Temporary Bliss

“Something seems different about you…” Caroline noted as we were both browsing through the same rack of many, filled with dresses.

“Oh? Like what?” I asked, trying not to widen my eyes.

“I don‘t know, I can‘t put my finger on an exact thing, you just seem different…”

Well, for starters, I’m no longer a virgin.

I just shrugged, “That‘s weird.” I chuckled. “So how are you and Zach? Still all lovey dovey I presume?” I teased, grabbing a dress and slinging it over my arm where I already had three dresses.

She giggled a girly giggle, but then again what giggle isn’t? “You could say so…yes very much so. He‘s just so adorable and cute.” she gushed. “Speaking of Zach and me, you and Cam never double date with us.”

I smiled and shrugged, “You and Zach combined just bugs us.” I laughed, “You‘re always attacking each other with kisses.”

She rolled her eyes, biting at her lip, “Yeah, I guess that‘s true.” she sighed happily, “How are you and Cam?”

“Great!” I smiled genuinely. Too bad we weren’t really that great. “Ready to try yours on?” I asked, she nodded and we both headed to the dressing rooms.

We literally walked around each store for an hour, multiply that by like 5 stores, you get 5 hours. Yes, my feet were killing me. I had complained about so many things wrong when trying on a dress, same things too, ‘it’s too long.’ ‘it’s too short.’ ‘this damn zipper is like broken.’ ‘this color washes me out.’ ’you can see my underwear line’ and many more, and of course, Caroline complained about the same things, ‘this makes my butt look invisible.’ ‘my boobs look fucking huge.’ ‘this looks terrible on me.’ and so on, if you’re a girl, you know what I’m talking about. The dress always looks so beautiful on the rack, but on you it sometimes does not look so flattering.

We both found a dress though, so that was good. Mine was a strapless pink poofy princess dress, the top corset was covered in pink sequence and silver rhinestones. Caroline’s was exactly the same, but in blue, yes we planned it this way so we could match…sorta.

“Okay, I‘m starving.” I groaned as we headed out of the store carrying our dresses, covered in the usual long plastic bag.

“So am I! I think I‘m going to die, or pass out! My legs are so weak!”

“Let‘s go get something to eat!” I said, out of energy as we walked out of the mall and to Caroline’s car. Ten minutes later we pulled into a deli, both of us practically running inside, getting a sudden burst of energy knowing that food was a few minutes away.

Once we ordered and paid I grabbed a cup and headed over to the drink dispensers. I was trying to decide what I wanted to drink when I felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around me. I smiled, knowing very well it was Cameron.

“Hey there beautiful.” he whispered in my ear. I turned around to face him, still smiling; I stood up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his. You’re probably wondering why I was even kissing him if I was cheating on him, well, I still had to play the girlfriend role to him, and yes, I still enjoyed kissing him, the spark and butterflies were just gone. Yes, he was still gorgeous and adorable, but the strong feelings just weren’t there anymore. If any of you know how I can get those strong feelings back it’d be great if you could tell me. I pulled back a few seconds later, knowing we were in a public place.

“Why are you here?” I asked, surprised.

“Zach said he wanted to go to lunch, I think Caroline and him planned it, as like a double date.” he smirked.

“I think you‘re right, she wouldn’t let us eat at the mall…”

“Did you find a dress?” he asked, his eyes sparkling. Oh gosh, Cameron, if you only knew what I was hiding from you.

I nodded, biting my lip. “I did.”

“Can you model it for me later?” he asked, still unbelievably close to me.

“If you want.” I smiled, pecking his lips. I turned around and filled my cup up with ice and diet coke. His fingers laced through mine as we walked to the table Zach and Caroline were already sitting at.

“Nice job planning this double date you two.” Cameron said, rolling his eyes as we sat down. I slid into the booth next to him and his hand automatically rested on my knee.

They played innocent denying it, but Cameron and I both knew they really did set this up.

We worked out a few details for prom, I felt my stomach sinking seeing how excited Cameron was, maybe I could break up with him after prom…

Cameron ended up driving Zach here so I rode home with Cameron and Zach rode with Caroline, though he ended up driving. When we got to my house I grabbed my dress that I had carefully placed in Cameron’s trunk. Cameron offered to carry it in for me and we made our way up the stairs, I took my dress into my bathroom to try it on. I then realized Cameron was laying on my bed…the bed Michael slept it last night…it probably still smells like him…oh shit.

I quickly put the dress on for Cameron to see, and of course my mom wanted to see too when she saw us carrying it in. I cracked open the door, peeking out at Cameron through the crack, his head turned and he smiled at me, he didn’t seem off about anything so I figured he didn’t notice the smell of another guy.

“Are you going to come out?” he asked, sitting up.

I nodded, biting my lip; Cameron got up and walked towards me after I hadn’t moved. He leaned against the doorpost and looked at me through the crack.

“I‘m waiting.” he said in a sexy voice.

I smiled, but didn’t move. His fingertips gently pushed the door open to reveal me standing awkwardly in my dress.
I watched him as his eyes lit up, and for a second there I thought I could see him drooling…just kidding. His mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.

His hand reached out and grabbed mine, gently pulling me out of the bathroom and into my room. He lifted my hand up twirling me around. After finishing my slow spin I stood facing him, a small smile on my face, I could feel myself blushing. He placed his hands on the front of my hips and stepped closer to me, his forehead rested against mine, his smile still on his face, his lips parted and he spoke up, “Dance with me?”

I smiled, nodding as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. He always smelt so good.

He placed his lips close to my ear and whispered, “You look stunning, and beautiful and gorgeous, and breathtaking. You look like a princess, my princess.”

Too bad I wasn’t only his. He didn’t know he was sharing me with Michael… Why couldn’t I just feel the same way I used to feel about Cameron? Michael never called me a princess…or opened car doors for me, or even just a regular door. He never bought me something for the hell of it, hell he never bought me anything, not even paying for my meal when we went out to dinner. Cameron did all of those things…

I pulled my head off of his chest and looked up at him, “Thank you, Cameron.”

“I love you, Scar.” he whispered.

“I love you too, Cameron.”

His lips met mine and instantly started moving in sync. They were always so soft and comforting, but the spark was missing. The longer we kissed the guiltier I felt, if only he had known he wasn’t the only one whose lips touched mine.

I pulled back a little, smiling at him, he quickly leaned back in but I stopped him, “I have to go show my mom the dress.” I smiled.

His hand clasped mine and we walked out of my room and down the hall to the second store family room. After my mom‘s gushing over the dress and her yelling ecstatically about how much she loved it Cameron and I headed back to my room. I quickly changed out of my dress, against Cameron‘s wishes, and then we headed downstairs to watch a movie.

I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie; I was just staring at the TV screen, the sound muffled from me not paying attention. I focused on Cameron‘s hand holding mine, his thumb occasionally rubbing the back of my hand. I couldn’t figure out why there weren‘t any sparks. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my hand, nothing. No spark, no little tingle. Nothing. I looked over at his cute face, he caught me staring at him and smiled at me, he placed a quick peck on my cheek. Same thing; no spark, no tingle; it was dull, there was nothing. I felt my eyes start to sting and seconds later a few tears welled up in my eyes. I hoped Cameron and wouldn‘t notice, and he didn’t, because I turned my head away from him a little.

** ** **

As usual, against my liking, however, I hadn‘t seen Michael for a week. It‘s like I see him, and then he disappears off of the face of the earth. He hadn‘t called that day he said he would either. I know I should be annoyed, or care, but I didn’t, not even the slightest bit, and that‘s what bugged me the most. I should be upset that he‘s not calling me when he says he will, or he won‘t respond to my texts, or won‘t answer my phone calls.

It wasn’t until late Saturday night that I got a call from Michael. I didn‘t want to pick it up, since I should be mad and all that jealous stuff…but I answered it, “Hi there.”

“Oh my fucking god Charlotte, can you come over?” he asked urgently.

“…W-w-what?” I stuttered.

“Please, it‘s important!” he whispered, just as urgent.

“…I don’t know where you live.”

“I‘ll text you my address, can you come or not? Please, Scar?” Whoa, that was the first time he called me that.

“Yeah, okay.” I said reassuringly. Then he hung up. I got up and slipped on my shoes, knowing very well I couldn’t take my car, so I grabbed my bike from the shed we had in our backyard. Michael’s house really wasn’t that far, like I said at the beginning, Poway is small. The whole way there I tried to figure out why he seemed so urgent about me going over to his house.