When the Day Met the Night

“Just between you and me; I am an optimist with a frightening disease.” ~HeyHiHello

-Elizabeth POV-
Brendon kept to himself and moped for the last few days of tour. No matter how much I tried to bring him out of him bubble, he wouldn’t budge. What was worse is that I felt a strong longing to be near him at all times.

“Shit fucker!” I kicked the building near me, tears streaming down from my eyes. “What the fuck is my problem?” I banged on the wall, making sure not to hurt my hands too much; there was still the last show to play. I felt arms wrap around me and pull me away from the wall; I didn’t even realize that I had started sobbing. Turning around, I saw Brendon, concern in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came, so instead I began hitting him. “It’s all your goddamn fault!”

“The hell did I do?” Brendon asked with bewilderment.

“You with your crooked smile, and gorgeous lips, your beautiful brown eyes, the way you’re always there for me, and really for anyone who ever needs you.” I let my arms drop, and he released me. “I’m sorry; it’s not your fault. It’s mine, for some strange reason I can’t seem to be content with having the amazing boyfriend that Alex is.” I stared at him, shook my head, and walked away.

____________________________________________________

“Alex!” I yelled at him, he turned back at me.

“Yea?” He took long strides towards me, and held my hand.

I began to cry again, just like the crybaby I am.

“Whoa whoa whoa, what’s wrong?” Oh so kindly, Alex began to wipe away my tears.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to.”

“Didn’t want to what?”

“Like him. I denied it as much as I could, but I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

Alex wouldn’t look at me, but was just staring off into space. “I’ve known you liked him; ever since I saw your first interview. It was in your eyes, but he had Sarah. I was just kidding myself in thinking that maybe I could make you like me. But obviously it’s always been Brendon.” Alex sighed and continued. “Not that I blame you, I’d go gay for the dude. Well actually Jack will forever be my lover, but you get my point?”

“No…”

Alex hugged me tightly. “I still want to be friends, I’m not going to throw away the past 6 months. And I don’t blame you, we were both kind of living in our delirium.” Alex walked back towards his band. I stood there trying to understand what happened. I crumpled to the ground and stared at nothing.

“Elizabeth…” Brendon said as he rounded the corner. He got down on my level and kissed me. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back.

I gasped. “No…” I jumped up and shook my head. “I’m sorry.”

Brendon hugged me, “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I was being an eavesdropper and yea…”

“No, you’re fine. It’s me. I’m just a fucked up person, kissing people like a whore. I go from one relationship, to kissing someone else.” I glanced up at his big brown eyes. “I need time.”

_________________________________________

For the first few nights back, Brendon stayed with Spencer, and I avoided everyone. That is, until Jack called me at midnight.

“E, come over to Alex’s please, he’s not in the best of states and he really needs you.”

I nodded even though he wouldn’t be able to tell. “Be right over.” I didn’t even bother getting dressed, I just stayed in my pajamas and put my sneakers on before running out the door. The drive over was only about 15 minutes, but it felt like 15 minutes too long. I quickly ran into the house and immediately noticed how trashed the place was, and how trashed Alex was. “Alex, are you okay?” I looked for any visible injuries and thankfully noticed none. “Jack, make some coffee, and get the Milanos, they’re in the 2nd cabinet, 1st row.

Jack had never been as serious as he was at that moment.

“Alex, hey come on let’s get you up.” I nudged him as I took away the bottle of vodka. Tears began to sting my eyes, I felt like it was my fault for not loving him enough.

Jack walked over with the coffee and Milanos.

Alex was crying as he lifted his head to look at me. Once I had a clear view of his arms, I ran out of the room to vomit. My stomach felt emptily heavy.

I walked back to the room where I found Jack cleaning up vomit. Alex was getting to his nauseous state.

Placing Alex’s arms on my lap, I kissed all 4 scars.

“I’m so sorry…” Both of us were crying while Jack stood awkwardly, he wanted to help, but he didn’t want to intrude. Looking into Alex's eyes, I saw that deep sadness that I had once seen in myself. “No… No, no, no…” I latched on to Alex. “Stay here please, don’t leave us, please!” I was growing hysterical as I saw my high school self within Alex. “You’re my best friend, I need you.”

Alex’s voice came out hoarse, as if he hadn’t used it in a millennium. “But you don’t love me.”

Suddenly Jack grabbed Alex’s face. “She loves you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, that is pure adoration, and right now concern. She’s my best friend too, and killing yourself is going to kill her, which in turn will kill many others. So get over yourself, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, right? You’ve at least had someone to love you like crazy.” Jack stormed off and slammed the front door behind him.

“Alex, trust me, you are one sexy mother fucker, and you will find someone that will want no one but you. I didn’t want to become Lisa, it wouldn’t be fair to you if I were to pine for some other guy, while stay with you. But at the same time, it would be unfair to me if I were to stay with you and always wonder.” The drying tears were leaving stains on my cheeks.

“But E, two people I have loved so much, don’t love me back.”

“It’s not the end of the world. Many a time have I fallen for someone who didn’t even think of looking my way. You have thousands of girls that would love to sex you up. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right one to pop up.”

Alex nodded and wiped away his tears. “Thanks, but just know that I still love you, but I’m coping…” Alex glanced down at his wrists. “I’ll try to cope better…” He smiled slightly, and that made me smile like a little kid.

“It’s cliché, but ‘it gets better’.” We laughed at the trite expression. I looked for some gauze and began to bandage his wrists. Alex began to doze off and I dragged him to his bed. Once he was tucked in and snoring the light snore, I closed his bedroom and began Alex-proofing the house. I took away all alcohol, and anything that resembled a blade. Once that was done, it was past 4 in the morning.

I got in my car and decided to check in on Jack; I could practicly hear my ringtone playing. “Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time!” I chuckled, I actually felt happy knowing that at least for a while, Alex was safe-and-sound in his bed.

“Yellow!”

“Hey Jack, are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m fine; just got a little pissed that he takes so much stuff for granted. But eh, I guess when you’ve got the looks, you can afford to.”

“Aww, Barakitty, you know you’re a smexy beast.” I giggled as I opened my door. “Well it’s good to know you’re okay.”

“Welcome home…”

That deep voice, did not come from the phone.

I screamed and dropped the phone to the ground in shock.