Temporary Bliss

I woke up at nine the next morning and Cameron was still sleeping, no shock there. I quietly got out of bed and crept out of his room, closing the door behind me. I walked down the hall to the bathroom and quickly showered, and then blow dried my hair and put on a bit of makeup that I had thrown into my overnight bag. I headed back to Cameron’s room and found him still asleep; I sighed and rolled my eyes before jumping onto his bed, landing partially on him.

“What the…?” Cameron said before noticing it was me, “Oh, good morning.” He smiled, giving me a quick kiss. “Mmm, minty fresh.”

“Yes, that’s because I’ve been up for a whole hour, Mister Lazy Bones! Now get up!”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down next to him and snuggled his face in the crook of my neck, “Five more minutes, love.”

“No! Get up!!”

He groaned and let me go, slowly getting out of bed. he went to his dresser and pulled out a shirt and put it on while I waited at the door for him. “So what do you want for breakfast?” he asked as we walked down the stairs.

“Fruity Pebbles, of course!”

“I knew you’d say that, so I went to the grocery store and picked a box up yesterday morning.”

“Aw, Cam, how sweet.” When we reached the kitchen I got two bowls and two spoons, while Cameron got out the cereal and milk.

We ate in mostly silence and just looked at each other and made occasional faces at each other. After we were finished Cameron took our bowls and washed them out and then handed them to me to put in the dishwasher. We headed outside and lay together on the hammock in his backyard. There were a few clouds in the sky and there was a nice breeze that made the hot sun more bearable.

“So Zach mentioned something about going to the beach tonight for a bon fire, would you wanna go?”

“Yeah, we haven’t been to one a while, plus it’s supposed to be really nice out.”

“It’s hard to believe it’s almost been a year since we met.”

Once those words flew out of his mouth my throat felt like it was closing up. He was going to start talking about all of the good times and how much he loved me and how perfect I was. But I wasn’t perfect, the good times were over, and he wouldn’t love me if he knew the truth about what had gone on the past few months.

“I can’t believe I actually had the guts to ask you out, and I definitely can’t believe you actually said yes. You were all beautiful and sweet and I was an awkward and stuttering mess with lame jokes.”

My heart was slowly sinking down into my stomach as he went on.

“One of my cousins even told me that I could never get a girl like you, so once I had you I really rubbed it in his face that I did, he just didn’t believe I was capable of it, heck I didn’t really think I was either.” I forced a smile. “I remember when I first saw you on that beach, it was before Zach and Caroline introduced us, I caught a glimpse of you and I remember thinking you were the most beautiful girl ever, I was sure you had a boyfriend though. But then when I was introduced to you I was freaking out even more because well, you were there and you know how awful I was at trying to be Mister Cool. I was just like “Holy shit, I’m sitting next to a hot girl and I have no game.”. And then when you complimented my eyes I was totally freaking out on the inside because you had like actually noticed me.”

“Cam…”I choked out.

“I just…wow…I never really believed in love but now I’m so in love with you I can’t even imagine not believing in love anymore…because it’s definitely real.”

He looked so happy…so on top of the world. Little did he know his world was about to crash down around him, bringing his heart with it, shattering it to pieces.

I sat up; feeling like my breakfast was about to come spewing out of my mouth. I was trying to talk myself out of what I was about to do. I looked down at him, taking a deep breath in through my nose, I looked him right in the eyes, “I’ve been cheating on you.”

He was quiet for a while, it was like I had said something in a different language to him and he was trying to figure out what. “You’re…cheating…on…on me? He quickly got off of the hammock, nearly causing me to fall out.

“Cam…” I got off too, both of us just looking at each other. “I…I-can I just explain?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking down as he shook his head. Once his head lifted, his green eyes met mine, now filled with an immense amount of hurt and confusion. “W-who? Who did you cheat on me with?”

“Cam, that’s not important…”

“I have a right to know, Charlotte!” his stern voice caught me off guard, I wasn’t used to him calling me Charlotte.

“Michael.” I said, looking down.

“Michael? Michael Martinez…the guy you work with?” I nodded, staying quiet. “When?”

“He kissed me at work back in October, but there wasn’t anything until January when I, we, we um, had sex.” At that moment I saw his heart break through his eyes.

“This shit has been going on since October and you didn’t tell me? I don’t care if it was just one fucking kiss, it would have been nice to know. He kissed you, if that’s even the truth, so I wouldn’t have been mad at you…but then you go and sleep with him!? And you can just carry on like everything is normal and just….just lie to me? I suppose you two started like fucking dating after that right, Charlotte? Am I right?!”

I looked down and slowly nodded my head.

“You don’t even have the decency to look at me? You spent the last like six months looking me in the eyes and telling me that you loved me, when it was all a big fucking lie.”

“I really did love you though! And I still do!”

“No you don’t, you love the idea of us.” He was quiet for a while, wiping a few tears away, “I can’t believe I was completely honest and devoted to you, and you weren’t, you stabbed me in the fucking back. I feel so fucking stupid for loving you, for treating you perfectly when you just didn’t even appreciate it, and would run off with another guy at the end of the night! You should have just told me straight up rather than just stringing me along! I waisted so much time on you! Didn’t you even feel guilty?”

“Of course I did!” I yelled. “You don’t think it was fucking hard for me to listen to you say all of these sweet things about me?! You don’t think it tore me up inside to cheat on you? To lie to you?” I just now realized I was crying, I quickly started wiping my tears away.

“It must not have tore you up that bad because you let it happen for SIX FUCKING MONTHS!”

“I’M SORRY! I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN SAY?!”

Right at that moment Caroline and Zach walked in the fence door, hand in hand, smiles on their faces. Once they saw us they walked a little closer then asked what was wrong.

“What’s up? You want to know what’s up? Why don’t you ask Charlotte, I’m sure she’d be fucking glad to tell you that she’s been cheating on me for the past six months!!” Both Zach and Caroline looked at me, surprised by Cameron’s tone and language.

“Um…we’ll come back so you two can talk.” Caroline said, looking at Zach.

“Oh no, we’re done talking! Thanks for setting me up with a whore.” He said, right before walking out of the gate Zach and Caroline walked in. I just stood there, unable to comprehend the mess I had just made as I heard the engine of Cameron’s car start up and then fade away down the street.

I was a murderer. I ripped Cameron’s heart out of his chest and cut it into a million tiny pieces so it could never be fully put back together, so he could never be fixed. I needed to go to jail or something, a jail for heartbreakers, with a life sentence. I didn’t deserve to love or be loved ever again.