What Happens Over the Summer

No matter how much it irked me, I called in sick the next day. I had a ton of sick leave saved up because I hadn't taken a day off since I'd started security. I planned to use it all up until R.J. was gone. He couldn't stay on the shore forever.
At about ten o'clock, my grandmother walked into my room. "Jo," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here? Doesn't your shift start at seven?"
"I don't feel well," I said with a straight face and tried to go back to the book I'd been reading in bed. I hadn't gotten off the first page.
Grams came and sat next to me on the bed. "Does that have anything to do with the man that came into the security office yesterday?"
"How did you...? Cheif," I said, beladedly schooling my features.
"You never told us about any boy," she continued to probe.
"There was no need to. Nothing ever happened."
"I didn't expect anything to. We didn't raise you like that."
I didn't want to burst her bubble by telling her that if R.J. would have pressed the issue, something would have happened. But he never had. I didn't like remembering how noble he had been. He'd probably learned his lesson by getting one girl pregnant.
"Besides, it was just a stupid summer romance."
Grams nodded. "Bull feathers."
I looked at her strangely.
"If it was just a summer romance you would have told us about it. If not us, then at least Zeke. I think that young man meant something to you." I looked away. "And maybe he still does."
"It wouldn't matter if he did. He's a jerk. He abandoned his own son-"
"He accidentially got separated from his son-"
"No. He abandoned him right after he was born. That's why he was here that summer we were involved. He was running."
"But he has his son now."
My brain went blank. "Yeah," I said slowly. "But..." But what? Grams was waiting patiently. "He lied to me."
"No one is truthful all the time Jo. You didn't tell us about this boy at all."
"But who did that hurt?"
"Who did is ommission hurt?" Grams countered.
"Me! I thought he cared about me but he lied. He told me he'd come back. Five years I waited for him. And then he comes back and he'd been lying to me the whole summer."
"There is a thing called forgiveness."
"And why should I give him that?"
"Because you love him."
I turned away so that she didn't see the wetness in my eyes. And my eyes fell right to my nightstand and the damned alarm clock. The one that no longer worked. Just like a relationship between R.J. and I would never work.
Then what the hell was I doing hiding from him? I'd never hidden from anything or anyone in my life. I wasn't about to start now.
I got up and picked up the alarm clock, staring at the second hand that was ticking but not moving. I walked over to my trashcan and dropped the device into it.
"I don't love him. I never have loved him. And I never will love him. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get ready for work."
"I thought you were sick," Grams said.
"I suddenly feel better."
"You can't run from your problems."
"You'll never catch me running from anything."
"That's your problem dear. Your pride won't let you. But sometimes pride becomes stubborness. And stubborness can stand in the way of happiness."
"I'm perfectly happy," I practically snarled.