Lime Light

“You guys have been freaking awesome tonight. Its awesome to be in our home town of Dallas.” My guitarist, Justin, stated until the mic while I adjusted my own rhythm guitar around my shoulders.
“Anyway, this song goes out to you lovely people.” I stepped up, and Damien started to beat his drums. He was joined by Justin, and our bassist Riley. The four of us made up the band Misery Is Company. We started early on, and were signed by the time I was sixteen. Now, nearly six years later, we’re still touring around the country, and even expanding to other countries. It’s like my life is made up of one non-stop party, and considering that we’re currently touring with All Time Low, it is one non-stop party. We met them when they were first signed. We were younger, but our bands got along great. So now we’re co-headlining a US tour together.
I finished the last words of the song, and stepped back from the mic with a huge grin plastered on my face. Tonight was one of our nights to end the show. It was always my favorite part of the night, to see the kids going absolutely insane for our music. It inspired me to write more songs in return. So it was definitely a win/win job. I was the last to race off of the stage, and I tossed my guitar to Danny before running back stage with the rest of my band mates.
“Oohhh Damien!” I called.
Damien turned around and looked at me.
“Yeah, Drea?”
“Piggy back ride?” I asked with a huge smile.
He rolled my eyes.
“What are big brother’s for?”
“Exactly.” I stated, jumping on my brother’s back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he walked back in step with Justin and Riley. “You guys are the best.”
“We know,” Riley rolled his eyes sarcastically. “You always say that, Andy.”
“Except you could be a tiny bit more sensitive to my girly needs,” I grumbled.
“Ew! Go talk to Cassadee about that shit.” Justin stated.
“Come on! You guys don’t do too bad dealing with it.”
“Other than that, it’s pretty easy to pretend that you’re a boy.” Riley shrugged.
I reached over and smacked the back of his head.
“That was mean.”
“Bitch,” He mumbled.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Dude, you better be glad that I’m holding her back.” Damien joked.
“Shut up,” I laughed.
The guys just shook their heads. They were used to my feisty-ness.
“PARTAYYYY!” The one and only Jack Barakat yelled, running up and down the halls. “PARTY, PARTY, PARTY! Party, Andy!” He yelled at me. “IT’S A FUCKING PARTY!”
I giggled, and instructed Damien to sit me down on the ground. As soon as my feet hit the surface, Jack was swinging me around yelling about the party. I giggled and joined in on the chanting as we swung our hands together, and skipped into All Time Low’s dressing room. He barged into the room, causing the other members to stare at us strangely.
“It’s a partyyyyy!” I sang before Jack started to do some weird type of thrust. I started to giggle loudly at him.
“JACK WANTS TO PARTY!”
“Jack needs to calm the fuck down.” Alex stated, smiling in my direction before he winked at me.
I blushed slightly, and chose to look down at my nails. I picked at the already chipped black paint. I was aware of the other singer’s stare intently at me. I didn’t want to look up and see his encouraging brown eyes. I didn’t need to fall for him even more than I already have.
“Ohhh Andyyyyy?”
I looked up to see Justin standing at the door.
“Yes?” I asked, looking at him carefully.
“You’ve got a special surprise!” Riley chimed in.
“Oh really now?” Zack asked, laughing. “Is this a bad surprise?”
I laughed, looking at the other bassist who was practically reading my mind.
“It depends on how much you miss your lovely boyfriend or not,” Damien winked playfully.
I laughed and shook my head at them.
“Is Stephen here?”
“He will be back here in five minutes,” Riley replied. “You might want to change though. You reek.”
“Shut up,” I stated, smacking his stomach. “I’m going to sit down,”
“You don’t care about your stench?” Rian questioned me, raising his eyebrows. “Most girls can’t wait to change.”
I lifted my arm and smelt.
“Flower-y fresh? I only sweat on my forehead,” I shrugged after dropping my arm. “Besides, Stephen’s been my boyfriend since I was like…fifteen?”
“They should have been married by now,” Damien rolled his eyes.
“We’re not ready for that, D.” I rolled my eyes.
“Only because you secretly want me,” He joked back.
“Oh yes, because I totally want to screw my step-brother. Gross, man.” I shook my head.
Damien’s dad married my mom when I was thirteen and he was fourteen. We’ve been best friends ever since.
“Whatever.” He scoffed and took a seat on the nearest couch with Justin and Riley following him. “You’re just lucky we let you into our band,”
“Please, you’re lucky I decided to step in when Ashton left.” I stated, speaking of the other boy who used to be their old lead singer.
“You ruined our all boy band thing we had going,” Justin chuckled.
“Hey, we still call her Andy…and most people assume she’s a boy…if they’ve never seen us before.”
“I honestly thought that Andy was a boy too.” Alex said playfully. “No offense or anything, but I just sort of thought that since you went by Andy that you were a boy.”
I shrugged, still not really wanting to talk to him after our conversation a few nights ago.
Or I should say argument.
Alex and I tend to butt heads a lot, and we got into a heated discussion after he kissed me publicly in front of the audience, where people were taking videos. It made me flustered and pissed all at the same time. I was extremely flattered, because it was Alex Gaskarth. On the other hand, I had told him countless times when he had done it before that I had a boyfriend, whom I cared about. Alex never really got that point. I first told him four years ago when this whole thing started. Ever since then, it’s been random hook ups and secret make-out sessions whenever we crossed paths. Being unfaithful was never a plan of mine. I planned on staying true to Stephen when we were on tour. But then again, I never planned on Alex Gaskarth coming into the picture and screwing up my perspective on wrong from right.
“Come on, you still can’t be mad and Lexy for the other night, are you?” Jack asked, pouting at me.
I huffed.
“Yes,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest, looking at Alex. “I’m still rather pissed.”
“I said that I was sorry!” Alex defended himself. “It’s not like you denied me or anything.”
“Alex,” I said in a warning voice. “Stop,”
He sighed and shook his head.
I knew that he was just as aggravated with me as I was with him. Alex wasn’t exactly the one who always started our little game that we had going on. I can honestly say that sometimes I was the one who instigated our messing around that sometimes led to one night stands. I nearly laughed at the thought. One night stands were supposed to mean one night only. What Alex and I had, whatever it is, was most definitely not a one-time thing. Sadly, either of us always gave into the other’s commands with a simple smile or a flirtatious wink. It was enough to make my blood boil. To top it all off, Lisa and Stephen existed. It wasn’t as if we were single, because we definitely had significant other. This game was something that had started a little after we met, and was an on-going thing. That was until last week, when I ended things with him for good.
“Andrea…”
I heard someone call my name. My head snapped up and I smiled at my long time boyfriend, Stephen who had just walked into the room. I stood up from the couch and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I kissed him passionately to remind myself that I loved him. I’ve known Stephen for so long, and he’s who I’m supposed to be with…right?
“I missed you,” I smiled up at him.
He gave me an un-easy smile before he motioned toward the couch I was just sitting on. I linked our hands together, and we sat down comfortably across from Alex.
“I know that you heard about the kiss, man. I just wanna say that it was just for the stage.” Alex spoke up, getting straight to the point.
My eyes grew wide as I looked at Stephen.
“You um….kissed Andrea?”
I cringed when he spoke.
“So you didn’t know?” Alex asked confused.
“No, she didn’t tell me,” Stephen stated, looking at the two of us curiously.
“I was going to tell you,”
“She was going to tell you a lot of things,” Alex muttered.
I rolled my eyes.
“It was just a stage kiss. It meant nothing.” I lied to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry.”
Stephen smiled softly at me.
“Okay.” He agreed.
“Enough of this deep talk…” Rian stated. “Let’s go party.”

♥

An hour or so later, we were all drinking in the parking lot to where we were parked in the venue. We had another show at the same venue tomorrow night so we didn’t have to pack up everything, and we just slept in the buses. Stephen only drank a little, and I didn’t even touch anything. I didn’t feel up to it because of what Alex had said earlier. How could he just say something like that in front of Stephen before I even told him? I get that he was mad and all, but he could have at least let me tell Stephen about the kiss. Alex and I were over. He needs to understand that I don’t just want to blurt out that I kissed him on stage to my long-time boyfriend.
“Hey,”
I looked up to see Alex standing there with a beer in his hand.
“Hi,” I answered curtly.
“Listen, An…can we…uh…ya know…”
“No, Alex. I don’t know,” I replied bitterly.
“Can we talk? About everything?”
“Why would I want to talk to you? You’ve been nothing but a jackass to me lately. You don’t deserve my time,”
He huffed, running a hand through his hair and letting his hand rub the back on his neck awkwardly.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me. That was seriously un-called for…and so was the stage kiss. I shouldn’t have done that. I came to apologize…so I’m sorry…”
“You don’t do a lot of apologizing do you?” I questioned, looking at the 23-year old, messy man up above me.
“No, and this is hard enough without you being a sarcastic bitch.” He huffed.
“Alex…” I warned.
“Fine. Can we…just…talk somewhere out of ear shot? People could easily sneak up and listen if they wanted too.”
“Okay.” I agreed slowly. “But no funny business. Keep Little Gaskarth in your pants.”
“No promises.” He winked at me. I only gave him a death glare. “Okay, Okay. Let’s talk.”
“Fine,” I agreed again, standing up. I whipped off my butt, and I headed toward MIC’s bus. I punched in the code, fully aware that everyone would be parting hard until the early dawn. So Alex and I were good on that part. I walked on first, not bothering to hold the door for a man who distorted my whole way of thinking. He stepped up behind me, and I flicked the overhead light on for the tour bus. I turned around, and crossed my arms. “Talk, Gaskarth,”
He was silent for a moment, and shifted under my glare.
“I’m really sorry. F-for everything that has happened between us for the last five years…” He started off. “I…I didn’t mean to actually cause problems in your relationship with Stephen. I’ll admit, I did plan on getting into your pants the moment I found out that we were touring together for the first time. I’m a guy, and you have boobs. It’s only natural.”
I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Is there a point to this speech?”
“There is if you let me speak.” He stated, sounding slightly annoyed. I nodded, allowing him to actually finish. “I’m never happy when I go home to Lisa. We’re so on and off that it isn’t even funny. We’ve probably only been together two years though all of the constant break-ups. I wouldn’t call what Lisa and I have a relationship. Then again, I wouldn’t call what we had a relationship. But the difference is that I actually feel something when I’m with you, Andrea. I feel like… I don’t know…I can reach the stars or some shit like that. I’m not the best guy in the world obviously, but I want to be…for you that is. I…I’ve never really hooked up with the same girl more than once, but here you are. It’s just…it’s hard to let go of you. That’s why I kissed you on stage after we sang Remembering Sunday.” He confessed.
I bit my lip, looking at the stuttering and confused man in front of me. He was so different from the Alex I usually saw. The usual cocky Alex was currently replaced by him…and it slightly scared me.
“What are you trying to say, Alex?”
“It feels right when we’re together. I feel…whole? Lisa doesn’t do that and I’ve known her a whole lot longer than I’ve known you. That doesn’t make much sense to me, and I’m sure I’m just jumbling words together right now, because oddly, I’m really nervous. You…you make me slightly nervous.”
“You care for me? Alex are you trying to like…I don’t know what you want me to do.” I admitted, getting frustrated with him.
“Leave him.”
“Excuse me?”
Alex took in a deep breath.
“You heard me, Andy. Leave him. Leave Stephen.”
“I-I can’t just leave him, Alex. He’s my boyfriend,”
“Really? Then why have you been screwing around with me for so long? Obviously Stephen can’t keep you happy if you’re always with me. Every time I’m in Dallas, we get together. Every time you’re in Baltimore, we get together. Fuck, almost every night of every tour we’ve even been on together, we spend with each other. Not Lisa or Stephen. Tell me, Andy…where does your heart really lie, because I’ve made it pretty clear where mine is.”
“I-I…uh.”
“You what?” He asked, with an annoyed voice.
“I love him, Alex.” I squeaked.
“No you fucking don’t!” He yelled. “If you would listen to yourself for a fucking millisecond, you would see that! You’re voice goes at least two octaves higher when you lie.” He said, coming closer to me. I started to back up. I was forced to stop when my back was against the cabinets in the bus. “You can’t lie to me,”
“Alex…please just drop it.” I pleaded.
Alex kept walking closer to me.
“No, Andy. I won’t drop it.”
“Fucking stop!” I shouted. “You’re making everything harder than it should be.”
“Good!” Alex shouted back.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I questioned. “Can’t you just Let. It. Go?”
“No, I honestly can’t.” He retorted, just inches from my face. “I’m going to kiss you, Andy.”
“N-no.” I replied, my voice already shaking from how close he was. Before I could protest anymore, Alex’s lips filled the slots of my own. My eyes fluttered closed, unable to keep the open. His hands found my hips, gripping them tightly while he stepped closer. I lifted my head slightly, able to deepen our kiss. My hands flew to his hair, gripping and tugging at it, just because it was one of my favorite things to do when I kissed Alex. His hands slid down my bare thighs, and gripped my legs. Instinctively, I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist, something I’ve done more times than I would like to admit to myself. Alex turned around, knowing the bus from our many past rendezvous, and carefully laid us down on the couch. Alex finally broke apart from my lips and attacked my neck, allowing me to catch my breath. My head tangled into his hair, and I moved my neck so he could reach more of my skin.
As things got more heated, our clothes seemed to disappear with no problem at all. My body was on fire with his sweet kisses and tender touches. Alex knew my body better than anyone, and I loved that he did. He knew what to do in order to get a certain reaction from me. It was something he was extremely proud of, yet couldn’t really stake a claim at all. Our tangle bodies and rapid breathing someone increased until we were unable to contain it anymore. Breathing heavily and covered in a new layer of sweat, Alex and I stayed silent on the couch. His naked body pressed to my own, holding me like only he could.
“Now tell me, has Stephen ever made you feel like that?” He asked, peering down at me. I didn’t say anything as I stared up into the chocolate brown eyes I’ve come to love seeing make eye contact with my green eyes. I simply shook my head no, and a small smile graced his lips. “Good.” He replied. Alex kissed me softly and sweetly before he stood up. He started getting dressed nearly as fast as I ripped them off. I was slightly confused at his actions. Normally he would lay with me for a little bit, cuddling and saying sweet nothings, but now he was standing up and practically rushing out of the tour bus.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving you to clean up the mess that you’ve made. I’ve done my part.”
“What do you mean?”
“I broke up with Lisa last month. I told her everything, Andrea. And I mean everything. From the first time we kissed up to our last hook up. I’m done with her. It’s your move.” He stated, walking down the stairs and out of the tour bus. I just let him go, letting him walk out without me saying anything. I felt like an idiot. I stood up, and grabbed my clothes. With my towel I usually used to wipe myself off after shows, I used it to wipe off the extra sweat. When I was done, I applied some lotion and then put on my clothes I was wearing before Alex and I hooked up…again. Finally, I sat back down on the couch, and held my head in my hands. I made a huge mess that would no doubt be even messier at the end of the night. I finally got the courage, and I stood up from the couch. I walked off of the bus, only to be stopped short.
“Andrea!”
I turned around quickly to see Stephen standing there.
“Oh, I was just looking for you,”
“Funny, because I was looking for you too,” He said with a deep sigh. “Alex told me where I’d find you,”
“O-okay.”
“I think that we should talk now,”
I nodded my head.
“Right here?”
“Well I would suggest inside the bus, but I’d rather not sit on a couch that my girlfriend screwed some other guy on,” He snapped. I felt my mouth drop, and then I quickly shut it, and I nibbled on my bottom lip.
“How did you-,”
“How long?” He interrupted. It was sadder than the first statement. This one was quieter than the angry sentence before. Once I didn’t answer, Stephen asked again. “How long, Andy?”
“I-I was going to tell you…” I said lamely.
“You didn’t answer my questioned.” He said, looking at me right in the eyes. His blue eyes looked so sad. “Please…don’t do this to me. Tell me the truth for once. Don’t lie to me anymore.”
I looked down at my beat up converse.
“You don’t want to know.”
“Andrea,” He sighed in frustration. “You’ve been my girlfriend for nearly seven years. Tell me the fucking truth.”
“Do you really want to know? How bad do you want to know,”
“I really want to know.”
“No you don’t,” I argued.
“Fucking tell me!” He yelled. I turned around and started toward the rest of the bands partying. My band, All Time Low, Hey Monday, plus all of the crew members were sitting around and drinking. But the closer I got the more attention we attracted. “Andy!” He yelled.
I stopped, just a few feet away from everyone.
“I don’t want to talk about this!”
“Just answer me! If you didn’t do anything, like I know that you didn’t, then tell me!”
“What is the point in defending myself when you so clearly already had your mind made up?!”
“I want to give you the benefit of the doubt!” He shouted back. “Just answer my fucking question, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“How important is it?” I said childishly. I didn’t want to tell him.
“It’s really important!” Stephen yelled. “How long have you been fucking Alex behind my back?”
I felt my dignity drop dramatically when he called me out. He didn’t avoid asking the question, something he has always done, but instead he finally asked me flat out. I couldn’t stand his eyes, so I looked around anywhere but those beautiful baby blue eyes. I caught Alex’s eyes for a moment, but not only his. I also caught those of the other bands and various crew members. Alex and I had always been extremely careful as to where and when we had ‘met up’. A small tear escaped my eyes, and I finally looked back at him. I needed another deep breath, and I used everything I had to keep my voice sturdy.
“Four years.”
Stephen’s mouth dropped.
“That long?” He almost whispered, and I nodded my head. “You’ve managed to lie, cheat, and still face me after four fucking years of your sleeping with Alex?!” He snapped. “I honestly expected more from you, Andy. I really did. I should have broken up with you when I first saw the way you watched Alex. It basically screamed ‘I’m hooking up with him’.”
“I never meant to hurt you,”
“That’s a lame ass excuse. If you never meant to hurt me, you would have never done it in the first place.” Stephen replied. “What are we supposed to do?” He asked me. “Are you going to really quiet this, or do I have to worry about you every time you leave for tour.”
I looked at Alex one more time and then back at Stephen.
“Neither.” I replied in almost a whisper. “I –I can’t be with you…if I feel this strongly for someone else. I don’t I’ve ever felt this strongly for someone else in my life.”
“Not even me?” Stephen asked, furrowing his dark eyebrows.
“Not even you,” I sighed. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry I spent so much time trying to convince myself that we were going to make it, despite the odds.” Stephen shook his head. “Bye, Andrea.”
“Bye,” I said, sounding slightly like a robot, an uncaring and programmed type of response.
Stephen didn’t give me another look as he walked away from me, quickly saying goodbye to the guys. He did something, however that I didn’t expect.
“Good luck with her, Alex. You’ve turned her into a big mess.”
Then he was gone. I choked a little bit, feeling both relief and sadness to hear Stephen walk away. I stared at the tour buses before finally turning around and looking at everyone. Some of them were staring, others were looking down, thinking, but I didn’t care. My band mates stared at me in shock, but I kept my head high as I stared at the only person that recently mattered more than Stephen.
“Alex?” I asked, almost too quiet, but he heard me.
Alex was up out of his seat, and striding toward me. His comforting arms wrapped around my frame, and crushed me into his chest. I let out a small sob, and took a deep breath. I pulled back, and I looked up at him. His brown eyes, reddish hair, and tan was drastically different from Stephen’s nearly black hair, crystal blue eyes, and slightly pale skin. Somehow, I preferred Alex. His thumbs slid across my cheeks, wiping off the tears that had strayed down my face.
“You chose me?”
“Yeah,” I choked out a small laugh. “I did.”
“I…I don’t know what to say?”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“I feel like I do,” He replied, cupping my head in his hands.
I laughed and shook my head.
“Just kiss me and remind me that you’re worth it.”
He nodded.
“Deal,” Alex replied, and pressed his lips to mine softly for a moment or two. When he pulled back, his dazzling smile flashed across his face. “I-I think…no…I know…I love you,”
My cheeks flushed.
“I think I love you too,” I replied, accepting his next kiss.