Why?

You promised me that nothing would come between us, and nothing would tear us apart. YOU LIED! YOU'RE A LIAR! I believed in us, but I guess I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have believed you were serious about our relationship. Mark, I loved you and you just threw it in my face. I guess I shouldn't have loved you, but I did because you told me you loved me too. YOU LIED! You said that you love me, but if you truly loved me, why didn't you come home last night? Why did you ditch me for a party? On our two and a half year anniversary you ditched me for a fucking party. At first I was just angry, but eventually I could've gotten over it, until I got a text. It wasn't a text though, it was a picture of you. You were ontop of her, and your clothing was nowhere in sight. I can't believe you! You left me to go sleep with some whore at a party, on our two and a half year anniversary. I should've seen it coming. I guess I understand why you did it. I'm not pretty enough to be with you. I'm not skinny enough to be with you. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE WITH YOU. I'm not good enough to be with anyone. You proved to me that I'm not good enough for anything. Thank you for that. I fucking loved you, but I guess love is a fucking lie.

I had written those thoughts into a letter, which I then sealed and left on the bedside table.

If you broke your promise, then I'm going to break my promise too.

I exited the bedroom and walked into the bathroom, the bathroom stocked with razors.

I've always had depression, but I've been on medicine for it.

It was bad when I was younger, my self esteem wasn't great, and the depression succumbed me. The depression took a turn for the worst and before I knew it I was in the hospital, I had overdosed on pills. I've suffered with being suicidal for awhile, and I always thought Mark would save me but I guess I thought wrong. I thought he was sincere when he told me he wanted to help me, so I promised I would never go back to that, but look what he caused. He caused me to break my promise.

Mark caused the blood that is currently collecting in puddles on the floor.

Mark caused the tears that are streaming from beneath my eyelids.

Mark caused the worthlessness.

Mark caused the my vision to start fading.

Mark caused this!

I thought I was finally getting better, I thought I was done with my depression, but I guess I wasn't. At the same time I also thought Mark wouldn't pull a stunt such as cheat on me.

Even though I blame it all on Mark, I know that it's my fault that death is slowly creeping over me. It's my fault for being so completely fucked up. It's my fault for not being good enough. It's my fault, I chose to cut, Mark didn't force a razor upon my wrists infact he would be so disgusted with me if he saw this. Infact, I'm pretty sure disgust is exactly what showed on his face, as he walked into the bathroom, as I passed out.