What Happens Over the Summer

Two days later I heard something outside my door. I didn't bother to look up or call out. I'd been laying in bed since R.J. and Max had left with my arms wrapped around the teddy bear R.J. had won me five summers ago. Someone knocked. I didn't answer.
The door opened and Zeke came in. There was no sympathy on his face, like there was on my grandmother's every time she came in to check on me.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
"Hoping for a quick and merciful end," I said.
"Real funny. You've been holed up here for two days. Do you know how worried everyone is? All your Grams would tell Chief is that you're not feeling well and she didn't know when you were coming back. We thought you were dying!"
"I am."
"From some guy? Come on Jo, you're the toughest person I know. You wouldn't let a guy get you this far down."
My eyes misted over-they'd been doing that a lot lately. "It's not his fault."
"The hell it isn't! Your Grams said he came over a few days ago and when he left you came in here and haven't left since."
"I was an idiot."
"What did he do-. Hold on. What?"
I sniffled. "I screwed up. I was wrong. I hurt him and Max."
"The kid?" Some of the anger was beginning to leave Zeke.
"Yeah. I told R.J. I didn't want him and Max heard and-and...his mother, left him. Just abandoned him. And now I've gone and done it too-" By this time I was sobbing into the bear.
Zeke came over and sat next to my head. He rested a hand on my hair. "So why are you still here?"
"What?"
"Shouldn't you go and apologize?"
I looked at him in horror.
"I know, you apologizing. I'm not even sure if that's possible. But I also thought it wasn't possible for you to care so much for a man that you're so broken up."
"I'm not broken up."
"Jo you've been wallowing in misery for two days hugging a dollar store teddy bear."
I blinked. "It would never work. He'd never take me back. I wouldn't take me back. I was a horrible person."
"I like this guy."
He got the horror look again.
"He makes you feel. He makes you-hell-a girl for lack of better words. No one has ever done that Jo."
"I know," I said grudingly.
"And you're obviously suffering. So why not just put yourself out of your misery and go beg for his forgiveness."
"That's suppose to get rid of misery?"
"Well would you rather lay in bed feeling sorry for yourself?"
"It would never work anyway. I screwed up so bad this time that no one will be able to fix it. It doesn't matter how much I grovel. I messed with his son. He loves his son."
"A few days ago you were convinced otherwise."
"Why the hell are you here if you're just going to make me feel like shit and throw my mistakes up in my face?"
"Because I know the only way you're ever going to get back to normal is if I dragged you out of here kicking and screaming and made you go talk to this guy. Even if you don't have your Happily Ever After, you're going to feel better once you apologize."
"Wrong. It's just going to be worse if he won't take me back."
"And if he does?"
I considered that quietly. I hadn't even allowed myself to consider that R.J. would actually forgive me. If he did, there could be a future in us.
"Your life is going to get a whole hell of a lot better, that's what will happen."
"But what if he rejects me? I couldn't take it. I...I love him."
Zeke stared at me and his eyes sofened. "Sometimes the risk is worth it. If he rejects you, you'll cry on my shoulder for a while and eventually move on with your life. If he says he loves you back-you'll be happy for the rest of your life."
The room was silent for a full minuet as that sunk in. Someone that loved me for me and made me happy-after R.J. had left the first time I had been afraid to even think about that. But now there might be hope. Just as soon as I thought that, my growing hope deflated.
"He's long gone by now. All I know is that he lives inland. We'll never find him."
"Wrong. He's still here. Staying at the Comfort Inn on Oceanside."
I blinked at him again.
"I knew after I came and saw you I'd either be dragging you over there or going over there myself and dragging him out and beating the hell out of him."
"Have I ever told you you are the best friend ever?"
"Nope. But thank you." He went over to my closet and threw me a black tube top and little jean shorts. "Alright, dress to kill."