101 Reasons

“But if you want to leave you can.
I’ll remember you though,
I remember everyone that leaves”
-Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)

“I knew you’d be up here.” I said, praying real hard that Stan wouldn’t push me off the roof because of what happened earlier.

He didn’t reply, I sat besides him and looked to where he was looking. “Wherever you’re going be safe ok?”

“My dad isn’t really fond of your family. He told me James is an as$h0le who brings bad influence in my life, he never knew if it isn’t because of your family I’d be locked up in prison right now.” He sighed and then continued, “They’re finally getting annulled, they can’t stand each other, my mom practically shooed me off, told me that I’m just like my fvcking dad. Then my dad thought that he can actually use me, we’ll be going to New York next week and he already made some wedding arrangements just so they can help my dad in business and start anew.”

I felt relieved that he isn’t looking at me, hot tears suddenly flowed down my cheeks as I try to ingest everything he said.

“You know I wouldn’t do it, I’m too afraid to tell both you and James the truth. I don’t want you to see me like some fvcking robot that can be controlled by whoever.”

“You just go with your dad and do everything that you can. He needs you”

“I can’t just leave you.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. The wind blew softly in my face and the silent whooshing of it played like a soft background suited to whatever it is that we’re feeling right now.

The stars above us are the only witness of what promises we still have to make tonight.

“I swear I’ll come back. You know I’ll never leave you.”

I held his hand for the last time, not knowing when I can hold it again.

"You will try to come back, won't you?"

"I promise, I'll try."

And for the first time that we've been together, he kissed me goodbye.

Was it two days since he left? Two whole days? I stand in front of his house, I was merely out for my usual walk but my feet ended up dragging me to where he first kissed me. Only the skies and the stars are the witnesses of what had happened that night.

I reached for the gate and then hesitated, loneliness enveloped my heart, he hasn’t called, hasn’t e-mailed, I haven’t got any message from him since he left.

I took out yet again another unfolded star that I picked from the happy stars he gave me, “With you I am never alone.” Was it only reason number 14? I didn’t know I would be reading it alone.

“Stalking much?” came an irritated voice behind me, I cringed in the sound of her voice.

“What is it that you want Steph? I didn’t know you actually have a home.” I snapped.

“Get a life Ann Llanza, even your name is boring.” Just then a familiar guy stepped out from the front door where Stan used to live.

“Hey! S you’re here!”

“Hey Enz!” Steph almost knocked me off as she went straight to Lorenzo. If only I have elastic hands it will now be pulling her hair off her head!

“Hey Ann!” Renzo shouted.

“You know her?”

“Where are you going?”

“Away from your cousin’s b1tch1n’, tell her to b1tch around when she actually have a right, she’s not even pretty.” I stuck out my tongue and then turned my heels and waved.

I heard Steph’s angry cursing and Renzo’s loud and monstrous laugh.

I walked a little farther and realized how small one’s world can be, I didn’t expect Renzo will be the new tenant in Stan’s old “home”. Life is full of surprises and each day I unravel them one at a time, some makes my heart float and some just breaks it into pieces.

When I reached home, I noticed how odd it was without Stan and James’ constant play by play preview of whatever sport they’ve decided to see.

I remember how James can easily win any bet they make and how Stan will have to wait till he pays his debt, which is mostly washing the dishes and making James’ homework. Or even trying t figure out what great revenge will they put on to Cassidy.

And then I remembered the people that came into my life ever since “cancer” happened. Sierra. Uncle Sam. Cassidy. Stan. all of them gave me hope still all of them left.

When I reached upstairs I hear shuffling of papers, I saw James holding a piece of paper in his hands. My heart beats loudly in my chest and I know I have to see it.

When he heard the door creak he immediately hid the papers from his back looking like a complete m0r0n.

“What’s that?”

“What?”

“The paper you just hid. I saw that!”

“What paper?”

“Is it from Stan???”

He just looked at me, and I can hear my ehart breaking into tiny pieces, I shouldn’t have asked.

“He’s getting married next week.”

And that was the last that I’ve heard of him.