I'd lie&wait forever.

The heat in the room was unbearable, the bodies all crammed together everyone wishing to get closer.

Girls were screaming with excitement, some girls were talking about how excited they were for the show, others talking about the band that had just got down playing. I was alone in this sea of unrecognized faces.

The lights dimmed and the screams increased, people were jumping, pushing me forward. My body crashed into a gate, I was pressed in hard to the point it hurt. Everyone wanted to get closer, everyone was pushing and I was right in front of the stage, inches away from whatever was about to come on.

I could see the bright red hair even in this light, I knew where I was. I knew this place, I knew that man all to well. Was this really happening?

The stage lights went on and the familiar sound of 'Na Na Na' came into play which confirmed exactly what I had been thinking. I was really here.

I stood paralyzed while the rest around me jumped and screamed. I probably stuck out like a sore thumb. The only girl who looked like she was miserable, who wasn't screaming “Gerard fuck me!” But my eye's weren't on Gerard, my eyes were on him. The man with blond hair, the one with the silver bass that his fingers controlled with such a smoothness it sent a thrill down my spine. I could see him, only him, no one else mattered right now, it was as if everyone else was gone and we were the only two left in this room. He did not see me though, rarely looking up he was concentrated on making music.

The songs morphed together but my eyes never left Mikey, the boy I once knew now a man.

It all seemed to be going so fast, like someone had put us into fast forward. I was reaching out for him, reaching just as he went to leaving the stage.

“Mikey...” I whispered, his eyes lifted as he handed the guitar to the tech, for just a moment and his eyes connected with mine. “MIKEY!” His eyes, the look of surprise, the pain that flashed deep within. “MIKEY I'M SORRY!”

My body shot up in bed, his name leaving my lips.

White, the room was completely white. I was alone and it was night time. The moon was shinning in through the window, creating an ugly glow in the room. There was a beeping coming from beside me making the headache I already have throb twice as bad.

“Your awake,” the tiny voice from beside me caused a small jump to escape my body. I turned my head just as the women turned on the light.

A nurse. That explains the beeping at least, I was in the hospital.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head aches.” I said simply, turning my attention back out to the window. It was the first time I dreamed of something else other than running through the alley way but I'm unsure which dream is worse. Mikey, he looked so sad.

I had been informed by the doctors I had been in a coma for almost 3 months. They asked me all sorts of questions, my name, my home, anything that would be easy to know information about me to see if there was any damage to my brain.

Some of it came to me immediately, but other things had been blurred by the memories of my dreams of my time with Mikey and the others.

They called my mother and when morning finally surfaced she arrived with my sister.

Sammi was excited to see me awake, tears escaping her eyes but my mother seemed unmoved by it.

None of this seemed real to me though, it was just like another dream.

The days passed slowly, they kept me in the hospital for a few days making sure I was in stable health. Jada came to visit me and that was the first time I cried after waking up.

“You missed the concert,” Jada said with a half smile, “It was amazing, though it would have been better with you there.” She was sad, I wanted nothing more to tell her of my dreams but I couldn't explain it. I could never explain the things I felt.

“Yeah.....” I trailed off, this was not something I wished to talk about.

Time went by, I eventually found myself back at home. I was sentenced to the prison they call summer school in order to finish up what I had missed during my 'coma.'

Things didn't go back to normal, things just began to become weird. My mother and I had a 'no talk' thing going on. I was sure the yelling would begin as soon as I got home but rather my mother retreated to the kitchen and went about her day, ignoring my existence.

My sister did go a little bit back to normal, though she was careful around me. Never jumping on me, or hitting me. Probably scared that if she hurt me, I would go away.

Their was a blood stain on the carpet in the living room where I had hit my head, a reminder that this was real. Me hitting my head, that was real. The blood I saw before falling into a state of unconsciousness, that was real. Mikey, Gerard, Ray, and Frank, they weren't.

I was home again, in my time, it was what I had wanted but not like this. Everything was different, everyone was different, it was as if I had died and now I was a ghost no one wanted to be with. Like I didn't belong here anymore.

It was like this place wasn't real. It made me wonder, what would have happened if I stayed with the boys? Was it even possible for me to stay? Was any of that real, or was it just my brain mixing things together as I slept?

It felt real, it all felt so real. This time that I was in now, this felt like a dream. I dream I was ever so desperate to wake up from because all I wanted was to be sitting on the couch watching TV with Frank, telling Gerard how amazing he was a drawing, clapping when Ray played a new riff, holding Mikey's hand.

It was a Saturday, sometime in July. Two months had passed since I woke up, my room was bare, unable to even look at my posters anymore I tore them all down and stored them in a box that was hid safely under my bed.

I was laying down, staring at my ceiling, something I did often in my free time to think about life as it stood. Things were still different but repairing. My mother still avoided my like the plague, but it didn't bother me. It was exactly as I had wanted it before all this had happened.

My cellphone began to ring and I pushed myself from the bed, grabbing the device off the end table.

I clicked talk and muttered a small hello when Jada began to scream, a loud excited shrill that nearly made me deaf just by hearing it over the phone.

It took about 30 seconds before it stopped and she was breathing heavy.

“Okay, excited. Right, what's up?” I asked, peering down at my nails.

“I got you a birthday present!”

Birthday? That's right....my birthday's in July.

“Okay...” I was confused, what could have possibly caused this much excitement from Jada?

“I've kept a secret for like a month now and it's been killing me ever since! Are you ready?” She sounded like she was jumping up and down like a wild women.

“Yeah, sure what is it?”

“Tomorrow, for your birthday, were going to a MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SHOW!” I felt myself cringe.

“What....?” I was shocked, I wasn't ready for this. Not at all. It had only been a few months.

“Yeah! I got us front row tickets! I mean, sure they're just opening up for blink but who gives a fuck, IT'S STILL MCR!” She screamed, I felt like crying.

I was still trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't.

The nightmare after the hospital caming back into my memory. What if Mikey saw me? What if he remembered me? I wanted to see him but this wasn't the same Mikey that I think I know.

“Can I call you back?” My throat was dry but Jada said a quick okay before I hung up.

“It wasn't real. None of it was real. None. If you go, they won't know who you are. They won't because it was just a dream Mel. It was just a dream. They were never real.” I was trying to convince myself that it was true, but I couldn't. “It was never real. Mikey never loved you.”

And than, tears.