Hear You Me

Delilah looked around the restaurant as she searched for Mr. and Mrs. Vanderson. Holland’s parents were in Phoenix for the holidays and they wanted to meet up with Delilah and Joel for a bit. As soon as Holland’s funeral was over they had gone over to Africa for a mission trip.

“There they are,” Joel said as he motioned over to one of the back corners.

Delilah and Joel headed over to where the Vanderson’s sat and Delilah couldn’t help but notice how much they’d aged in just a few short months. Holland had gotten her long dark hair from her mother. Now, Teresa Vanderson’s hair had much more gray in it. Peter Vanderson had noticeable wrinkles on his face that hadn’t been there just a few months ago. Both of their eyes looked tired and worn out as if living life without Holland was a burden. Delilah thought about how she could relate.

“Joel, Lila, it’s so good to see you,” Teresa said as she wrapped them in a hug.

“It’s good to see you guys, too,” Joel said after everyone had hugged and they sat down.

“So how’ve you guys been? How’s Africa?” Delilah asked.

“It’s good. The people we’re preaching to are very kind, much better than the last group we were with. At least I’m not scared for my life this time,” Teresa chuckled slightly.

“So how are you guys holding up?” Peter asked.

Delilah and Joel looked at each other quickly before Joel spoke up, “We’re okay…it’s been hard but at least we have each other.”

“Hey guys. Sorry I’m late,” a new voice said by their table. The four looked up to see Hunter Vanderson standing there.

“Hunter, I’ve missed you,” Teresa said as she stood up to hug her son.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” Hunter said as he sat down. “Hey Joel. Hey Delilah.”

Joel and Delilah smiled back at Holland’s brother. The five sat around the table eating lunch and reminiscing.

“I remember the day you and Holland met, Delilah,” Peter laughed. “Even from day one you guys were attached at the hip.”

“Yeah, and I remember how Hunter got us in trouble,” Delilah said as she pretended to glare at Hunter.

“You deserved it,” Hunter smirked.

Five year old Delilah stood shyly behind her mother as the family she’d never seen before entered the house. Her parents had told her a family was coming over for dinner but Delilah hated meeting new people.

“Delilah, come here and meet the Vandersons,” Delilah’s father said.

Delilah shyly walked up and met Peter and Teresa Vanderson and their two kids, Hunter and Holland.

“Hi, I’m Holland and this stinky head is my brother Hunter,” the girl said.

“Holland Ruth! What have we told you about you calling your brother a stinky head?” Peter sternly said.

“It’s not nice so don’t say it,” Holland sighed before turning to Delilah and whispering, “It’s true though.”

“Why don’t you guys go out back and play?” Delilah’s mother said as she motioned the three kids towards the back door.

“So are you an only child?” Holland asked.

“Yes,” Delilah said.

“Lucky. Do you want my brother?”

The girls looked over at Hunter who was playing with his monster trucks in the dirt.

“Eww no! Boys have cooties,” Delilah vigorously shook her head. “Do you want to play Barbies?”

Holland nodded and the two sat down as they bonded while playing with the skinny, blonde dolls.

“What are you guys doing?” Hunter asked as he came over to where the girls were. He had become bored with his toy trucks and now wanted to annoy his sister and her new friend.

“We’re playing Barbies, dummy,” Holland said.

“Barbies are for babies and don’t call me dummy,” Hunter retorted.

Holland stood up and began chanting, “Hunter is a dummy. Hunter is a dummy.”

Hunter didn’t respond but instead grabbed one of the Barbies the girls had been playing with and threw it in the front yard close to the street.

“That’s my favorite Barbie,” a sad Delilah softly said.

“Hunter! Go get her Barbie,” Holland demanded.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Fine, Delilah and I’ll just go get it,” Holland said.

“My mommy and daddy say I can’t go in the front yard especially by the street,” Delilah quickly said.

“We’ll just go get it real fast. They won’t even know,” Holland reassured her.

“I don’t know…” Delilah trailed off.

“Don’t you want your Barbie?” Holland asked and Delilah nodded her head. “Then let’s go get it.”

Delilah agreed and this marked the first of many times Holland would convince Delilah to go against her better judgment to do something. That was how Holland and Delilah’s friendship was though. Delilah was the cautious one who always played by the rules and saw the world in black in white while Holland believed the world had more gray areas and that rules were meant to be broken.

Delilah and Holland looked around to make sure the coast was clear and then scrambled to where the Barbie lay. Holland had just reached the Barbie and held her up triumphantly when they suddenly heard the door open.

“Delilah Magdalene, what are you doing by the street?” Delilah’s father yelled.

“We were…” Delilah started but her mother quickly cut her off.

“You know better than to play by the street.”

“Holland, you know better also. Thank goodness Hunter told us what you guys were doing,” Teresa said.

“But Hunter…” Holland started.

“Holland we don’t want to hear it. Now I think it’s time for you guys to get inside,” Peter said.

The two girls sullenly walked inside. Hunter was smirking and stuck his tongue out at them as they passed. Once they were safely inside and away from their parents Holland marched up to Hunter and hit him on the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” Hunter whined.

“That was for getting me and my best friend in trouble,” Holland said.

“I’m you best friend?” Delilah asked.

“Yes, you are,” Holland answered.

“I’m still mad at you for getting us in trouble,” Delilah pouted.

Hunter rolled his eyes, “You guys shouldn’t have called me a dummy then.”

“Holland always did have a way with words,” Joel joked as everyone else laughed.

The check came a few minutes later and everyone prepared to leave.

“Thanks for having lunch with us,” Peter said as he gave Joel and Delilah one last hug.

“Anytime,” Joel said. “So when are you guys heading back to Africa?”

“The day after Christmas,” Teresa answered.

“Yeah, Heaven forbid you stay here any longer than necessary. As soon as the holidays are done you guys are gone,” Hunter muttered.

“Hunter, not here,” Peter snapped.

“Then when, dad? We don’t talk about it in private; we can’t talk about it in public. I’d just really like to know when we can talk about it. Holland’s dead and I miss her like crazy every single day but you have to face the fact that she’s not coming back. I have. Instead you and mom throw yourselves into your mission work and forget about me. Holland may be gone but I’m still here. I’m still your son,” Hunter said before marching out of the restaurant.

The four looked at each other for a few seconds before Delilah spoke up, “I’ll go talk to him.”

“Oh Lila, you don’t have to. We can take care of it,” Teresa said.

“It’s fine. Sometimes you need a new set of ears to talk to. I’ll just have Joel drive me over to Hunter’s,” Delilah said.

Joel and Delilah made the short drive over to Hunter’s. Joel parked in the driveway asked, “Do you want me to wait on you?”

Delilah shook her head, “No, it’s fine. This might take a while. I’ll just have Hunter take me home.”

“Ok, see you later,” Joel smiled before driving off.

Delilah sighed and made her way up to Hunter’s door. She knocked and patiently waited for Hunter to answer.

Hunter answered the door and warily looked out. “Did my parents send you here?”

“No, I offered to come. I thought you might like someone to talk to.”

Hunter opened the door wider and motioned for Delilah to come in.

“I should have known you’d be the one to come over and talk to me. I mean you are going to school to be a psychologist,” Hunter said as he stared at Delilah with his arms crossed.

“Actually, I want to be a counselor, a family counselor.”

Hunter gave a sarcastic laugh. “Then this is right up your alley, isn’t it? Console the family of your dead best friend. We’re like the perfect case study for you.”

Delilah marched over to Hunter with anger flashing in her eyes and said, “Don’t you dare say I’m using you guys as a case study. I’m trying to help you and your parents. Hell, I’m trying to help myself! Holland was like my sister and I was always there for here. I was there for her when you and your parents weren’t.”

Delilah took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself before the realization of what she said overcame her. “Shit, Hunter, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

“No, you really did mean it. That’s fine though because that’s the truth. My parents left Holland and me here to live with our aunt while they went all over Africa and we only got to see them a few times a year. Then there were those couple years when I was too high to notice anyone but myself.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have said that to you Hunter. I’m sorry.”

“Delilah, never be sorry for saying what needs to be said. If there’s one good thing I’ve learned from all this mess that would be it. Holl and I hated that our parents were never around but we never said anything about it. We felt as if they loved being missionaries more than they loved us but we never said a word. Then I didn’t tell Holl how much I loved her enough.”

“She knew, Hunter. She knew how much you loved her,” Delilah softly said.

“I know…it’s just tough. It’s tough without her here,” Hunter said and Delilah nodded in agreement.

They were silent for a few seconds until Delilah brought up the question she was scared to ask but needed to know. “So, have you…are you doing drugs again?”

Hunter shook his head. “No, I’m not. Although there are some moments, like the one back at the restaurant, when I wish I still did. When I got clean I made a promise to Holl that I wouldn’t start again and I plan to keep that promise, especially now. Holland helped me realize that I was doing drugs because I felt as if our parents abandoned us and I was angry. I was also tired of people expecting me to be perfect and holy just because my parents were missionaries.”

“I know the feeling,” Delilah softly agreed. “People expect me to be perfect but in all honesty I’m a mess, especially with Holland gone.”

Hunter walked over to Delilah and wrapped her in his arms. “We can be messes together.”

Delilah leaned into Hunter and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent. She knew that Holland had always thought Delilah was delusional for liking Hunter and Delilah had eventually gotten over him but being in his arms again brought up memories. Getting over the boy who had been your first crush was always the hardest.