What to Love and What to Burn
One
I like watching things burn. Anything from paper to metal to food. I burn things all the time, watching it all burn to ashes. I burn the past, the present the future. Everything goes.
The smell of burning flesh, that's the only thing I can't take. The smell of burning flesh is one of the most horrible smells in the world. That stench will never leave me. It'll stay for my whole life. Every waking moment of the rest of my existence I will smell it. At any given time it will sneak up on me like a cat on a mouse.
Everything I do, it's all worth it. I get rid of all the pain, all the hurt. It'll never fully leave though. It will stay for the rest of my life.
"Avalon look!" She called, her voice high pitched. She was only five. She didn't know.
"Sarah don't touch that!" Mom yelled. Sarah stopped.
"Avalon get in here!" My father, he was always nice to me.
"Yes daddy?" I asked. I was older than Sarah, a teenager.
"I need you to throw this into the fires for me. I don't need them any longer." He said, handing me a folder. I nodded and made my way towards the living room.
"Sarah want to come watch?" I asked, stopping in the kitchen where she was with my mother.
"No. You go ahead." Sarah said, preoccupied with the cookie dough my mom was mixing. I nodded, walked into the living room, and sat in front of the fireplace. The fire wasn't a big one, but once I started throwing the papers in it got bigger.
"Avalon get that done and get in here!" My mother yelled. I sighed, throwing the whole thing in at once. I stayed for a moment and watched it burn before walking into the kitchen.
"Yes mother?" I asked.
"Take your sister outside to play." She said. I looked at Sarah who was wearing two coats and a scarf. Poor kid.
"Yes mom." I said. I grabbed my coat off the hanger and put it around myself before letting my sister out before me.
"Wait up Sarah!" I called putting my gloves on as Sarah ran ahead. She stopped on the sidewalk to wait for me before she crossed the road.
"Come on then." I held her hand and crossed. We walked into town and went to the park.
"Look Avie!" She yelled to me from the swings. I saw her pointing up to the sky, where smoke was. I thought nothing of it, it was the middle of winter and there would be smoke in the sky from fireplace chimneys.
"I see Sarah!" I called standing. People, mostly parents, were entering the park, I had to be nice and let them have the bench.
"Sarah we should get going soon." I said, she was a good kid. She stopped the swing and held onto my gloved hand with hers. We started walking home.
"Avie!" She screamed. I looked up from the ground we were walking on and looked at the flames coming from our house. Firemen desperately trying to get control.
"Excuse me. I live here what's happening?" I yelled, breaking through the crowd. A police officer turned and looked down at Sarah and I.
"Avalon and Sarah Miles?" He asked. I nodded.
"I fear that we may have to put you in our care for now. No one came from the house and we still haven't gotten the flames down. It'll be okay though."
It'll be okay
It wasn't. Our parents were dead. Their bodies dragged out the next day in the clean up. The stench horrible. Their skin black and burned. Sarah started to sob when she saw them. Holding onto me. I kept a grim face, not feeling anything.
"Sarah I need you to do what they say to you okay?" I asked. A year later, Sarah was six and didn't understand anything that was going on. I was fifteen and understood everything. They were adopting us.
"Okay." She sniffed. I nodded and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. I felt her let go of me and I put my hands on her face.
"It'll be okay. We'll be safe and we'll have a home." I said. She nodded.
"You'll be with me right?"
"Of course sweetie." I whispered. She lay down in the bed, I finally got her to sleep.
"I'm Terry and this is my wife Janice." A man said. I looked up from the book that I was reading and Sarah latched herself onto my left arm. When I stood up she changed to my left leg.
"I'm Avalon, this is Sarah." I said shaking their hands. Janice, the woman, smiled warmly.
"We'll give you a safe home."
Safe.
It was never safe. Sarah was scared of the fireplace, I embraced it's warmth and spend most of my time reading by it. And safe? Never.
There was always someone hurt. Whether it was stitches, or a broken bone. Whether it was Janice, Terry or even my little Sarah. Never me. I always managed to avoid it. I don't know how, but I knew that it wasn't good.
"Avalon! Sarah's crying again!" Janice screamed. I sighed, standing up. Being sixteen I was more independent than ever. I didn't want to take care of my seven year old sister all the time.
"Sarah what's wrong?" I asked softly, sitting on her bed beside her. She revealed her arm, which had a quarter sized bruise on it.
"What'd you do?"
"I banged it on the bedside stand." She said. I sighed and went to the kitchen where Terry and Janice were sitting. When I walked in they immediately stopped talking and looked at me. I got ice and went back to Sarah.
"Hold it there." I whispered. She nodded and laid back down. I snuck back into my own room, picked up my book and started reading again. It lasted five minutes.
"Avalon!" Terry called. I rolled my eyes and just brought the book with me.
"Yes?"
"Run down to the store and get us some things." He said handing me a list. I looked at it, then looked up to him and nodded. I took a bike from the garage and left. Coming back I saw a scene that would stick forever. Sarah's body was on the lawn, firefighters around it. I went up to the tape and that...that smell entered my body forever. It was unbearable. I had to leave.
No more. I couldn't take it.
So, my story isn't as gruesome as some other stories. It's not as grieving or as gory. It's just a story that could happen to anyone. But I never would have imagined that it would happen to me.
Never.
The smell of burning flesh, that's the only thing I can't take. The smell of burning flesh is one of the most horrible smells in the world. That stench will never leave me. It'll stay for my whole life. Every waking moment of the rest of my existence I will smell it. At any given time it will sneak up on me like a cat on a mouse.
Everything I do, it's all worth it. I get rid of all the pain, all the hurt. It'll never fully leave though. It will stay for the rest of my life.
"Avalon look!" She called, her voice high pitched. She was only five. She didn't know.
"Sarah don't touch that!" Mom yelled. Sarah stopped.
"Avalon get in here!" My father, he was always nice to me.
"Yes daddy?" I asked. I was older than Sarah, a teenager.
"I need you to throw this into the fires for me. I don't need them any longer." He said, handing me a folder. I nodded and made my way towards the living room.
"Sarah want to come watch?" I asked, stopping in the kitchen where she was with my mother.
"No. You go ahead." Sarah said, preoccupied with the cookie dough my mom was mixing. I nodded, walked into the living room, and sat in front of the fireplace. The fire wasn't a big one, but once I started throwing the papers in it got bigger.
"Avalon get that done and get in here!" My mother yelled. I sighed, throwing the whole thing in at once. I stayed for a moment and watched it burn before walking into the kitchen.
"Yes mother?" I asked.
"Take your sister outside to play." She said. I looked at Sarah who was wearing two coats and a scarf. Poor kid.
"Yes mom." I said. I grabbed my coat off the hanger and put it around myself before letting my sister out before me.
"Wait up Sarah!" I called putting my gloves on as Sarah ran ahead. She stopped on the sidewalk to wait for me before she crossed the road.
"Come on then." I held her hand and crossed. We walked into town and went to the park.
"Look Avie!" She yelled to me from the swings. I saw her pointing up to the sky, where smoke was. I thought nothing of it, it was the middle of winter and there would be smoke in the sky from fireplace chimneys.
"I see Sarah!" I called standing. People, mostly parents, were entering the park, I had to be nice and let them have the bench.
"Sarah we should get going soon." I said, she was a good kid. She stopped the swing and held onto my gloved hand with hers. We started walking home.
"Avie!" She screamed. I looked up from the ground we were walking on and looked at the flames coming from our house. Firemen desperately trying to get control.
"Excuse me. I live here what's happening?" I yelled, breaking through the crowd. A police officer turned and looked down at Sarah and I.
"Avalon and Sarah Miles?" He asked. I nodded.
"I fear that we may have to put you in our care for now. No one came from the house and we still haven't gotten the flames down. It'll be okay though."
It'll be okay
It wasn't. Our parents were dead. Their bodies dragged out the next day in the clean up. The stench horrible. Their skin black and burned. Sarah started to sob when she saw them. Holding onto me. I kept a grim face, not feeling anything.
"Sarah I need you to do what they say to you okay?" I asked. A year later, Sarah was six and didn't understand anything that was going on. I was fifteen and understood everything. They were adopting us.
"Okay." She sniffed. I nodded and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. I felt her let go of me and I put my hands on her face.
"It'll be okay. We'll be safe and we'll have a home." I said. She nodded.
"You'll be with me right?"
"Of course sweetie." I whispered. She lay down in the bed, I finally got her to sleep.
"I'm Terry and this is my wife Janice." A man said. I looked up from the book that I was reading and Sarah latched herself onto my left arm. When I stood up she changed to my left leg.
"I'm Avalon, this is Sarah." I said shaking their hands. Janice, the woman, smiled warmly.
"We'll give you a safe home."
Safe.
It was never safe. Sarah was scared of the fireplace, I embraced it's warmth and spend most of my time reading by it. And safe? Never.
There was always someone hurt. Whether it was stitches, or a broken bone. Whether it was Janice, Terry or even my little Sarah. Never me. I always managed to avoid it. I don't know how, but I knew that it wasn't good.
"Avalon! Sarah's crying again!" Janice screamed. I sighed, standing up. Being sixteen I was more independent than ever. I didn't want to take care of my seven year old sister all the time.
"Sarah what's wrong?" I asked softly, sitting on her bed beside her. She revealed her arm, which had a quarter sized bruise on it.
"What'd you do?"
"I banged it on the bedside stand." She said. I sighed and went to the kitchen where Terry and Janice were sitting. When I walked in they immediately stopped talking and looked at me. I got ice and went back to Sarah.
"Hold it there." I whispered. She nodded and laid back down. I snuck back into my own room, picked up my book and started reading again. It lasted five minutes.
"Avalon!" Terry called. I rolled my eyes and just brought the book with me.
"Yes?"
"Run down to the store and get us some things." He said handing me a list. I looked at it, then looked up to him and nodded. I took a bike from the garage and left. Coming back I saw a scene that would stick forever. Sarah's body was on the lawn, firefighters around it. I went up to the tape and that...that smell entered my body forever. It was unbearable. I had to leave.
No more. I couldn't take it.
So, my story isn't as gruesome as some other stories. It's not as grieving or as gory. It's just a story that could happen to anyone. But I never would have imagined that it would happen to me.
Never.