Hear You Me

“Hey lil bro, what’s up?”

Joel gave a small smile as his brother answered the phone. He and Mark had their fair share of fights over the years, but they were extremely close and his older brother was one of the first people Joel went to when he needed advice – and he definitely needed advice at the moment.

“I’m good. Just wanted to check in and see how things were at home.”

“They’re good. How’s tour?”

“It’s good. The crowds are amazing. Almost every night is sold out and nearly everyone knows all the words to our songs. I can’t believe it. It’s definitely humbling.”

“That’s awesome, Joel. I’m real proud of you.”

“Thanks. How’s Bradene?” Joel asked, trying to find another topic to talk about so he could stall bring up the topic he really needed to talk about.

“She’s good,” Mark said and then chuckled. “So are you going to tell me the real reason you called or are we going to continue this awkward small talk?”

“You caught me,” Joel laughed before nervously continuing. “So, uhh…I…um…I kissed Delilah last night.”

“Like an actual kiss? Not one of those small little pecks?”

“Yeah,” Joel paused to clear his throat. “It was an actual kiss.”

“Well, finally. You’ve wanted to do that for nearly a decade.”

“I haven’t wanted to do it for a decade,” Joel rolled her eyes even though Mark couldn’t see.

“Yeah you have. You’ve always been in love with Delilah. Maybe now the two of you will actually admit your feelings.”

“It’s not that easy, Mark. We’re talking about Delilah here. Not only is she my best friend, but also Holland’s best friend. You remember Holland, don’t you? My dead girlfriend.”

“Joel, calm down. Yes, I remember Holland. You guys were broken up though when she died, remember? And yes, I’ll admit that these are some unusual circumstances, but you and Lila need to quit running from the truth. You guys have liked each other for years, but won’t admit it. Then you had to go and mess it up by asking Holland out instead of Lila.”

“Are you saying I didn’t love Holland?” Joel asked, starting to get defensive.

“No, not at all. Although I think you started to love Holland because you were with her for so long whereas you’ve always loved Lila. Lila’s your one.”

“I think I’ve messed it up though,” Joel sighed. “We were just talking like normal last night and then I leaned it to kiss her. Afterwards we didn’t really say anything; we just both went to our bunks.”

“Then you need to go and talk to her today. Joel, you’ve lost her once, you don’t want to lose her again.”

“You’re right. Thanks Mark.”

“Anytime, bro. And don’t forget about me being right,” Mark laughed. “Now go get her.”

Joel hung up with his brother feeling much better than he did before the call. He just needed to go find Lila and put all his feelings out on the line. It wasn’t going to be easy – and neither one would probably want a relationship quite yet- but at least they would know where the other stood and what could, hopefully, happen in the future.

Joel took a deep breath to calm himself and walked outside of the van. He shielded his eyes against the bright sun, but didn’t see anyone around so he figured everyone must be in the venue. He walked into the cool building and followed the sound of voices.

“Hey man. Where’ve you been?” Ryan asked as Joel walked towards his bandmates.

Joel shrugged. “Oh, I slept in a little and then was talking to Mark. Where’s Lila?”

“She went into town to do some shopping. Said she needed some time away from all the testosterone or something like that,” Sean spoke up. “Don’t worry though, she promised she’d be back by the time we went on.”

Joel felt disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to clear up this mess with Delilah until after the concert and couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that she was avoiding him. He pushed those thoughts aside though and began helping the guys set up for that evening.

It was five minutes until the boys went on stage and Delilah still wasn’t inside the venue. Joel was becoming worried and was considering going to look for her. He knew her couldn’t postpone the show, but it wasn’t like her to miss their show.

Right when Joel was getting ready to tell the guys to somehow stall so he could find Lila, she walked in the back door. Joel sighed with relief and gave her a smile. Delilah softly smiled back and mouthed sorry. Joel knew she was apologizing for being late and Joel just nodded his head to show he forgave her.

The show seemed to go by in a blur for Joel; the only thing he could think about was talking to Delilah afterwards. Joel did his normal routine of talking to fans after the show, but it seemed to drag by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Finally, Joel was able to get away and head back to the van.

Joel popped his head in the van and saw Delilah in the back reading.

“Hey, do you want to go on a walk?”

Delilah jumped at the sound of Joel’s voice, but visibly relaxed once she saw it was just him. “Geez Joel, give me a heart attack, why don't you?”

“Sorry,” Joel sheepishly apologized. “So, that walk? It’s just such a nice night out.”

“Sure,” Delilah smiled as she put her bookmark in the book to mark her place and untangled herself from the small seat. She got out of the van and the pair began walking in the moonlight.

“Did you have a good time shopping today?” Joel asked.

“I did,” Delilah nodded. “I love you boys, but sometimes I just need to get away.”

“Understandable,” Joel chuckled. “I was a little worried though when it was almost show time and you weren’t back.”

“Sorry about that. I lost track of time.”

“It’s fine. I was just worried you were avoiding me or something.”

“Why would I be avoiding you?”

“Uhh…well…I…uhh wasn’t sure if you were avoiding me because of what happened last night.”

“Oh.”

Joel waited for Delilah to go on but she never did. He knew it was now or never so he stopped and turned to look at her. He took a breath to tell her his feelings but stopped at the last minute. As he looked at her he saw their lives and friendship flash before his eyes. He also thought of his relationship with Holland and how that had ended even though at one point in time he thought they were going to be together forever. He realized that sometimes even the strongest relationships end and he couldn’t bear it if that happened between him and Lila. He knew if they dated and their relationship ended, they wouldn’t be best friends anymore. He was also worried that, maybe, Lila didn’t feel the same way and their relationship would get awkward. All those fears washed over Joel and he couldn’t say what he wanted.

“I just wanted to apologize for last night. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have done that.” Joel wasn’t sure where these words were coming from since they were the opposite of what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t stop.

“Oh, yeah, umm, I understand. We were both just really tired or stressed or something. Tour makes people crazy I guess.”

Joel could have sworn he saw a flicker of disappointment in Delilah’s eyes, but it was too late to turn back now. “So, nothing will change between us, right? I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

“Of course not,” Delilah shook her head, having a hard time looking Joel in the eyes.

“Good,” Joel forced a smiled. “Joel and Lila – best friends, the way it’s always been.”

“Yep. Like it’s always been,” Delilah muttered, praying that Joel couldn’t tell her heart was currently breaking.