101 Reasons

Love means
Never having to say you’re sorry.
-Love Story by Erich Segal

When we reached home my mom greeted me with her unusual interest in how I look.

“You look pretty,” she almost whispered, though I get that a lot (haha. Sorry for being over self confident. I think every girl should be because we’re all pretty.) hearing it from my mom made it different.

Unlike every other moms, my mom isn’t really vocal and expressive, pretty much like me hence the usual mother-daughter clashes. So it kind of sends shivers down my spine when she told me I’m pretty.

“Thanks mom. You never really say that often.” I kidded. All of a sudden she hugs me and I saw James took a quick escape so that he won’t notice any girly dramas.

“You are. I’m so happy you’re my daughter though you have your flaws, but hell who is someone without a flaw.”

I laughed, “Did you actually said hell?”

“I’ve heard it a lot from you, your brother and Stan.”

I smiled and my mom motioned me to sit by the sofa, I did. This is our first time to actually talk, before it’s all about yelling and arguing and you know the usual walkout stuff.

“Stan’s been really supportive huh. I was the one who told him about you, I see James spaced out a lot of times then and I figured that he needs a confidante, and you know your brother’s only friend is Stan right? So I told him everything. And you know what, he didn’t even cry, well I don’t actually expect him to, but he was very composed after that. and then he asked me if he can stand by you too because he really, really likes you.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing, my Mom is a tattletale! Kidding! I’ve hated my mom my whole life and I never knew that all she ever did is to protect me. pretty much, when you thought that your mom is the greatest villain in your almost perfect life you’re wrong, the same way I realized about it now.

“I’m really sorry.” I said and then hugged her.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I smiled, my mom quoted from a book again, before it’s mostly about psychology and analyzing your teen daughter quotes but now it’s from Erich Segal’s Love Story.

“I didn’t know you read novels.”

“Because you didn’t actually want to get to know me then. Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll have the rest of our lives for catching up.”

I prayed that she is right.

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The next morning I called Aya, Lee and Stan to join me and my brother to sign up as volunteers in Young Hearts. They all agreed, but I really have to warn Aya about her bursting into tears when she sees the children thin and sickly, she promised to never shed a tear and I hope that she will.

My brother told me that he’ll be a little late and that he’ll come with Stan as well. Aya and I met at the coffee shop nearby and waited for Lee.

“Maybe he’s still asleep.” She said as she dialed Lee’s number about a gazillion times now.

“that good for nothing…. LEE! Where the hell are you??” Aya shouted at Lee as if he’s an hour late when infact we are only waiting there for what… 5 minutes.

“What??! Hurry up!!! Go there on your own!” Aya turned off her phone her ears red with anger.

“Lemme guess, he just woke up?” she nodded. We went to Young Hearts and met with Cassidy.

When she saw us she shouted something incomprehensible and then came waving like us like crazy. When we were almost there I saw three almost bald guys emerged from the background. I narrowed my eyes a little and when I see who they are I almost laughed and cry at the same time.

There they were, Stan, Lee and James all almost bald, semi, I don’t know what cut it is but it’s as if they’re all joining the military.

“What the hell??!” I said, Aya is speechless, she didn’t know about this too.

“Well at first they thought they’d make you a wig, but we all know that they can’t even if we all combine their hairs together.” Cassidy laughed, I never knew that they would sacrifice something like this.

Lee for instance loved his hair so much next to his life, when you touch or tussle his hair he’d go ballistic and will lecture you for hours on how hard it is to make his hair look neat. Stan never really cared about his looks anyway; he’ll just go with the flow. As for James, he’s if not, the vainest man on earth!

“If you barf we’ll barf the hell out of ourselves like bulimics too.” Stan said smiling widely.

“How do I look?” Lee asked but not to me, to Aya.

“Well, honestly speaking… you look odd.” James then pulled something out of his pocket and then inched closer to Lee, he then draw some wrinkles on Lee’s face while Stan holds Lee in one place trying not to loosen his grip because he is shaking with laughter.

“Now?” James said trying to sound rather serious.

“Mor0n!” Lee said glaring at both James and Lee.

“Perfect! You now look like my great grandfather, I feel safe.” Aya replied with mock seriousness, as if she’s a nun preaching something.

We laughed and headed to the children’s hospital with Lee half cursing and half joking with his wrinkles and their heads.

________________________________________________________________

When we reached the hospital, the nurses in the ward are rather pleased to have us around. Lee went to he boys who are playing toy cars while Stan went to a group of boys and girls playing Pairs. James volunteered to accompany Cassidy to talk to the hospital director about our party plan, which we’ll sponsor for the kids. When they left James seems like the happiest guy on earth. Aya went to a girl busy brushing her Barbie doll’s hair.

“I’ll handle one for now.” She said winking at me.

I searched for Sierra but she’s nowhere in sight, I then saw a girl sitting with her mom so I approached them, “Hi, do you know where Sierra is?”

The girl pointed at the corner and I saw Sierra’s father sitting on a bed, “She’s not feeling well. Ate when you finish talking to her can you read us a story.”

I smiled at the little girl and nodded before I left.

When Sierra’s dad saw me, he somehow felt relieved; his expression somehow tells me that something is wrong.

“Sierra honey, your favorite girl is here.” I looked at Sierra’s dad and he smiled, “She really likes you, she told me that your hair is the softest she had ever known.”

Sierra opened her eyes a little and then smiled, “I want to tell you something.” She said weakly.

“What is it?” I said as I knelt beside her bed and held her hand.

“Do you know the magic behind shooting stars?” my heart starts to beat loudly on my chest.

“No.” I said trying to keep my voice steady.

Sierra then stopped, took a deep breath, it’s as if she can’t talk anymore, “Tell her daddy.” She whispered.

“Okay sweetie.” His dad said as he is stroking Sierra’s head. “When a star falls down from the sky, it means that an angel will fetch a soul here on Earth, and that soul will then become an angel and as a sign that she once existed on Earth a bright new star will emerge from the skies.” His dad said his face flowing with tears.

“Two nights before you came.” Sierra started, two nights? That was the time I asked for a sign, for a shooting star. “I saw a shooting star Ate.” She stops and breathes, my tears now flowing from my face.

“I think we should call the nurses.” I told her dad, but he just sat there his hands holding Sierra’s.

“I think someone is going to fetch me. I love you daddy.” she said and her dad answered her with a smile, Sierra looked at me and smiled, “Ate.” She stops and then she closed her eyes, I thought for a second there that she’s gone, but I felt her breathing, “I’m your falling star.” And all of a sudden her other hand is not holding mine anymore.

My mind blurred when I felt some nurses pulling us away from Sierra, they’re doing CPRs, they’re putting her into monitors, oxygen, tubes and the only clear voices that I hear are from nurses and doctors shouting, “Clear.” As they try their hardest to keep Sierra alive.

I look at her dad and saw that his face is somehow at peace.

“Sir.” I whispered. I’m already trembling, scared that one day, just as suddenly as it happened today, everything will happen to me too.

“I’m really sorry.” Sierra’s dad then hugged me.

“You have nothing to feel sorry for, Sierra is our angel now.”

Certain things, I vowed to myself, certain things that I’ll never give up on no matter what happens,

is the ability to love, to hope, to have faith and to forgive without judgment those who had wronged me.