I Swim For Brighter Days

The girl leaned back into the warm sand. The tiny, sun-bleached grains stuck to her back and hair, still wet with saltwater. Tears flowed out of her green eyes. They dripped off her nose and onto her lips.

She just wanted to drown herself in the sand. She wanted to get away from this hellhole she called a home. The beach was the perfect place to die. Public, but still private. Everyone focused on appearances, if they looked good in their bikini, or if their muscles were perfect. The lifeguards were too busy flirting with each other, seeing if they could bring that person home tonight. No one cared what happened on the beach. No one ever cared.

She wiped away a tear from her cheek with a slender finger. At least her French manicure was still perfect.

If only her nails represented her home life. Her parents fought constantly and blamed the girl for their impending divorce. She knew they were overreacting. She knew that they didn't mean that. It was just so difficult to get herself to believe it.

They spat that every time they looked at their child, they saw the spitting image of each other. She had her mother's hair, fiery red to match her personality. She had her father's features, glassy green eyes that could see through your soul. She hated how when she tried to calm things down, they just turned on her.

She shook her head, trying to forget those memories. The sand flew into her face and the sand stuck to her lips. If people were watching her, they might've gone and called an exorcist.

She opened her eyes and felt something wet cover her feet. She sat up and smiled. The tide was coming in. She smirked and stood up. The sand made her back itch, but she didn't fought the urge to scratch. As she walked into the water, she started to feel at peace with herself. The water splashed up to her ankles, then her calves, then her thighs. Finally, it got so deep, that her hair started to get soaked with water. She felt for the sandy ocean floor, but her toes could feel nothing. She looked back at the shore, at all the tanners and lifeguards and happy families. They wouldn't care. Not at all.

She drew in a shaky breath and dunked her head under. She kept her eyes open, looking at the surface of the water. Her lungs started to hurt from the lack of oxygen. She resisted the urge to swim towards the sun, to take in a large breath of air. She dove deeper, the bubbles flowing out of her nose and mouth.

She started to relax, letting the water surround her. It felt like the ocean was absorbing her stress, her worries, her problems. Her lungs really started to burn. They felt like they were on fire, begging for oxygen. Her throat kept constricting and constricting. Her eyes widened and she could really start to feel how badly the saltwater burned. She tried swimming towards the surface, using all her strength, but it was no use. She had gone too deep. She wouldn't be able to make it to the surface in time, she realized. Her lungs begged for air and in her panic, she started gulping down the saltwater. She started to think how much she wanted to live, how badly she regretted doing this. Everything could've been solved. She only had a couple more weeks until she became legal. She had best friends and a boyfriend who cared for her and loved her. She had things worth living for. And as these thoughts ran through her head, she realized how badly she fucked up.

Her head started to pound, trying to get the remaining oxygen to hear heart. Her heart thumped and thumped, realizing her fate as the seconds passed. Then, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Her heart started to beat slower and slower as her hair, just like her mom's, poofed into a giant mushroom could. The blood vessels in her green eyes, a spitting image of her dad's, started to expand. All she wanted to do was find her parents and tell them that she loved them, that they were wrong, that she was sorry. She missed them oh so much. Her heart finally stopped beating. Oxygen bubbled out her nose. She stopped trying to fight and she became as limp as a rag doll.

Her body started to float towards the surface, almost like it was light as a feather. Her soul started to leave her body. What a bad decision she had made. But maybe, just maybe, it was the start of brighter days for her.