From Day One

Why did this feeling keep coming back to me? Every time we said our goodbyes, I felt alone and like I was losing something. He made me feel like I was the only girl out there for him, he made me feel special. It was a feeling I never felt before. Not even Jeremy made me feel like that, as much as I loved him and he loved me it was never like that.

I walked down the street to where I was meeting up with Jeremy, it was dark and it was cold. I was walking around with a big smile on my face, I left the venue in a good mood. I couldn't wipe the smile off, it was permanently there. I tried to think of anything else but John but my thoughts always wandered back to him. I didn't know what all this meant, why we kept meeting up but I loved it, and I wanted it to keep happening. I couldn't wait til they came back in a month. I hoped he would text me. I hoped he didn't think I was weird or easy for giving him my number, it was just a simple gesture. And the way he took the photo and the way he looked at it. He gave me a sweet and sincere compliment, and it meant so much to me.

I took out my phone to see if possible he text me and he didn't, but he must have been busy with fans and getting packed up. I tried not to over think it, but of course that was impossible. I made my way to the bar I was meeting Jeremy at. I opened the door and stepped into the semi crowed bar. I scanned the room and saw Jeremy sitting at a table with a drink in his hand and another cup to the side. He saw me standing there and waved me over.

“Hey there beautiful.” He greeted me with hug and a different type of butterflies attacked my stomach.

I let out a small laugh and wrapped my arms around him. “Hey, have you been her for a while?” I knew I was late, getting out of the venue and saying goodbye to Jenny took a while. She tried to convince me to go home with her and not meet up with Jeremy but I decline and walked over here.

“Oh no it's fine.” He pulled out the chair for me to sit in and sat down next to me. “I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I just got you a water for now.” I looked down at the cup and smiled up at him.

“Thank you, after the concert I am pretty thirsty.” I took a sip of the water and placed it back on the table and turned my body so I was facing him more. “I was surprised that you called.”

“Oh well I've been missing you,” He gave me that face smile, the one that made me fall for him every time. There was something in his eyes that just seemed so sincere and trustworthy. “I miss my favorite girl.” I couldn't look away, I just smiled back at him.

“Well I've been missing you also. I was so glad you called me.” I had been missing him, I was moving on but he was still on my mind. He might not had been on my mind that much but since I saw the call and I heard his voice it got me thinking again. Thinking about us being together and all the good times. I didn't think about the break up or the bad times, it was just the good times. I over looked the bad and saw the good in the relationship.

“If you want a drink you can go put it on my tab.” He took a sip of his beer and I just nodded my head.

“I think I'm just going to stick with my water.”

“Whatever you want beautiful.” I let out another small nervous laugh and just smiled.

We sat and talked, we talked about everything that had happened from the end of the break up til now. He told me about work and how he got the promotion that he was hoping to get. He said he hadn't dated anyone since me, which made me feel kind of good. He talked about moving into a new apartment and is just living by himself. As he talked my mind was somewhere else. I kept my phone out on the table so I saw if John had texted me but he never did. He did mention that him and the tour was going out so I he must have been busy with that.

“So are you going to go back to school or are you just going to stay in the coffee shop?” He ask as he took sip of his 3 beer.

“Oh well I've been told that I should stay in coffee making, because I make the best cup of coffee.” I said it with pride but I was joking but Jeremy obviously didn't think it was funny. He gave me a serious look and just took a sip of his beer.

“Making coffee wont get you anywhere in your life Rosie, you know that right?”

I rolled my eyes and this was the thing I hated about Jeremy, he always had a plan and was always successful. He was a working type, he went to school for business and he helps with his family business. He always didn't understand why I dropped out of school, he didn't get why I was okay with my minimum wage job. Sure I wasn't going to stay in Starbucks forever, I knew it wasn't my future but for now I was okay with it.

“I was joking Jeremy. I have been thinking about going back to school but I'm not sure yet.”

“Rosie you need to go back to school and get your degree, it'll benefit you so much, trust me.”

“How are your parents? Their anniversary just passed right? I was going to send them a card but I simply forgot.” I had to change subject before I got annoyed and got up and left him there. I didn't like talking about my future especially with Mr. Perfect, he put me down so badly and I hated that.

He was talking about the huge party his parents threw for their anniversary. I didn't really care, I knew his mother never exactly liked me. She put on a fake smile and was always polite but I knew she saw me differently. Sure I didn't stick with the college idea but that didn't mean anything. I knew she didn't want me and Jeremy to be together, she wanted someone who was like Jeremy, who had a plan.

My attention was on a huge group who came into the bar. They were loud and already drunk it seemed like. They were singing and yelling for drinks, talking in loud voices and just being crazy. I tried to bring my attention back to Jeremy but I just couldn't. I could tell he was also getting annoyed, he would stop in mid sentence and look at the group and try and remember where he left off.

“Can they be any more louder? That's just rude.” Jeremy said as he glared at the group that was surrounding the bar area. I looked back over at them and recognized a few of the guys from the concert. I scanned around to see if the boy that had my attention was here. I didn't see him but there was so many boys that were tall with shaggy hair it was hard to focus.

“Do you want to go somewhere a little bit more quiet? Somewhere you and I can just be?” He said in a seductive voice. He looked at me deeply into my eye and got super close to me.

“No here is fine,” I looked back at the group and my eyes finally found him. He was sitting at the bar, laughing at some joke someone told. I could hear his laugh and it was adorable. That smile killed me every time I saw it. “I think I want a drink now.” I looked back at Jeremy and he nodded his head. And took a final sip of his beer. I looked back to see if John was still at the same spot he was at and he was, staring at me. He didn't have that smile on anymore, he actually looked mad. He quickly looked away, trying to make it seem like he hadn't noticed me.

“Do you want another beer?” I asked and he nodded his head and told me to just put it on his tab.

I scooted out of my chair and once I was facing John our eyes locked one each others and that smile of his grew but I could still see the jealousy.

“Hey,” I said and took a seat next to him. “I didn't think you'd be here.” I gave him a smile and he just took a sip of his drink.

“Well I said we were going out, so that's your boyfriend?” He asked. He pointed towards Jeremy and I immediately started to shake my head.

“Oh God no, he's my ex.”

“Oh, so your trying to work things out and get back with him?” I let out a small laugh and just shook my head. “What?”

“You ask a lot of questions.” I laughed again. “But no were just trying to be friends.” he nodded his head slowly and just kept on looking at him.

“Whats his name?”

“It's uh Jeremy. Can I get you a drink, its on his tab?” I gave him a smile that tried to convince him to get one.

“That sounds great.”

I waved over a bartender and bought 3 beers. John and I stopped talking and just waited for the other to say something. I hated these awkward moments. We made small talk but we just weren't at the point where we could have full conversations.

I looked over at Jeremy and saw Jeremy getting up and walking over here.

“Hey babe, I think it's time to leave.”

I looked at John and his face went stone cold. I felt bad.

“Yeah alright. Bye John.” I gave him a weak smile and he returned it.

“Nice seeing you again Rosie.”

I started to walk away with Jeremy right next to me, I looked back behind him and I once again felt like I was losing something.

We got out of the bar and started to walk down the street. It was fully dark now and not as many people we out. There was a small breeze making me a little chilly.

“So who was that?” Jeremy asked in a stern voice.

“Oh no one.” I didn't want to explain who John was to Jeremy because it would be no good.

“If your dating someone just tell me.” His voice was a little harsh and it got me frustrated.

“I'm not, he's just a friend.”

I heard him let out a sigh and he didn't say anything else. We both looked forward and didn't talk. I wanted to go home and end this day.

“What do you want to do now? You can come and see my new apartment.”

“I think I'm going to head back, I'm pretty tired.”

“Alright, lets get together soon again. Call me sometime.” He leaned him for a hug and I accepted.

“Yeah I will soon, Bye.” I gave him a wave and went in the opposite direction to get to my car. I wasn't sure how I was feeling about meeting up with Jeremy, it didn't go as I wanted it to. I was glad we met up, but my thoughts were back on John. I felt bad that he thought he was my boyfriend, and having him called me Babe in front of John didn't settle well with me.

“Are you sure he's not your boyfriend?” I read the text message out loud since no one was around and my stomach dropped. He probably thinks I'm playing him or something but that wasn't it, I didn't think. Sure my feelings for Jeremy would always be the same but there was something about John that made me happy. He made me feel special and I wanted more of it. I didn't want him to think me and Jeremy were still a thing because that wasn't the case. Jeremy and I were over, I wanted to move on to something better than him.