Opposites Distract

“This is a huge group,” Warren Hensley muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and sighing.

“Maybe if you’re lucky, no one will pick you,” I teased, playfully punching his shoulder.

I had no idea why Warren was here for the summer. Usually he went home or abroad for the summers. He was even gone for some spring semesters, but no one ever chooses to study abroad during the fall semesters. Who in their right mind would miss football season? Warren was always moving. He ran cross country and played soccer. He double majored in piano performance and pre-med, and was an alumni now. He graduated last year. I would have, too, if not for my major.

I was only staying at Notre Dame for the summer because I loved the school and I missed the campus. I’d just come back from my year in Italy, which was a part of the architecture program. Warren and a few kids in my class were here giving tours of the campus to a bunch of high school students today. “Yeah, right,” Warren sighed, jerking his chin towards to room of high school students. “Look at these kids… already undressing me with their eyes!” he hissed to me, and I tried not to laugh at the way some girls were looking at him. He was right. “This fucking sucks. I wish May was here.”

“May’s with her family,” I reminded him. He’d been sighing about her all day and had told me that she was with her family several times already. “Warren, why are you here for the summer, anyways? I thought you got some internship at a hospital in Chicago? I know you don’t want to give tours to these kids! Are you even allowed to?”

“You’re obviously short on tour guides,” Warren pointed out. Including the two of us, there were only five tour guides, and there were at least thirty students…just students. There were parents, too. “Believe me, if I didn’t have a reason to give tours, I wouldn’t…May didn’t tell you yet?” he said incredulously. “I thought you guys were, like, best friends.”

“Warren, I only know May because of you,” I laughed, but he was right. May and I talked a lot because she went to a study abroad program in Greece that we happened to attend. We talked ever since. At the time, I was a junior and she was a senior. She was older than me by two years, but I skipped a grade and started school early. Somewhere along the way, she and Warren started dating. Small world, obviously, for them to make a long distance relationship not only last, but thrive. Warren was nice to look at, but I had no time for boys.

People tell me I have an old soul. Well, this old soul of mine has a purpose it’s striving for, but it had no mate, and I was fine with that. It’s just… no one else could keep up.

“We’re getting married,” Warren said happily.

“What? I mean, I knew you guys were engaged and all, but I didn’t know…Oh my gosh, Warren, that’s great!” I said as I hugged him.

“Thanks for that, the girls look like they wanna cry now,” Warren chuckled into my ear.

I rolled my eyes and let him go. “So, when is it gonna be?”

“At the end of July, here in the Basilica,” he said, looking out the window at the basilica.

“Oh, so that’s why you’re stuck giving tours,” I chuckled, shaking my head indulgently. “May’s gonna love that, Warren. The basilica’s gorgeous.” Warren smiled serenely and was about to say something else, but the students started to pick and choose us. Warren wasn’t swamped, though – he had about eight students, and their parents. He rushed off before more could pick him.

I had a sizeable group of thirteen students, and each had one, if not two, parents with them…so, yeah, a fairly large group. Nothing I couldn’t handle, though. Seven were interested in architecture, which was wonderful. I had lots to say to them. We walked all over the campus, in and out of the buildings. I loved watching their faces as we walked from place to place. They were so amazed with the campus, and I was so proud to go to school here. As usual, we stopped at the grotto for pictures and just some quiet time and a break for me. Warren wasn’t here yet, though. Probably just running a little behind on his tour.

“Oh my god, it’s so fucking hot!” A loud male voice groaned. I frowned at the two young men walking down the stairs. “Alex, let’s sit down here, please. I’m tired. This place is huge!”

“Alright,” the dirty blonde replied to the dark haired one, and he made himself comfortable on the bench nearest to me.

“Damn, I hate this place already!” the dark haired one sighed, shrugging out of his jacket as he joined his friend on the bench. That wasn't something I wanted to hear, from anyone, ever.

“Excuse me,” I said to them both, but looked at the dark haired one in particular. “I don’t care what your religious affiliations are, but would you mind showing a little more respect?” I told him, gesturing towards the statue of Mary and the people kneeling down and the people lighting candles.

“I don’t care who you think you are," the dark haired one imitated me, making his voice high pitched just to mock me. "But would you mind telling me how old you are?” He grinned at me after shamelessly scanning my body, his friend chuckling at his actions.

I held my tongue and folded my arms across my chest, irritated beyond belief at this guy. The nerve! But I had a good school to represent. I wasn’t about to swear like a sailor at these two idiots right in front of a group of prospective students. “Are you lost? Did you get separated from your group on your tour?” I asked as politely as I could manage.

"Are you lost? because heaven is a long way away from here." The dirty blonde cracked up, but I just rolled my eyes.

"Look, I'm trying to help you out here," I said a little impatiently.

“Ok, then...yeah, do you have a map?” the dark one asked somewhat seriously as the dirty blonde furiously elbowed him. “Because I keep on getting lost in your eyes.” Then they both burst into a fit of laughter. I sighed. These guys were hopeless. “No, but seriously. You’re hot. So hot. Like, really fucking hot.”

"I'm sorry he's such an asshole," the dirty blonde sighed, but he was still smiling.

“Profanity is lack of vocabulary,” I told them, feeling my hands clench into fists.

“Run that by me one more time, babe?” The annoying one asked after thinking on it for a moment. Yeah…lost, horny high school douche bags. How they made their way onto campus, I will never know. I didn’t even bother looking at them anymore. “Well, I’m Jack, and this is my best friend Alex,” Jack said loudly, obviously craving attention. “What’s your name?” He asked, trying to get a better look at my name tag, but my crossed arms covered it. I ignored them. "Ok, fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Chuck?" Jack and Alex started laughing again. They were so immature...

“I am…” I began slowly, turning to face them again. Alex and Jack straightened up hopefully. “Done talking to you,” I finished with a sweet smile. “Is everyone ready to continue with the tour?” I asked from the top of the stairs. Soon, I was surrounded by my group, so we went on her way. I walked backwards so I could talk to my tour group, but I also saw something I didn’t want to see…

Alex and Jack, following us from a distance.

Couldn’t they take a hint?