then headed into an awkward silence and I wanted to say something but I didn’t know what. Eventually I was able to push out a few words though.

“I’m really sorry Ryan, I never meant to hurt you,” I honestly said while looking into his blue eyes.

“I know you didn’t mean to, you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met and I know you wouldn’t ever purposely hurt me,” He replied.

“It’s just, I love Carlos and I always have. Then when we broke up, I was really hurting and missing him,” I sighed. “But then I met you and you are an incredibly wonderful guy and I know that I would have been extremely happy with you… if I would have never known Carlos.”

“It’s okay Kirstie, I understand,” Ryan gently said while taking my hands in his. “I’m not mad.”

“Really?” I asked.

“No I’m not mad,” he shook his head. “Sure I wanted you to marry me, but I wouldn’t want you marry me not completely being in love with me because eventually it wouldn’t work anymore.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. I feel so horrible for that all happening on our wedding day,” I apologized profusely.

“It’s okay,” He chuckled. “Hey, I’d much rather have us break up before we got married than after.”

“Yeah,” I giggled.

“Kirstie,” Ryan started. “I wish that I could have been the guy that made you feel amazing, but I’m really glad that you have the guy that does make you feel that way and I’m glad that you’re happy.”

“Ryan, why are you so wonderful?” I smiled while pulling him in for a big hug.

He let out a chuckle before saying, “Because I want you to be happy and I’m glad that Carlos makes you happy.”

“I know that you’re going to find an amazing girl that can love you the right way because you are such a great guy,” I assured him.

“Thanks Kirstie,” Ryan smiled.

The two of us shared a few more words and a big hug before I left. Ryan is a great guy but I just don’t feel the same way that I do with Carlos. I couldn’t stop comparing him to Carlos and that’s not fair to Ryan because he is his own wonderful person that needs to be loved for who he is and Carlos is his own person and I love him for him.

“You have no idea how happy it makes me when I see you walking through my door,” Carlos beamed as I walked into his house and headed over to where he was on the couch.

“I love you so much,” I smiled brightly while sitting on his lap and snuggling up to his chest.

“I love you so much,” He replied while wrapping his comforting arms around me and cuddling me.

“I feel so amazing in your arms. I always feel so protected, loved and comforted and I don’t want anybody but you to be holding me,” I told him.

“That’s good, because I don’t want anyone but me to be holding you and only you,” Carlos whispered while leaving soft kisses on my neck.

The two of us held each other tight and shared passionate kisses that got more intense by the minute.

“Now I really don’t want to go to Kylee’s surprise,” Carlos mumbled out between kisses after a while.

“What?” I asked.

“Ky called a while ago and said that when you came back that we had to meet her somewhere for a surprise but you’re being just too attractive,” He said in a low voice that made shivers wiggle their way down my spine.

“Wait? A surprise?” I buzzed. “We can kiss when we get back, I want to see what the surprise is!” I squealed.

Carlos planted a few more passionate kisses on my lips before we got up and headed out to the car. He slid one of his yummy smelling sweatshirts on me and then buckled me in while leaving kisses on my neck. It really wasn’t necessary in the slightest for him to buckle me in, but the kisses were awfully nice. I have no idea what this surprise is, but it’s going to be amazing just because my Carlitos will be with me!