Hear You Me

“Hey pretty lady.”

Delilah looked up to see Jenna, John O’Callaghan’s girlfriend, smiling down at her. Jenna was fairly new to the group considering everyone in their circle of friends had known at least one other person for over five years. She and John had been dating for a year and a half and she fit in well with everyone. She was especially an asset to Delilah and had helped her tremendously with everything when Holland was sick and then the aftermath.

“Hey, Jen. How was your trip?” Delilah asked. Jenna had to go on a trip with her internship for the weekend so she had missed the party Friday night. As soon as she got back on Sunday she had called Delilah and said they needed to meet up. The pair decided to meet up at Starbucks that evening and Delilah was anxiously waiting to see why Jenna had insisted they meet up as soon as possible.

“It was good. Cold. I forgot that just because it’s warm in Arizona doesn’t mean it’s warm everywhere else. I mean it is February,” Jenna said as she took a sip of her drink. “So how was the party?”

“Good.” Delilah shrugged.

“Just good? Did anything interesting happen?”

“Umm…Ryan and I beat Gibbs and Halvo at beer pong. I think that was the most interesting thing.”

“You are the biggest bullshitter ever,” Jenna laughed. “You can stop pretending like you have no idea what I’m talking about. John told me about the fight between Joel and that one guy.”

“Damn. I forgot you and John tell each other everything.”

“I mean we are dating so…”

“Ok, Brantley, this guy that went to high school with Joel and me, made some comments about Holland and me so Joel got mad and punched him. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Oh yeah, a guy punching another guy for you is no big deal. Seriously Lila, when are you and Joel going to just admit you guys belong together?”

“We’re just friends,” Delilah said but she wouldn’t look Jenna in the eyes.

“I honestly think you’re confused, Lila. I think you like Joel, always have, but you feel bad since he dated Holland. I know that I barely knew Holland but I never thought they looked like they belonged together. Sure, Joel and Holland were a great couple but you and Joel have this undeniable chemistry.”

Delilah sighed. “Let’s say that hypothetically I like Joel. I feel so wrong. I mean he dated my best friend who is dead. Wouldn’t it be terrible to date him?”

“No the terrible thing would be to not date the guy you’ve been in love with forever. At least I’ve been told that you’ve been in love with him forever.”

“I don’t want to like him though.”

Jenna laughed. “Sweetie, you don’t get to pick who you like. The heart wants who it wants.”

“How did you and John start dating?”

“When I met John I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was tired of relationships ending and always being let down. Then I run into this guy in a restaurant and I thought he was some bum. He wasn’t going to college and he was in a band or something. He said he thought I was some stuck-up bitch. But then we seemed to constantly run into each other and we got to know each other better. One day it just clicked and now here we are. See you can’t always help who you fall in love with.”

“I’ve kept my feelings for Joel suppressed for so long though,” Delilah shrugged.

“That’s not fair to you. Don’t you think you guys at least deserve a fighting chance?”

“It’s always been Joel and Holland though. I don’t know if there could ever be Joel and Lila.”

“I honestly think you should have been honest about your feelings all those years ago but there’s nothing you can do about that now. What you do have control over is how you handle the situation the second time around.”

“It’s just complicated. I think maybe Joel and I are always meant to be unfinished business,” Delilah said as she thought back to the beginning of all the problems.

“Hey Lila! Thanks for coming to my game,” Joel beamed as he hugged his best friend.

“Joel, gross! You’re all sweaty,” Delilah made a disgusted face as Joel laughed. “You did really well today though. I can’t believe you get to play varsity even though you’re only a freshman.”

“I know. It’s awesome.”

“Hey Joel!” One of Joel’s teammates yelled at him as he walked by but instead of saying anything he just wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“What was that about?” Delilah asked.

“That? Oh…uhh…nothing. It’s stupid, actually. The varsity soccer guys and their girlfriends all go to the pizza place downtown on Friday nights and they invited me to go with them tomorrow. The only thing is I have to bring a girl.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, some of them thought we were dating since we hangout all the time but I told them we’re just best friends. I mean us dating would be so weird, right?”

“Yeah…umm…weird. So weird,” Delilah stuttered. “Well I better go because I’m supposed to do chores for my mom so I’ll see you later.”

“Oh, okay.” Joel said, surprised at Delilah’s abrupt leaving. “Again, thanks for coming. See you later.”

Delilah smiled before quickly walking away. She didn’t want anyone to see her tears. As she walked home she silently scolded herself. Why on earth did she think Joel, a high school freshman, would want her, a lowly eighth grader? She could just imagine the type of girl Joel would take with him to the pizza place. She’d be blonde and impossibly skinny, probably a cheerleader. Delilah knew she’d never be able to compete with someone that fit those criteria.

Delilah finally made it home and quickly wiped her eyes before walking inside. Thankfully, she was able to bypass her mother on the way to her room. She knew her mother would instantly be able to tell she’d been crying and an interrogation was the last thing Delilah felt like going through. Delilah threw herself into her homework to try and get her mind off of Joel. All too soon though her homework was done and her thoughts went back to him. She decided to go practice the piano because that was the one thing that was always able to make her happy when she was sad. Delilah had been playing for a few minutes when Holland came bounding through the front door, not even bothering to knock.

“Delilah! I have exciting news.”

“Really? What?” Delilah asked with anticipation. If she had known the next words coming out of Holland’s mouth thought she wouldn’t have been excited.

“Joel asked me on a date for tomorrow!”

“Wh..wha..what?”

“Well it’s more like a semi-date. I guess the soccer team goes out on Friday nights with their girlfriends and Joel needed a date so he asked me. Joel is really cute, you know? I’ve never really thought of him like that before but he’s definitely a cutie. Plus he’s a freshman.” Holland rambled.

“That’s great Holl. It really is.” Delilah managed to choke out.

“Delilah, do you like Joel?”

“What? No.”

“Are you sure? I mean you guys are really good friends and you hang out all the time. I don’t want to steal him from you if you do like him so just say the word and I won’t go out with him.”

“Holland, Joel and I are just friends. Go and have a great time with him,” Delilah lied and she knew she’d have to suppress her feelings at least for one day.

Little did she know she’d be lying and suppressing her feelings for many more years to come.

Delilah sighed as she thought over the memory. She turned to Jenna and said, “I’ve accepted the fact that Joel and I aren’t meant to be anything more than friends.”

“Lila, I think the two of you could be something great. I don’t want to tell you how to live your life but I do think you need to seriously consider telling Joel your feelings. Don’t let the past hold you back. You never know when something amazing will happen but you’ll never find out if you don’t take a chance.”

“When did you get so deep and philosophical?” Delilah joked.

“I think it’s from dating John,” Jenna laughed. “Seriously though, think about what I said. I mean the kid punched another dude for you for crying out loud!”

Delilah promised Jenna she’d think it over but she knew somthing happening between her and Joel always had been and always would be a hopeless wish.