When You Can't Sleep at Night

"What are you doing?" I asked the man standing across from me. He was smiling at me, holding my hands in his, trying to make me follow him. I refused, wanting to stay where I was, with my friends and family, but he wanted me to join him somewhere else. "I don't want to go with you." I said, trying not to sound childish, trying not to give in. He smiled even bigger because he knew it was a lie.
"Just for a little bit." He whispered, making me lean in to hear him. I leaned back at once, trying to keep my distance, trying to take my hands out of his. He wouldn't let go, and kept pulling me in the direction of the back door.
"Jorel!" I exclaimed, finally breaking the hold he had on me, managing to take my hands out of his grasp.
"Jessica." He said my name, firm, and sighed. He looked me once in the eyes, then turned on his heel, and walked out the back door without another word.

I walked back into my home, trying not to make eye contact with anyone there, but of course, someone had noticed Jorel and me walking off. Everyone noticed everything in everyone else's lives. My brother was the first to approach me, being half drunk by the time I wandered off, his breath stinking of tequila. He put his arm around me, bringing me into the kitchen with him. It was my twenty-first birthday, and while I should've been the one getting drunk beyond belief, everyone else was celebrating on my behalf. "Come on girl, we need to get some alcohol in you." My brother said to me, letting me go and pouring me a shot of whatever was on the counter. I didn't even look at it as he shoved it in my face, not pausing to take in anything, just wanting to drown my thoughts in alcohol. It burned as it went down, and I coughed from the strength. I hated alcohol, the taste, the smell, but I loved the feeling of being drunk. He smiled down at me, pouring me another shot.
"Jack isn't my specialty, Dylan." I said to him and he barked out a laugh.
"Then something else, yeah?" he asked without getting an answer and poured me something else. He put it in my face again, and this time I was wearier. "Anyone ever tell you you're not supposed to remember your twenty-first?" he asked and I smirked sarcastically. He put the shot glass in my hand. "You sure as hell ain't gonna remember anything after tonight." He said as I slung the poison down my throat.

I felt the pounding in my head before I even opened my eyes. I breathed in and out, keeping my eyes closed. I turned around in bed, taking the blankets with me, and willing myself to sleep again. I would sleep this hangover off, like I always did.

By the time I fully awoke, I had no idea what had happened the night before, as Dylan had so gratefully promised me. I rolled over in bed, my hand smacking against the naked flesh of someone else in the bed with me. I opened my eyes immediately and sat up. I kept my mouth shut, looking down at the blankets pooled around my waist, thanking the Lord that I was clothed. The naked back of who I had just smacked rolled over to reveal a friend, and not who I had expected. Danny was lying there, shirtless and had probably been sleeping off the night he had. I sighed, being so relieved that I hadn't realized he was awake. He rubbed his eyes, a smile on his face at my reaction. "You look alive." He commented once he looked at me, light flooding in from the closed blinds. I looked around again, unaware that I wasn't in my room till just now. I shook my head, and rubbed my eyes, trying to get my bearings about myself.
"Let me get back to you on that." I said to him and he laughed, stretching in whoever's bed we were in. "So why are you in here?" I asked him and he shrugged.
"Your guess is as good as mine. Although, I do remember George and Kristie hightailing it to your parent's room, Dylan and some bimbo heading to the basement, and your room was locked." He said and I looked around. We were in my brother's room, and I wondered how I had gotten here. "Matt bunked up on the couch, Jordon left with Randi, and Jorel never came back." He said and looked at me. I looked away immediately, not wanting to betray any of my emotions. I heard people's voices from the other side of the door, and I got out of bed to inspect the situation that was everyone else's night. I heard Danny scramble to get out of bed and join me, and as he did so, I opened the door ever so slightly. We both peaked out of it, seeing my brother and his lay in the kitchen beyond. She was a tall, blonde, skinny looking girl who had a laugh that could make birds jealous with its pitch. I looked at Danny, whose face was pure disgust, and couldn't help but laugh. Dylan turned on the spot at the sound of my laugh, stepping away from the girl and coming towards the door.
"Oh, Murillo gettin' down with my little sis, huh?" he practically shouted. I turned red immediately, an automatic reaction, but it fueled the fire that was Dylan Alvarez. "Decker ain't gonna be pleased with that!" he hooted and I stepped out from behind the door and smacked him across the chest.
"Yeah, and Brittany sure as hell is gonna love this one, huh?" I said, retaliating against his quips.
"You wouldn't." he said, instantly sobering up from his jokes. I shrugged and walked away from him and down the hall to my room. He knew I wouldn't say a word to Brittany, his long time girlfriend who was across in Britain, but he knew better. "You really fuck my sister?" I heard Dylan ask Danny, and I scoffed, yelling a negative to his question, and unlocking my room.

I could hear my friends talking about the night before animatedly as someone threw away the bottles that were strewn all over the house. My dark wet hair flopped in my face as I went to the bathroom to put my makeup on. As I applied the dark eyeliner and eye shadow, my best friend appeared in the doorway. "You remember anything from last night?" she asked me and I shook my head, trying not to poke myself in the eye. "What'd you do to Jorel to make him leave?" she asked and I stopped. She huffed, knowing I remembered that.
"I didn't do anything." I said in my defense and she scoffed.
"That I don't believe." She said and I looked over to her as I finished wiping the excess from my face.
"Legitimately, I did nothing. He wanted me to leave, go with him somewhere, but I didn't. It was my fucking birthday, and the bastard left." I said, the bit of bitterness seeping through my words. She raised her brows as I pushed past her and back into my room, throwing my hair up and staring at my mirror. She came in behind me, sitting on my bed, looking at the picture of Jorel and I on my mirror. I took one glance at it and turned around so I wouldn't see it. "What?" I asked, annoyed with everything.
"What are you going to do about him?" she asked me and I shrugged, going to shut my door so my brother and his stupid friends didn't listen in to our conversation.
"What am I going to do about him?" I asked her and she shrugged.
"It's not his fault. What happened, really." She said; standing up for him like everyone had. I sighed, and shook my head, closing my eyes against her words and my thoughts. "You can't blame him for his past, Jessi. He didn't ask for this." She said and I just nodded. I had heard it all. "He didn't even know you when it happened."
"I know Kristie, I know. I've heard it all before, trust me." I said, not wanting to listen to her. "So what happened last night?" I asked her, trying to get her to stray from the subject, and she took the bait willingly, babbling on about the night no one could remember.

I sat on the bench swing on the back porch, smoking a cigarette in the night when I heard the backdoor open and close. Someone joined me on the seat and I didn't even have to bother to look up to see who it was. "Danny?" I asked out loud, and I heard his light chuckle.
"How do you always know it's me?" he asked, taking a cigarette from my pack next to me and lighting up one of his own.
"Because, next to my brother and Kristie, you're my best friend." I said and looked over to him. The moon shone brightly on his face and his smile.
"What about Jorel?" he asked and I raised my brows, even though he couldn't see. I looked away from him, and down the street where I could see two cats fighting under a streetlight.
"What about him?" I asked, inhaling and exhaling.
"He's your friend too, you know." He said and I nodded.
"I feel like I could come to you with more then I could go to Jorel anymore." I said and bit my tongue. I hadn't wanted to talk about this, and yet, everyone was bringing it up.
"Jorel means well." He said and I nodded. "He doesn't want to upset or disappoint anyone, and I can see he's doing just that." He said and I sighed.
"I don't want him to worry about my feelings. He's got bigger things to worry about right now. I'm the least of his worries." I said, sounding self-righteous. I felt Danny's hand on my shoulder for comfort. "Only the truth." I said, trying to justify myself.
"I know." He said, and left it at that. "Just try and have an open mind…" he began. "And an open heart, if you can." He said, finishing the last of his cigarette and leaving me with my burning ash.