You're Perfect To Me

Mikey has always known his brother was different. Even when he was just a little kid, he knew that something about Gerard wasn't quite right - at least not like the other kids their age. Gerard was clumsier than most kids, a little awkward and shyer than anyone else Mikey knew. Still, none of those things bothered Mikey Way. In his eyes, Gerard was just his big brother, someone he could play with and stay up late with, even if it was only until eight o'clock, but that was late for a kid his age.

For some reason, Gerard never seemed to mind being around Mikey as much as he did everyone else. The older they got, the more Mikey became aware that Gerard was different. Whenever his aunts and uncles would come to visit, they would gather in another room with Gerard's parents and talk in hushed tones that they thought Mikey and Gerard wouldn't hear while they were busy playing, but occasionally Mikey would pick up on words like "special" and "slow", and sometimes another word that sounded similar to "ass-burgers".

It wasn't until Mikey was fifteen that he learned his brother had a condition called Aspergers. At first, his imagination went into overdrive and he became worried Gerard was terminally ill with something and that he would die. After he voiced this worry to his parents, they gave him a sympathetic smile and sat him down at the wooden kitchen table - much like the same way they did when they gave him the horrifying 'sex talk' - and explained it to him the best that they could. Once they'd assured him Gerard wasn't, in fact, going to die, they told him that Gerard was just different than other kids and that there was nothing really wrong with him.

Of course, that didn't satisfy Mikey's curiosity in the least, and once he was a thousand percent sure they were asleep that night, he crept as silently as he could down the stairs and got onto the old, dusty computer that was located in his father's study. An hour later, and Mikey had read up on every different article he could find, leaving what he thought was the most informative one open so he could re-read it over and over again, trying his hardest to keep his burning eyes open against the white glare of the computer screen.

Aspergers Syndrome - a type of persuasive development disorder that involves delays in the development of many basic skills, most notably the ability to socialize with others, to communicate, and to use imagination. Although similar to autism (a more severe form of PDD), children with Aspergers typically function better and generally have a normal intelligence level and communication ability, though communication may become less as they grow into adults. The most common symptoms are problems with social skills, repetitive behavior or unusual rituals, communication difficulties, limited range of interest, or coordination problems. Another symptom is an exceptional skill or talent in a certain area of interest, such as math or music.

It almost frightened Mikey how perfectly Gerard fit into all the symptoms he'd read about. All the things he'd thought were just quirks his brother had turned out to be a part of this disorder - the way he would hardly ever look anyone in the eyes, the fact that he never really seemed to talk a lot, and especially the weird, awkward way Gerard would move which was obviously just a very poor sense of coordination. The problems with social skills would explain why Gerard was home schooled even though Mikey went to a public school. With a heavy sigh and small sense of relief Mikey turned the computer back off and crept quietly back up the stairs, throwing himself into his bed and trying to let his brain make sense of his scattered thoughts.

By the time another year had passed and Mikey was sixteen, he'd picked up on things about Gerard that he'd never payed much attention to before - whenever he got dressed in the mornings, the routine was the exact same way every single day, no matter what. When Mikey would arrive home from school in the afternoons, he would often find Gerard finished with all of his home school assignments - a clear sign that he was intelligent - and Gerard would be drawing. Even though he would always attempt to hide his art as soon as he noticed someone taking an interest in what he was doing, Mikey would occasionally see bits and pieces of whatever Gerard was drawing and it was always something amazing. Though he would never in a million years admit it, Mikey was jealous that his brother was so talented.

In Mikey's eyes, Gerard was completely and perfectly normal. It wasn't until he was seventeen and Gerard was nineteen that he realized for the first time not everyone else saw Gerard as normal as he did. Mikey remembered it was summertime, and the sun outside was exceptionally bright and scorching that day. He also remembered his groan of disappointment when his parents called him and Gerard outside and told them that their aunt and uncle were coming to visit, and they were expected to be on their best behavior. Mikey didn't have a problem with his aunt nor his uncle - it was their bitchy daughter Ashley that he was unlucky enough to have to call his cousin that he had a problem with. After some resistance, he finally gave up and agreed to be on his best behavior while they were over, then stomped back inside to pout.

A few hours later, his aunt and uncle showed up along with his cousin and another girl he soon learned was a friend that was staying the summer with Ashley. After a while, he found himself sitting in the floor in the living room playing a video game while Ashley and her friend were sitting on the couch on the other side of the room, gossiping amongst themselves quietly. Mikey could hear the adults in another room in the house, all laughing loudly and telling stories or whatever it was they did. Then, he could hear footsteps coming down the hallway and he turned his head to smile as Gerard walked into the living room and headed towards the side where Mikey was. Before he made it across the room, he tripped himself up and stumbled before falling down onto the carpet.

Immediately Mikey stood to help him back up, and he could see from the pink tint in Gerard's cheeks that he was embarrassed, but Mikey was used to it by now. There was nothing wrong with Gerard being a little clumsy. He flashed a reassuring smile to his brother as he helped him up, but it faded as he heard laughter coming from the couch.

"Look, the fat retard can't even walk right!" Ashley jeered, flicking her long hair over her shoulder and laughing loudly like she'd just told the funniest joke in the entire world.

Gerard stiffened, standing awkwardly as he watched both Ashley and her friend laughing, his cheeks growing more flushed by the minute.

"Don't call him that, you stupid fucking bitch." Mikey snarled, taking a step towards the two girls sitting on the couch and at the same time placing himself in front of Gerard, his natural instinct the same as it had been since he was a child - to protect his brother.

Ashley stood up off the couch, rolling her eyes as she took a step closer to Mikey. "Why? He can't even fucking talk, that's obviously what he is. A retard." she sneered again, leaning in closer to Mikey, and before he could even stop to think about what he was doing, he pulled back a fist and hit her as hard as he could.

It didn't take long for both his parents and her parents to rush into the living room at the racket, wondering what the hell was going on. Ashley was crying and holding her steadily darkening eye while her friend stood back, looking a little frightened at the situation. Mikey had his hand securely clamped over Gerard's who was still standing awkwardly in the same spot as he had been, tears obvious in the corners of his eyes. It didn't take long for the situation to be explained, and his aunt and uncle finally left without really saying too much - after all, cousins get into fights all the time. It wasn't really that big of a deal.

Mikey's parents sent Gerard up to his room once everyone had left, then sat Mikey down on the couch and had a long, hard talk with him about how even though he was standing up for his brother, it didn't make it okay to hit girls. Of course, Mikey nodded and told them he understood, trying his hardest to look sorry for what he had done, but that was only because he really, really didn't want to hear the lecture they were giving him. In reality, he was secretly wishing he wasn't such a weakling so he could have done a lot more damage than just a black eye. After what seemed like ages, his parents finally told him he could go, and it took everything he had not to sprint up to Gerard's room to make sure he was okay.

Gerard was sitting on the edge of his bed when Mikey walked in and he hurriedly tried to wipe the tears off his cheeks before Mikey saw, but it was a failed attempt. Mikey would have known he was crying anyways, judging from the way Gerard's eyes were completely red-rimmed and from the way that his entire demeanor practically screamed how upset and broken he was over the entire thing. Instead of using words, Mikey kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed beside his brother, reaching out to pull Gerard down until the were laying side by side, the only sounds heard in the room being Mikey's steady breathing and Gerard's occasional sniffle.

Surprisingly, it was Gerard who broke the silence first. "Not stupid." he whispered, voice cracking as a fresh batch of tears began to well up and spill from his hazel eyes.

"I know you're not. You're perfectly normal." Mikey whispered back, reaching up to wipe Gerard's cheeks with his thumb.

Even though Gerard didn't look like he believed what Mikey was saying, he accepted it anyways before speaking again. "Love you."

"I love you too, Gee." Mikey assured him, trying to ignore the throb in his heart at Gerard's words as he reached down to lace his own fingers with Gerard's long, slender ones and then leaned up to press a kiss against his brother's cheek before cuddling himself back into Gerard's neck, falling back into the silence once again.

Mikey wasn't able to pinpoint exactly when he realized that the way he felt towards Gerard seemed a little more than brotherly, but to be completely honest, he really didn't care. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, because he knew that no matter what happened, he would never do anything to hurt Gerard - he just wanted to make sure that his brother stayed happy, even if that meant putting his own life on hold to do so. Once Mikey graduated from high school, he received a full paid scholarship to a university that was a little over an hour away, and of course everyone expected him to go. His parents bragged about it to every single family member that would listen at his graduation party, and Mikey smiled at the fact that everyone seemed so proud of him. Once he caught sight of Gerard standing in the edge of the hallway, watching the party going on with a look Mikey couldn't identify, his good mood immediately dropped, and he watched in silence as Gerard turned and slowly made his way back towards his bedroom.

As soon as he could manage to break away from his grandmother that was holding him by the arm and gushing over how much he'd grown, Mikey left the room as discreetly as possible and made a beeline straight for Gerard's room, not bothering to knock before walking in. His brother was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, a blank expression on his face that changed to one of surprise when he saw Mikey. Worry at what could possibly be wrong filled Mikey's gut as he closed the door quietly behind him and made his way to the bed, silently asking Gerard with his eyes if he could sit down. Gerard jerked his head in what Mikey took to be a nod then scooted over to give his brother some room.

Mikey moved around until he was sitting right next to Gerard, shoulder to shoulder as he leaned back against the wall, giving the silence a moment before he decided to break it.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked, turning his head to look at his brother.

Gerard let his gaze wander around the room before it dropped to his lap, looking anywhere but towards Mikey. Instead of saying anything, he began to pick at the skin around his nails, ripping and tearing at it until Mikey reached over to grab his hands and stop him.

"Please tell me what's wrong." Mikey pleaded, keeping his gaze on his brother and feeling the worry increase as he saw a tear slip down and fall from the end of Gerard's nose. Instead of answering, Gerard just shrugged and kept his gaze on his lap until Mikey became frustrated, reaching up to grab his brother gently by the chin and forcing him to make eye contact. "Talk to me."

Gerard tried to turn his head but couldn't, and instead kept his eyes averted from Mikey's face the best he could, a pink flush rising on his cheeks as Mikey waited for an answer.

"Gonna leave me." Gerard finally whispered, squeezing his eyes closed as more tears threatened to fall.

In his shock, Mikey let go of Gerard's chin and watched as his brother turned his head back towards his lap, obviously ashamed of the tears he was trying so furiously to wipe away. Mikey sat silently for a moment, trying to think of the appropriate words to say because that was definitely not what he was expecting. Sure, Gerard had always been more partial to Mikey than anyone else in the family, but Mikey never ever thought about the fact that he might mean as much to Gerard as Gerard meant to him. Finally, his licked his lips and reached out to grab one of Gerard's hands.

"You don't want me to go away to college?" Mikey asked, watching as Gerard shook his head and a few tears dropped off his cheeks as he did so. Mikey could have sworn he felt pieces of his heart breaking and he immediately moved to pull Gerard into his lap, letting his arms wrap around his brother's waist as he pressed kisses against his temple and shushed his crying the best he could manage. "If you don't want me to go, then I wont go." Mikey felt Gerard's fingers twist themselves into his shirt as he glanced up, asking silently with teary eyes if Mikey meant it. In return, Mikey smiled and nodded, leaning up to press a kiss against Gerard's cheek, tasting the salty tears on his lips as he pulled back. "I promise, Gee. I'll never leave you."

The shy smile that came across Gerard's features was more than enough thanks for Mikey.

Mikey eventually made his way back downstairs to the party - after all, he was the guest of honor - and was a little unsure of how he was going to break the news to his parents that he wasn't going away for college. Instead of worrying about it, he threw himself back into conversation with his relatives and a few friends that were there, laughing and trying to enjoy himself, but it was harder than it seemed. In reality, he didn't care at all to be surrounded by people that loved him. He really just wanted to be back upstairs with Gerard. Still, he knew his parents would disapprove if he didn't stay and mingle, so Mikey tried to be a sociable as possible until everyone was finally gone. Both his parents were a little more than drunk when the night was over, and they both agreed that the mess could just be left to clean up in the morning and they headed straight to their bedroom. Mikey gave them a quick goodnight, then headed up the stairs towards Gerard's room.

The light was off, and at first Mikey thought that Gerard was asleep until he saw his brother's shadowy form sit up from the bed a little, glancing towards the open door. Mikey smiled, then closed the door behind him and crossed the room, kicking his shoes off before climbing into the bed next to Gerard, pulling the covers over himself as he got comfortable. The room was quiet for a while, and Mikey's eyes were slowly adjusting to the dark enough so he could make out Gerard's figure, the way his stringy black hair fell into his eyes, his thin lips and pointy nose. He was so caught up in staring that he almost didn't realize Gerard had turned over onto his side and was staring back at him.

Gerard kept his eyes on Mikey's for a moment, longer than he would ever keep eye contact with anyone else, before letting a small smile grace his lips. "Thank you."

Before Mikey could say anything in response, Gerard moved forward and pressed his lips against Mikey's before quickly pulling back, a look of fear flashing in his eyes. Instead of saying anything, Mikey smiled in reassurance and leaned forward to catch Gerard's lips with his own, keeping them there until he felt Gerard smile and start to kiss back. Gerard let his hand fall on Mikey's side as they moved closer together, kissing again. The air in the room felt like it had electricity running through it, and all Mikey could focus on was how Gerard's lips felt against his own, how undoubtedly right it felt, and how he never ever in a million years thought this would be happening.

It came as a shock when Mikey felt his brother's tongue slide along his bottom lip, and he could only imagine where the hell Gerard learned to do that, but nevertheless he parted his lips and unsurely met Gerard's tongue with his own, letting out a little gasp when Gerard pretty much shoved his entire tongue into Mikey's mouth, letting out a small giggle before pulling away.

"Not a kid." he reminded Mikey, then leaned forward to close the space between their lips again. Mikey let his arms wrap around Gerard's waist as he kissed him back, letting his tongue explore his brother's mouth and trying to control the rapid thumping of his heart as he let his senses take over him, trying to ignore the clenching feeling he felt in his stomach as he though about how good Gerard tasted. He wanted so much more, but at the same time wanted to continue exactly how they were, kissing slow and wet and feeling each others body warmth from being pressed so close together. Mikey pulled away to catch his breath and heard Gerard whimper, felt the hand his brother had on his side clench into his shirt as he shifted himself closer to Mikey.

Mikey couldn't help but gasp and let out a surprised "oh" when he felt his brother's erection pressing into his hip as he shifted himself closer, and tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach as he looked at Gerard, his dark eyes wild and clouded over in a way that Mikey hadn't seen before. Gerard's breathing was heavy as he slipped his thigh between Mikey's and slowly began to rock against him, causing Mikey's breath to hitch in his throat and his eyes to momentarily slip closed as a tingling sensation went straight to his groin and caused his member to swell.

"Gerard," Mikey tried to speak, but it came out in a breathy whisper when he felt Gerard began to rock his hips harder.

Mikey had never seen Gerard look at him the way he was doing then, eyes wide and pleading and so full of desperate want that there was no way Mikey could even begin to consider making Gerard stop. Instead, Mikey kissed him again, silencing the needy whimpers that were falling from Gerard's lips and causing Mikey to feel hot all over, then pulled away and grabbed Gerard by his hip, causing him to stop his grinding for a moment as Mikey rolled over onto his back and pulled Gerard so he was lying on top of him. He situated himself underneath his brother the best he could before leaning up and catching Gerard's lips with his own again, kissing him slowly as he gently rocked his hips up against Gerard's.

Mikey could feel Gerard whimper into the kiss and he slipped his tongue into Gerard's hot mouth to keep him quiet, remembering that their parents were down the hall and this would be an awful situation to be caught in. Gerard's hands tangled in Mikey's hair and tugged gently, eliciting a low moan from Mikey as he let his own hands slip down to Gerard's hips and hold him in place as he bucked up against him, feeling white-hot from head to toe from the pleasure of his erection rubbing against his brother's. His heart was thumping erratically in his chest as the movement of their hips grew more frantic, and Mikey felt it when Gerard came, his hands clenching hard in Mikey's hair as he rocked down as hard as he could, riding out the orgasm. That was all it took to send Mikey over the edge, hard and wet inside his jeans and letting out another moan against his brother's lips.

Gerard had a dazed expression on his face as Mikey slowly pulled away, trying hard to catch his breath as he surveyed his brother's face to make sure he was ok. The goofy looking smile and quiet giggle Gerard let slip as he placed a quick kiss to the side of Mikey's mouth was all it took to reassure him, and he couldn't help but smile back as he let Gerard climb off him and then rolled over so he could grab his brother's waist, pulling him in as close as he could and tangling their legs together as his heart rate began to slow down some. Gerard obliged, curling himself into Mikey's touch and slowly letting his fingers trace over one Mikey's arm.

Heavy breathing was the only thing that could be heard in the dark room, and Mikey was almost on the verge of sleep when he felt Gerard move a little.

"Never leave." he felt the whisper against his neck and couldn't help the wide smile that stretched across his face.

Mikey nodded, pressing a kiss against Gerard's forehead. "I'll never, ever leave you." Gerard let out a contented sigh and Mikey could feel him smile against his neck before he whispered the two words Mikey liked to hear more than anything else in the world.

"Love you."

Mikey smiled, slipping his hand into Gerard's own and lacing their fingers together, squeezing gently.

"I love you, too."